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FunkyPunky
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06 Dec 2017, 10:35 am

I just went on a date the other day and long story short it went horribly. It turns out she had posted pictures from three-four years ago on her account and had put on a lot of weight since then. I mean a lot of weight. I broke things off pretty fast. Not because she was unattractive (she still wasn't that bad looking) but because she had lied to me before we even met. If she's willing to lie about how she looks just to get to meet someone then what else is she willing to lie about? And I know she's not the only one who does this. It confuses the hell out of me. What do they expect is going to happen? Do they think we're not going to notice they look fifty pounds heavier than they did on their profile? I can't see a single way posting innacurate pictures of yourself is going to end well.



Fireblossom
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06 Dec 2017, 11:58 am

Maybe she's really unsure about herself now that she has gained weight? Maybe she thought it doesn't matter as long as its really her picture? In any case, not cool, no matter what her reason was. Personally I think its fine to use a few years old photo if one's appearance hasn't really changed since the photo was taken, but in a case like this... not okay.

But on a positive note, at least it was her own picture and not someone else.



hale_bopp
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06 Dec 2017, 1:40 pm

Maybe she hasn’t noticed the weight gain. People see themselves every day. It’s also possible she’s in denial about the weight gain.

So many people do this, men and women. Not the best idea.

But I think you’re taking it too personally. It usually isn’t an intentional vindictive lie, like using someone else’s picture.

Some people actually think they still look like that.



Sweetleaf
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06 Dec 2017, 1:44 pm

I didn't know having an older picture up was 'lying' I mean did you discuss her weight with her before meeting her...did she claim to have a skinny/slim body type at any point? Also its not very easy to gauge ones actual weight from a picture...I say if her actual weight wasn't an issue, you just sold yourself short because it does not sound like a case of someone intentionally lying about their appearance.

I think that's more if you use a fake picture or photo-shop your picture to look different and then even claimed on your profile to have a different body type than you do that would be a lie, not having an old picture and having gained or lost some weight since you took it.


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FunkyPunky
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06 Dec 2017, 2:06 pm

This was definitely misleading because she looked nothing like her pictures. I don't mean she was a small bit chubbier I mean that if she hadn't come up and greeted me by name I would never have thought it was the same person. There is no way unless she was literally blind that she could think that she looked the same as her old pictures. And yes I consider putting up inaccurate pictures to be lying. When the only way someone can know anything about you is by what you decide to share with them they will of course assume you are the person you present yourself to be. When you instead turn out to look entirely different and decidedly less attractive (not completely unattractive just less attractive) that person will naturally feel lied to because it was a conscious decision on your part to post old innacurate photos rather than take new ones of how you actually look now.



Closet Genious
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06 Dec 2017, 2:09 pm

It's possible that she just forgot it, or didn't really consider it.

I was at a job interview once, where the employer was suprised by me having long hair, because the picture on my application was 1 year old, and I had grown my hair out since then.



hale_bopp
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06 Dec 2017, 2:12 pm

You did the right thing in ending it. I sort of feel sorry for her, sounds like she has some psychological issues. Maybe it has worked for her as a lure in the past, but yeah it’s a massive waste of your time.

I’ve met heaps of people who look nothing like their pictures but tried to enjoy the date anyway. I probably look worse in real life. Some people think I do, some people think I look better?

Better luck next time.



sly279
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06 Dec 2017, 4:04 pm

I’ve been told by people on who to lie on my ads and profiles.

I imagine women would feel like you do, but it does seem maybe most people lie in some way 0.o. How can relationships be built on lies?



Sweetleaf
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07 Dec 2017, 6:38 pm

FunkyPunky wrote:
This was definitely misleading because she looked nothing like her pictures. I don't mean she was a small bit chubbier I mean that if she hadn't come up and greeted me by name I would never have thought it was the same person. There is no way unless she was literally blind that she could think that she looked the same as her old pictures. And yes I consider putting up inaccurate pictures to be lying. When the only way someone can know anything about you is by what you decide to share with them they will of course assume you are the person you present yourself to be. When you instead turn out to look entirely different and decidedly less attractive (not completely unattractive just less attractive) that person will naturally feel lied to because it was a conscious decision on your part to post old innacurate photos rather than take new ones of how you actually look now.


Well they could have simply forgot about updating their picture, or didn't realize the importance of a recent picture. Just saying if they still were attractive to you and pleasant enough to be around it may have been worth giving more of a chance. This is assuming you still found her attractive but were just flustered by the old picture...basically it may not have been 'malicious' at all. Also though how does one look 100% different than their picture even an old one unless they edited the picture? I mean if it was really her picture of her I just can't imagine it was meant as an intentional 'lie'.


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BTDT
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07 Dec 2017, 6:46 pm

Match will automatically grab your Facebook photo. Which reminds me, I ought to update my Facebook photo.



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08 Dec 2017, 7:57 am

One of my first dates was with someone who looked NOTHING like their pictures. That's not a problem per se since I look very different in pictures than in real life (I once posted a picture here knowing that nobody would even recognize me in real life). The issue was that she clearly manipulated the pictures into looking more attractive than she was. It's one thing to put your best face on but she looked at least 50lbs more than in the photos and not nearly as attractive. They were more recent photos so she didn't just gain weight it was deliberate manipulation.

Didn't matter anyway because she ghosted me anyway.



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08 Dec 2017, 8:16 am

Pretry sure my ex did this. Told me he was a "Large" when he was in reality 6XL... considered morbidly obese.
And now that he's single, I've saw his dating profile "average" written in the Body Type question on his profile. He's still in reality the same size he was, if not bigger. Hilarious!!

It is wrong for someone to lie like this to you and to anybody. I fail to see the point because she must know that you and other dudes are going to see that she lied straight away.

I know a someone who's friend's sister... blah blah blah... used a picture of her own sister on a dating website because she was underage. So she went for months talking to this guy and planning to meet up (he was from out of town) and she forgot to mention that her profile picture is actually of her sister and she looks not at all much like her sister.
Her sister and her boyfriend go with her to meet the guy. Guy got an extremely awkward surprise...


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FunkyPunky
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08 Dec 2017, 10:39 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Also though how does one look 100% different than their picture even an old one unless they edited the picture? I mean if it was really her picture of her I just can't imagine it was meant as an intentional 'lie'.


Trust me when they look this different it has to be deliberate. There is no way she didn't notice the difference. I'm not going to share actual pictures of her because that'd be pretty low of me but this is a good approximation of the difference between her pics and how she really looked.
Image
and
Image



SilverStar
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08 Dec 2017, 8:50 pm

Pictures don't always tell the whole story. People, highlight the good, and downplay, or hide the bad...especially on dating sites.

Lying? Yes, and no. Misleading? Absolutely. Either way, it does feel like a bait and switch, when you see them in person, and they look totally different.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Dec 2017, 6:50 am

It is a very common lie.



Kurgan
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09 Dec 2017, 4:54 pm

If you use dating sites, this is going to happen a lot.


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