How do I get into dating?

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I'm 24 years old and my experience with girls are very limited, I haven't even interacted with a girl in 5 years . I can small talk pretty good but I have absolutely no clue how to progress any further with them beyond small talk. Advice is welcome and if you could recommend a book or resources that would be great.

Ask someone you know in real life who has gone on many dates and that person will tell you.

Don’t bother with dating sites unless you know how to engage people. I would suggest to guys who can only do “hi how r u” to meet people in real life.

Yeah I meant in real life. "Hi how are you?" and some small talk is about as far as I can get, I don't know how to make friends (female).

Do any of your male friends do stuff? Do they invite you to events girls might be? It’s probably a confidence thing. Don’t beat yourself up too much about it. Tip: ask people about themselves, people love talking about themselves, just look at the people here. If you cannot be a talker, be a listener. Some people just want someone to care about what they have to say.

If you find people don’t want to engage with you, try and seek out lonely people to be kind to. Volunteer at an old folks home or a homeless shelter. You may not want to date these people, but you can gain some good conversational experience, and make someone’s day a bit better.

I think you should find at least 1 if not more dating sites and join. This is how I see it, the collective "we" are trying to learn how to date...right? Dating sites are a perfect place to learn, try new lines, and begin to understand what works and what doesn't. It doesn't matter if you're an Aspie of an NT Women are crazy difficult to understand because they're generally more emotional. I am lost when it comes to that BUT I have learned how to "compensate" and you can too. There is no one way to date but you can develop a way that will work for you and that you'll feel comfortable with. The key is to be you, if you start with a mask you'll have to continue with a mask. Another thing I've learned be patient with the conversation, we like to talk about us and overshare. The biggest killer I've found is coming across as "needy" cuz you want to talk to your "new friend". This will come in time but if you rush it odds are you'll lose it. Just some thoughts based on my experience your mileage may vary

Far as I've deduced, making friends isn't really a measurable skill. It just sort of happens - when you spend enough time around one person (and, more importantly, talk to them enough), you're bound to get friendly with them. That's how it happened with me and a female colleague of mine recently anyway.

As for any gender-specific methods for making friends, I'm inclined to believe that they're utter nonsense. I think the methods are more individual-specific. That said, it is generally true that men mostly look for buddies to hang around with while women seek deeper connections.

To answer your actual question, though, I have to second what hale_bopp said. Believe it or not, I've used a couple of dating sites, and my experience with them was questionable to say the least. I figure it's best for you to avoid them like the plague. And as Zach said, if you deem it necessary, ask a more experienced friend to give you a hand.

The best way is to use dating sites. I met my present and all my past girlfriends on dating sites.

Dittos what hale_bopp said.

I somewhat disagree wrt it being a measurable skill. I lean more towards it being so.

People are generally self-interested. If you understand that and do everything you can to indulge that self-interest, those people will seek you out every chance they get. That’s how you make friends. Once you invest in them long enough, it gets easy to ask them to help you. Nobody likes feeling they owe anyone anything, so most of the time they will reciprocate. Doing this enough gives you not just popularity, but also a significant amount of power and influence.

Dating is all about this kind of power dynamic. If you have absolutely no clue how to do it, start by gozing where the girls are. Bars, libraries, bookstores, espresso shops, the gym, church, etc. Insert yourself into and blend with that environment. Become a regular. Let girls see you enough to become comfortable around you. Become comfortable around them yourself.

Say hello. Do the small talk thing, which I’m sure you’re fine with. As quickly as you can, engage them on their level, on their self-interest. You like to go bowling? I LOVE bowling! What else do you do? Make her chase rabbits, tell you her story. Find one thing about each new topic to ask about and keep her talking. If she asks about you, deflect. Oh, but you are so much more interesting than I am! Tell me more, what happened, etc. And if she insists on you talking more about yourself, do it. But keep it brief, bring the conversation back to her.

People are selfish, which means they like hearing themselves talk, especially about themselves and things they like. So when you get them up and running about their favorite topic, you make them feel important. When they feel important, they want to hang out with you more.

So, you hang out where girls are, you make friends...

I recommend keeping a diary. Every time you meet a girl, write down her name, contact info, her interests, and her eye color. NEVER FORGET HER EYE COLOR. I cannot emphasize enough how important this is. Remember and write down important conversation points and the last thing you talked about so you can easily pick it back up later. It may not be easy right at first, but try to meet 2 new girls every week. This could be anywhere—grocery store, Chinese restaurant, on the street...doesn’t matter. Make it your goal to meet 100 girls over the course of a year.

Once you are in regular contact with someone, after, say, 4 weeks or so, ask her out. At this point, we’re not talking about a relationship. More like, “Hey, I wish I had more time to talk, but...hey, are you free for lunch tomorrow? I’d love to pick this back up then.” I the casual thing works well for you, ask them out on date-dates. “Hey, you said you enjoy rollerskating. How about I pick you up around 6 on Friday and I’ll treat you to skating and pizza?”

So you committed to meeting 100 girls and you went on a few dates with some of them. You’re to the point you never spend the entire weekend alone.

Start narrowing your dating pool. Some girls will go out with you more than others, so maybe you have 5 you see fairly regularly. Take it down to the 3 you get along best with. Whoever you like most, if she thinks you have a good relationship together, you can talk about making it “official.” If you go on 4 consecutive dates and you aren’t seeing anyone else, you’re in great shape. If that doesn’t pan out, go to the next girl, and so on down your list until you find some good mutual chemistry with someone.

After about 3 months of this, start talking marriage and family. See if this thing has a future. If not, move on. Start over from scratch if you have to. Get your book out, review the names on the list you had the best luck with, eliminate the crazies and broken relationships. Meet more girls, add more names, see what happens. You get someone marriage-minded, then look into the finer details and make sure you’re both on the same page. In-laws (how close you want to live to them), intimacy, religion, debt (or attitudes towards debt), children, and other things like those can be dealbreakers and bring misery to your marriage. Get that straight and you’re on your way.

I know that’s the full life cycle of dating, but I think it’s worth having an idea of where you’re going if you want a solid start. Good luck!

Dating is a social activity that is a lot like fishing. You wont catch anything unless you get out there, and you wont catch something everytime you go. If you are patient and persistent (even though its difficult sometimes) you will get a bite.
Failure will be common at first, but use that analytical brain of yours to learn from your failures, and keep trying. Eventually you will notice patterns of behavior in yourself and others. Keep the good patterns, get rid of the bad. Occasionally glance at others to zee how they act around eachother. Learn what it means to be casual.
Take up a new activity in a modestly social atmosphere and make the activity your new routine...like playing pool. You can play at different places if you had to. Do it because you want to be there to do it not because you have to be the best at it. Eventually people will come to you....smile casually...learn to laugh at your faults, and compliment people on what they think they do well. Read "how to win friends and influence people." Good luck.