Helpful but straight to the point advice

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Although it’s really just repeating what people here are constantly saying to people like sly and markins.

If you can read this, accept it and take action, you’ll come out a better person. I was in a terrible state of anxiety this afternoon about my social issues, then read this and am now on an even keel again.

It might help some others.

https://edlatimore.com/no-one-gives-a-shit/

Here are a few sections which I found particularly powerful:

One might not get “everything they want”—but one will surely get more than what one has at present.

Just because 80% of a certain group doesn’t have something—doesn’t mean that YOU can’t have something.

Throw the statistics in the garbage/rubbish bin.

Thumbs up smiley goes here.

Never been on a date, but I only have myself to blame. I have been in love a few times, but relationships are scary and I am not developed enough to manage such a task even though I often daydream and fantasize about being in a relationship. I just remember that I am broken and become sad from time to time and try to forget those types of aspirations.

My knowledge is limited, but I think it's important to remember some advice may work/apply for some but not others. We all have our own unique situations and what might work for you may not apply to me. Please excuse me now while I run away and become consumed by those who judge me.

The struggles are definitely real, I’d say the majority of the people here gave had a pretty hard life. This article helped me realise that it’s not just me who is alone and fighting, it is most people. We just have to apply ourselves and modify our lifestyle to make drastic changes.

I am glad it helped you and I hope it will help others. I'm sure it will.

The only prerequisite for being in a relationship is being a good person who is willing to listen to the other person. I've known of a few relationships where both partners have little money. But they have each other. It's a stressful situation to be constantly broke---but if two people love each other, they can overcome the stress.

Why do you feel you can't be in a relationship, Blackicmenace?

Kraftie is the moment blackicmenace is going to try to get a girlfriend the moment you are going to say stop trying to get a girlfriend, and then the moment he doesn't believe in himself again you say, try to get a girlfriend?

I have gotten to the point where I believe the meaning of life is to be quiet and endure life lesson lectures the rest of your life. I don't feel happy about it.

God, I don't think I can stop being mentally ill my entire life.

I don't believe in not striving to get a girlfriend. I believe people should strive for love.

But I don't believe in it being the only thought in a person's mind. It was the only thought in mine for quite a while when I was young. Girls ran away from me as a result.

I always say: Always keep your desire for a girlfriend in the "back burner." Pursue your interests; maybe a girl might be interested in what you're interested in. And see girls as being "friends," rather than "lovers."

The shortest, simplest answer to that question is I am not relationship material.

WTF? Why not?

Even Quasimodo is relationship material. Some girls like guys who are contemplative while ringing church bells.

As long as you don't stink to high heaven, and you don't yell at the drop of a hat, you're "relationship material."

I appreciate your enthusiasm kraftie. You're a great guy, those around you are lucky people. Unfortunately, not everything can be fixed. However, I thank you for the effort.

I wish you weren't so convinced, Sir.....

Maybe, at this point, you're "not ready."

But if you work at it, perhaps in small increments, maybe you'll get to the point where you are "ready."

You're certainly a cool person here on WP. I bet at least a couple of the chicks here like you....

Holy crow, this is it. Right here. Why is this so difficult?

What you want is reciprocity. People are by nature SELFISH. As long as you value something, altruism is absurd. Doing something "out of the goodness of your heart" is absolutely foolish. You invest in people because 1) You value them, if for nothing else at least for their potential, and 2) the hope of getting something in return. This absolutely DOES WORK. People are selfish, so you cater to their desires, their self-interest. They are rewarded for and through their self-interest. When they want a reward, knowing you'll reward that self-interest, they will seek you out. In order to continue receiving that reward, they will do whatever you ask. It is wise to help people out if you know they'd help you in return sooner or later. It is foolish to continue to help people who refuse to bring anything to the table.

Once you figure out you can get what you want by investing in the self-interest of others, things will get easier for you. If you don't feed that self-interest, they will ignore you.

It's all Ayn Rand, Dale Carnegie, and Jesus stuff.

I’m really not into the Dale Carnegie, Norman Vincent Peale stuff.

I’m into reality. I’m not a positive thinker at all. I am a Wolfman thinker. I know women like the “little wolf” in men.

Can't see the attraction in a worldview that ultimately considers everyone around me to be either an appliance to be used, or a patsy to be duped, but never an equal to be respected and loved.

Can't see any humanity in such an approach; only arid, solipsistic isolation.

But it's late; I'm tired; perhaps this will look different in the morning.