Having trouble getting past the first date.

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Thing is a I can usually get dates, and the women seem very interested on the phone, with texting or talking. I tell them about my condition, and they always say they're okay with it. Then the first date happens, and then they meet me, and act like I have the plague. I don't see what I'm doing wrong.

If you mean autism by your condition, you don't have to tell them before the first date. Most people have some stereotypes about it and don't know what it is. Unless there's something obviously 'wrong' with you that most people would pick up on, maybe reveal it a bit later - if they already know you they likely won't apply stereotypes to you that may be completely wrong about you. It could be that they want to feel like they are nice people and therefore don't directly reject you for some condition but just let the first date go wrong instead.

Alternatively, you might do better on the phone than in person. If your conversations on the phone are not very long, maybe you're good at short conversations but seem awkward after a while if you spend more time with someone. Or maybe they expect something different than you on a first date and perceive you as too pushy or too reserved.

How tall are you? Are you short?

It’s the only physical trait that cannot be seen in pics.

First date? I need on your level

I mainly get dates based on being highly educated, and decently attractive. But, I do usually after talking to the lady for a bit disclose that I have Aspergers. Of course most have no idea what I'm talking about. They usually lead me on saying it's not a problem, and will accept me for who I am. Then comes the first date. They're all warm and friendly when we meet, even though I'm basically dying inside from anxiety. Then throughout the date, I try and be myself, and focus on her. By the end of the date, they can't wait to leave. They don't hug me ,like they did when we met, and basically treat me like a freak. Then I text them later, or what not, asking what they thought. They either lie to me ,or tell me there's something off about me that made them feel uncomfortable. I say, I told you about this, and you said it wouldn't be a problem. Then they lie some more, and I get really pissed off. This is pretty much how it goes on most dates. It's like I'm running in circles. I've even had women ask if there's a way to fix my Aspergers, and if it goes away! Lol That really pisses me off, and then I tend to lash out. It feel like I'm damn if I do, and damned if I don't. It's like no female will accept me for who I am.

Perhaps you would have better luck with women who are from other countries. They may be willing to write off some things as cultural differences. I would of gone the mail-order bride route if I had the money & resources to do it.

Stop mentioning AS to them.

I feel like if I don't mention it, they will just think I'm odd, without any context.

Maybe you could reframe it as eccentricity? Your dates don’t have to know why you are unique, at least not at first. Many people are ignorant of what asd is, so labeling it for them won’t be helpful to anyone. Good luck to you.

You didn't answer my first question because it's weird that they like you on phone and on pics, but in person they find you unattractive, something is odd.

Before we go deep into "Vibes" and "Attitudes" Mumbo jumbo and before blaming AS, you should check first the superficial things: Your height (are these girls happen to be taller than you? They usually act like how you described when it's the case), your clothes, your haircut and your smell. Women are as visual as men, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar liar liar.

Maybe they said it won't be a problem because they honestly think so before they meet you? You know, maybe they've only heard about the term or make a quick search on google, check some things out and think "I can live with that" yet when they meet you face to face they realize that it is not what they thought it was. And I don't think it's wrong to ask if it's fixable or if it goes away with time; it simply shows that they don't really know anything about the subject and, maybe, that they would like to give you a chance but the idea that you'll always be the way they've already seen you be scares them somehow.

Also, the fact that they like your pictures and you on the phone yet not in person could be about body language. Maybe your bodylanguage is so unusual in one way or another that it makes women feel uncomfortable? That could be what they mean with something being "off about you", yet they can't tell what that something is since NTs don't usually think about that stuff, it comes to them automatically and when someone doesn't meet their expectations they feel like something is wrong, but can't point out what.

You can if it’s a full body photo.

OP, it’s probably aspergers struggles with communication, body language and seeming uncomfortable. Not uncommon.

No the girls are always shorter than me. I'm around 5'10". They tell me it's has to do with my social awkwardness, and not looks.

No you can't , unless your are posing next to other people.

Well, if they are telling you that then that's your answer; we can't tell what's going wrong if it's not filmed.

But social awkwardness is easily exposed on phone, so you are passing the phone test but not face to face? I find this odd honestly.

I don't see anything odd in it... I mean if the problem is body language then it's a clear case; that can't be seen when talking in phone but will be seen in person. He also didn't mention how long the talks over the phone are or if the subjects they talk about are different. Maybe he can appear more "normal" in a short conversation or with a different subject. I know I can.

Also, while you can't tell exactly how tall someone is from pictures alone, you can get a rough idea of it by looking at the person in the picture and the objects in it around him/her. If someone is really short or really tall then it is noticable.