How can I be a good boyfriend?

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I was watching this video on Youtube that said women want a competent partner. The guy in the video also talked about reciprocation. That's fair enough. If I expect her to do stuff for me it's only fair that I should do stuff for her.

So how can I be a competent man? How can I reciprocate for the things she's done for me? In short, what do girls want in a boyfriend?

I thought I should just ask her but asking might make me seem too timid and doubtful. Also, she likes surprises but if I ask her what I should do and I do it, it will no longer be a surprise.

Buy her the pink headphones

get along with her family and friends (BIG plus). ask her how her day went regardless of how much you really care. and if you do, make sure to show it.

just be a good friend, and you're already over halfway there.

It really does not need in depth analysis. Don’t be a dick. Treat her like you would want to be treated.

I get that. But I not only want to be a good boyfriend, I also want to be a competent man. I want to look like I know what I'm doing, both in my life and in my relationships.

If you treat people like you want to be treated, you’ll be competent.

The only way I can think of would be to avoid showing extremes of emotion (anger, despair, panic) in front of her, but if you feel that way you might suffer long term by hiding your feelings. I do mean extremes not all emotions. People who appear to be in control of their reactions (to difficulties) are usually seen as more competent at life.

What enlightened women (and men) want is someone to be their best friend. Don't worry about what the other women want.

I'm not prone to outbursts of anger. I'm more worried about showing self-doubt or second guessing my own decisions. That might make me look less competent.

Best advice: actually listen to her. Dont pretend to. Commnuncation is the cornerstone and also lack of the greatest destroyer

True. I just worry that if I have to ask her stuff it means she'll think I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I'm just being paranoid but one time she said I "don't know how to love". A previous girlfriend said "It's like I have to teach you how to be a boyfriend".

The biggest thing is to find out what she likes and give it to her: in my wife's case she loves having her feet rubbed: if I that she practically turns to putty. It has also been my experience that many women hate surprises (at least the ones I dated) and the best course of action is to ask her directly what she likes. This would put you ahead of the crowd instantly.

Oh no she loves surprises but spontaneity is not one of my strengths

What she likes is food and cuddling. She's obsessed with food and she wants me to stay in bed and cuddle her for most of the morning. The trouble is I like to wake up early.

I've herd some NT females say this about their NT partners as well.

I think it just depends on the couple. To me a good boyfriend would play video games with me, occasionally go out as well, on very rare occasions cook as I enjoy cooking, find hobbies we can do together, but my partner needs up being my special interest so its pretty full on and intense.

Being a good boyfriend will never be easy.

However, whenever you find yourself a girlfriend, always be open and honest with her. Communication is key to a healthy relationship.

Never come off as a clingy type. Being clingy {and expressing similar behaviors} will be a big turn off for her.