How can I tell my girlfriend she is fat?

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I agree. Staying with someone because you can’t stand the thought of being single or you can’t get anyone else really isn’t fair on the other person.

My opinion is don't tell her. If someone told me that I was getting fat it would upset me. As someone who's weight goes up and down, I always have to be the one to decide that I want to lose weight. If my husband said I was getting fat it would have the opposite effect and I would just eat more because I would be sad. Hormone changes and other conditions can cause weight gain. She may be trying to lose weight or struggling to maintain.

I will say this. If someone is trying to lose weight, support them. It is an addiction. If they ask you not to have sweets and snacks lying around then LISTEN to them. It is really, really unfair when you put someones' addictive (substance?) in front of them and expect them to get over it. It is seriously unfair and out of order.

Also, when they do decide to treat themselves, DON'T CHASTISE them for it. The more you try to control the way that person eats (how much, what, when), the more out of control they fear of themselves, and they stuff themselves feeling guilty afterwards, then the cycle continues.

Be nice to them about it. Lots of people have the attitude of, "Sigh, they've failed again" whenever that person slips. Yes, they are going to make mistakes, sometimes multiple ones. It is normal. If they are like me, they are probably paranoid about it.

For those who say that the person losing weight should get over it and not control how the person eats above? Let's just say that last year, I was doing really well losing weight. My nan put out cake, bread, sweets, snacks, fatty foods all out for two whole weeks. I kept telling her, crying, that it was so hard for me, and to please hide the snacks in the cupboards at least. She didn't listen. I failed my diet, piled on the weight, and hated myself so much. She still sighs at me if I eat bad foods. I'm furious at her. I will never forgive her. That is how awful it is. I really hate her everytime she looks disgusted if I overeat. I was doing so incredibly well last year. She does not see that she had any involvement in that. Yes she bloody well did, and it's about time people stopped shaming fat people when the others around them won't f*cking help them.

If you have an addiction you can't just stop and quit it, you need support, not people continuously telling you you've failed and that you're going to stop just because they somehow miraculously shamed you enough into quitting. The human mind doesn't work like that.

Yes, the best way to support someone who is dieting is to eat the same foods they are supposed to be eating, so they won't be tempted to eat things they shouldn't.

It may just be my metabolism, but I find I can't gain any weight no matter how much I eat if I've spent all day working outside in cold weather. Nothing super strenuous, just chopping or sawing wood into little pieces, raking leaves, or cleaning the gutters.

Tell her that even though she's gotten fat, you're still attracted to her - by her powerful gravitational field!

I'm glad you're doing so well sly279. I think you'll do fine.

I wouldn't tell somebody they are "fat" if that person is fat.

I'm sure the person knows already.