Will I ever get get to meet my boyfriends mom?

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I recently began dating one of my best friends of 6 years. The chemistry has been there for awhile but after other failed relationships, we realized that we had feelings for each other and decided to give it a go. He treats me way better then anyone else I've ever dated. He takes me out, texts me everyday, goes out of his way to see me even though we live in different parts of the city, remembers everything I tell him, and finds my sometimes annoying quirks cute. I have met all of his friends and he has met mine and we all get along, they are happy for us being together.

The only issue is his mom. She is pretty strict with him. I haven't met her yet, and I don't know if I ever will. She sets curfews for him and when it comes to him dating, she wants him to date someone of his own race/religion. He is black and Christian orthodox and I am white and christian, although our family is not actively practicing (I celebrate christmas and easter but have never been to church, catholic school, or read a bible). He was born and grew up in Africa for the majority of his life and so did his mom so I understand there is cultural differences. His parents are also divorced, never talks much about his dad and he lives with his mom the majority of the time.

His mom knows of me, knows we're friends, but has never met me and doesn't know we are dating now. He told me none of his ex girlfriends ever met his mom but also said he never saw them as long term relationships or had any emotional connection like he does with me. I get that his family is not the same as mine but I at least want to be involved in his life because I really care about him and I want this relationship to be serious.

Should I wait out having a discussion with him about meeting his family (and him meeting mine) or should I wait? How do I reassure him that I don't care about where he came from or his family background? (if that is an insecurity of his) We are both 18 years old and in college btw, I live on my own and he doesn't (just to give some more helpful info)

Oh man I’m so sorry. No one needs monster in laws.

I would wait until he brings it up. If you bring it up, he might feel you are pressuring him.



I'm curious: what part of Africa does he come from, or his family? I'm only asking out of curiosity. For some reason, I'm thinking Ethiopia--because of Coptic Christianity.

I'm glad he treats you well.

What are both of you studying?

He doesn't want to deal with her mouth and her s**t (and I seriously doubt it has anything to do with you; she sounds like the kind of mother who's never going to be happy with ANYONE he chooses, and he doesn't want to give her any information to have an opinion ABOUT).

Believe me. My in-laws are/were (FIL is deceased now) that kind of people. The best place for them is at the greatest distance reasonably and respectfully possible. You DON'T want them involved in your relationship; all they are going to do is try to destroy it.

He's afraid of how his mom will react & it might cause issues between him & her. Like she may stop helping him out with college or kick him out of her home or something.

Yeah I really don't want to pressure him cuz I know that may scare him away if I try to move fast, especially since he told me he wants to take things slow, its just constantly on my mind all the time. Him and his family are from Ethiopia, I met him when they came to Canada 6 years ago. I am studying occupational therapist/physiotherapist assistant program and he is doing a business program.

I'd play it cool, Anna, when it comes to his mother.

However, once you get to know each other better, maybe you could meet her some day.

One thing about African mothers----they value help in the kitchen LOL. If you help wash the dishes or something, she would appreciate that greatly. It's anti-feminism in the extreme---but this works for most non-Western mothers.

UPDATE: His mom found out he has a girlfriend (idk if she knows its me) but hasn't said anything to him about it and I'm not sure if that is good or bad. We've been doing really well otherwise and I feel included everywhere else in his life like I mentioned in the original post in this thread. I've given it a bit more time cuz it was a bit early on before. I talked to him and he said that he had told other family members about it and they were happy for him so I will probably get to meet them at least. He told me that it will be easier to introduce me to his less strict close family members first and then talk with his mom.

I wasn't sure if he was serious when he said that, but I hope he is cuz if he doesn't introduce me to anyone in the next few months or two I may have to end things. I hope it doesn't come to that because I care for him a lot and he's such a good person (aside from the mom issues) who cares for me as well.

I had an ex before who basically acted like we were exclusive but kept me hidden from a lot of people and it also happened with my other ex (both exes also said their parents didn't allow them to date anyone) and I'm scared of feeling like I'm not good enough once again. The past 2 people I dated made me feel like I was a side chick, not their girlfriend (I might have been but have no proof) and it causes me to worry a lot and use this as a huge indicator on the seriousness of a relationship.