Flirty or friendly?

Post Reply New Topic

Am I the only one who's never got a clue whether someone is flirting or not, basically what their true intentions are?

I keep overanalyzing the smallest things trying to figure out what they mean. Thing is, I'm only ever interested in the truth, just never sure what exactly that is or if I should trust my own version of it. So I keep analyzing, coming up with a bunch of different theories.

Right now, I have a friend who I experience this confusion towards. We've made it clear to each other that we're 'just friends' and nothing more. They've even said that they don't have romantic feelings for me. Yet I sometimes can't help but interpret their comments as flirty. It's possible, probably most likely, that they're just being friendly and nice. Some people are just naturally charming I assume. The comments I'm referring to mostly consist of compliments. They compliment me a whole lot, both in a joking manner and a reassuring one. I suppose this is normal for friends to do? They've called me pretty much every good thing there is to describe a person - which I'm obviously very thankful for and I make it a point to let them know how much I appreciate it.

Feel free to share your own thoughts on the topic or comment on my situation (would be very much appreciated)

It is SO HARD to tell!! !
And I think I usually get it wrong.
I was once totally unaware that this woman was into me until she scooted in close to me, picked up my arm, and put it around her. And, honestly, I still wasn't really sure what she meant by that. But I ended up going out with her for a couple of years.

I don't really know how to flirt, and I can't really pick up on it unless I've been with someone long enough to know what they're doing.
Maybe your friend is just flirtatious, without necessarily meaning anything by it.

If people have ever flirted with me, I've been too oblivious to it to even know I was being flirted with. But judging by the description you gave, the person is simply being friendly. Then again, it does leave quite a bit of room for interpretation, especially since I'm not privy as to the usual flirting etiquette.

I haven't a clue either. I only know iv'e been flirted with after the man has given up and someone else say's 'didn't you like him then?' and I'm

Some people really enjoy flirting and do it even when they don't want to date someone. Since you and your friend have said you are not interested in each other, maybe he is flirting with you a bit because he feels it is 'safe' to do so, that you will not think he wants to date you.

I know someone who is very flirty, she flirts with everyone, young, old, married, single, male ,female, ugly, whatever. I asked her about it because I was curious (she is happily married) and she said that she loves to flirt but doesn't flirt with anyone who might take her flirting seriously. I see now that she doesn't flirt with men about her own age unless they know her well.

Flirty =/= Interested.

This is something that's always been difficult for me to understand. I just don't get the point or meaning of flirting if there aren't real intentions behind it. Sure, some people do it for 'fun', it's just something I can't personally comprehend in my mind.

Some people flirt with others even if they aren't really interested in them in a romantical or sexual way... how to tell that kind of flirting apart from flirting of someone who is interested, well... practice?

The signs of real interest are completely different than flirting.

I guess that's true.

What would those signs be?
Anyone, feel free to answer

For example....did he ever initiate any chat with you?

They enjoy the attention

Figuring out if someone is romantically interested or not, can be tricky sometimes, especially if they super friendly/flirty with the opposite sex. Also, everyone is different, so there isn't any one way to be 100% sure, regarding someone's romantic interest level.

One method I use, is to observe the way they interact around other people (especially the opposite sex), then compare that to how they act around you. If they act the same around you as they do other people, then I would say they are most likely not romantically interested. If they act different around you, then this shows you that they see you differently than other people. Also, just because they might see you differently, doesn't mean they are romantically interested in you. It might also mean they don't like you for some reason. It takes a lot of experience to tell the difference.