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Loner269
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14 Jan 2018, 4:05 pm

What do you consider to be too fat that you'd want to date/have sex with? I am sitting somewhere near 30% body fat with clear beer belly, love handles and man boobs, would this be too much? For me, I don't mind a bit extra weight,I'd say the limit is when their belly is clearly drooping a lot and size XXL is beginning to feel tight.



hale_bopp
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14 Jan 2018, 6:49 pm

Anyone can date. I know obese people in both genders who are in relationships. For me, I guess as long as they can walk and do all of the normal things I cannot see it as that much of an issue.



honeymiel
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14 Jan 2018, 8:22 pm

I read some research a while back that women tend to be a lot more forgiving of extra weight on a guy than guys are for extra weight on a girl. If you look like you've got health problems (not just an extra layer) or can't sit/stand/move properly because of the extra weight, that's about when it starts to become an issue. But if you're just a bit husky? Nbd. I find guys with extra weight tend to carry it a bit less obviously than women anyway (or maybe that's social conditioning) - I think since men tend to have more muscle, extra body fat will just sit on top

I don't think there's such a thing as "too fat to date" until you've actually got legitimate health issues and/or difficulty getting intimate. But there is such a thing as being too self-conscious to date, or having unrealistic expectations for a partner. I've known some fairly out of shape women who were adamant that their man had to have six pack abs or close to it...that's a bit mismatched when you look at the kind of lifestyles either person would like to live.

Dress yourself well and take care of your hygiene/grooming and I don't think you'll have an issue.



kraftiekortie
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14 Jan 2018, 8:37 pm

I second what Honey has said.



sly279
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15 Jan 2018, 2:19 am

honeymiel wrote:
I read some research a while back that women tend to be a lot more forgiving of extra weight on a guy than guys are for extra weight on a girl. If you look like you've got health problems (not just an extra layer) or can't sit/stand/move properly because of the extra weight, that's about when it starts to become an issue. But if you're just a bit husky? Nbd. I find guys with extra weight tend to carry it a bit less obviously than women anyway (or maybe that's social conditioning) - I think since men tend to have more muscle, extra body fat will just sit on top

I don't think there's such a thing as "too fat to date" until you've actually got legitimate health issues and/or difficulty getting intimate. But there is such a thing as being too self-conscious to date, or having unrealistic expectations for a partner. I've known some fairly out of shape women who were adamant that their man had to have six pack abs or close to it...that's a bit mismatched when you look at the kind of lifestyles either person would like to live.

Dress yourself well and take care of your hygiene/grooming and I don't think you'll have an issue.

They must not used any women in Oregon in their research then. They all want thin athletic guys not chubby fat guys. Even the super obese women.



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15 Jan 2018, 2:38 am

sly279 wrote:
honeymiel wrote:
I read some research a while back that women tend to be a lot more forgiving of extra weight on a guy than guys are for extra weight on a girl. If you look like you've got health problems (not just an extra layer) or can't sit/stand/move properly because of the extra weight, that's about when it starts to become an issue. But if you're just a bit husky? Nbd. I find guys with extra weight tend to carry it a bit less obviously than women anyway (or maybe that's social conditioning) - I think since men tend to have more muscle, extra body fat will just sit on top

I don't think there's such a thing as "too fat to date" until you've actually got legitimate health issues and/or difficulty getting intimate. But there is such a thing as being too self-conscious to date, or having unrealistic expectations for a partner. I've known some fairly out of shape women who were adamant that their man had to have six pack abs or close to it...that's a bit mismatched when you look at the kind of lifestyles either person would like to live.

Dress yourself well and take care of your hygiene/grooming and I don't think you'll have an issue.

They must not used any women in Oregon in their research then. They all want thin athletic guys not chubby fat guys. Even the super obese women.


Chubby guys have more cuddle potential....some women like that.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Jan 2018, 3:06 am

Maybe not but your dating pool would certainly shrink.



sly279
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15 Jan 2018, 3:30 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
sly279 wrote:
honeymiel wrote:
I read some research a while back that women tend to be a lot more forgiving of extra weight on a guy than guys are for extra weight on a girl. If you look like you've got health problems (not just an extra layer) or can't sit/stand/move properly because of the extra weight, that's about when it starts to become an issue. But if you're just a bit husky? Nbd. I find guys with extra weight tend to carry it a bit less obviously than women anyway (or maybe that's social conditioning) - I think since men tend to have more muscle, extra body fat will just sit on top

I don't think there's such a thing as "too fat to date" until you've actually got legitimate health issues and/or difficulty getting intimate. But there is such a thing as being too self-conscious to date, or having unrealistic expectations for a partner. I've known some fairly out of shape women who were adamant that their man had to have six pack abs or close to it...that's a bit mismatched when you look at the kind of lifestyles either person would like to live.

Dress yourself well and take care of your hygiene/grooming and I don't think you'll have an issue.

They must not used any women in Oregon in their research then. They all want thin athletic guys not chubby fat guys. Even the super obese women.


Chubby guys have more cuddle potential....some women like that.

Thin athletic guys can do activists and are sexually attractive, Curtis they ok to cuddle as well.
My experience and what women post from my area is no one wants a chubby guy.



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15 Jan 2018, 5:29 am

I don't think there's such a things as "too fat to date", but if someone is clearly over weight then most of the time the number of people that will become attracted to them will shrink. This goes like this for both men and women, though from what I've seen slightly chubby men seem to have better chances at finding a partner than slightly chubby women. Might just be my area though... and of course it's also possible that I, as a single straight woman, pay more attention to the men around me than the women. :lol:

As for my personal opinion of how fat a man can be for me to consider dating him... well, if he's clearly obese and has trouble with very basic activities because of it then he's out, even if he is a good guy. I would prefer a normal weight guy, but if our personalities matched then slight chubbiness/over weight isn't a deal breaker.



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15 Jan 2018, 7:38 am

My girlfriend is pretty big & I am concerned about her health but it's not just cuz of her weight. She was born big & has always been big. She has depression & anxiety issues & eating is like a coping mechanism for her. She also has fibromyalgia which makes it hard for her to exercise. I gained alot of weight since we moved in together but that's cuz I started eating 3 meals a day due to meds & supplements I take. I used to just eat one meal a day & pigout but I'm still pigging out for lunch & I binge eat on snacks sometimes. I really need to start exercising more & binge eating less which I'm starting to work on but it's hard changing habits. Anyways... I would consider someone to big for me to date if she has major problems taking care of herself because of of her weight. Like if she can barely walk around & expects me to feed her meals all the time like some of the people on My 600 Pound Life.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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15 Jan 2018, 9:00 am

I think as long as you're willing to date someone the same size as you or a bit bigger, you'll be fine. It's when you're fat and you wouldn't date someone as fat as you, or when your preference is for someone much slimmer than you that a problem may arise.



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15 Jan 2018, 1:30 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I think as long as you're willing to date someone the same size as you or a bit bigger, you'll be fine. It's when you're fat and you wouldn't date someone as fat as you, or when your preference is for someone much slimmer than you that a problem may arise.


Most overweight people I see with overweight partners are in the minority. I think the reality for non aspies is average people aren’t as shallow, or the men have other aspects which make up for them being overweight.:shrug:

I’d never select a partner based on “how fat I am”, because being fat really isn’t a big issue for me in myself or men. I’m a normal sized woman. I don’t mind overweight men. There is more to someone than their weight.



The Grand Inquisitor
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15 Jan 2018, 2:10 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I think as long as you're willing to date someone the same size as you or a bit bigger, you'll be fine. It's when you're fat and you wouldn't date someone as fat as you, or when your preference is for someone much slimmer than you that a problem may arise.


Most overweight people I see with overweight partners are in the minority. I think the reality for non aspies is average people aren’t as shallow, or the men have other aspects which make up for them being overweight.:shrug:

I’d never select a partner based on “how fat I am”, because being fat really isn’t a big issue for me in myself or men. I’m a normal sized woman. I don’t mind overweight men. There is more to someone than their weight.

And most overweight people I see who are coupled do have overweight partners, or they're alone/not in a couple. Completely anecdotal.

I don't think it's shallow to want a non-overweight partner if you look after your weight, just as it wouldn't be shallow to want to be with someone who has a job if you have a job. It's all about reciprocation and compatible lifestyles. It's when you expect 'more' from a potential partner than you bring to the relationship that you might encounter a problem.

I'm not even recommending that an overweight person not try with average-weight people, but I feel that if you don't see your own weight/size as acceptable for a potential partner to be, why should you expect other people to accept you at that size? Accounting for dimorphism of course.

Have you considered that as an average-weight person who doesn't mind overweight guys, it might be you who is in the minority? Most people want to be physically attracted to their partners, and it's generally accepted that being overweight makes you less attractive. Average-weight people tend not to shoot down other average-weight people for being average-weight. It's a much more common occurrence to be shot down when you're overweight though. As Boo said, it tends to decrease your dating pool.

I could be coming from a biased place though as someone with body insecurities.



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15 Jan 2018, 2:33 pm

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And most overweight people I see who are coupled do have overweight partners, or they're alone/not in a couple. Completely anecdotal.

I don't think it's shallow to want a non-overweight partner if you look after your weight, just as it wouldn't be shallow to want to be with someone who has a job if you have a job. It's all about reciprocation and compatible lifestyles. It's when you expect 'more' from a potential partner than you bring to the relationship that you might encounter a problem.

I'm not even recommending that an overweight person not try with average-weight people, but I feel that if you don't see your own weight/size as acceptable for a potential partner to be, why should you expect other people to accept you at that size? Accounting for dimorphism of course.

Have you considered that as an average-weight person who doesn't mind overweight guys, it might be you who is in the minority? Most people want to be physically attracted to their partners, and it's generally accepted that being overweight makes you less attractive. Average-weight people tend not to shoot down other average-weight people for being average-weight. It's a much more common occurrence to be shot down when you're overweight though. As Boo said, it tends to decrease your dating pool.

I could be coming from a biased place though as someone with body insecurities.


Someone’s worth is not about their weight, in my opinion. I have no expectations of my partner being of similar weight to me, because we may be equal in other ways, he might be better than me in other ways.

It’s not all about looks. Who says you can’t be sexually attracted to someone who has extra weight? I think you’ll find a lot of women feel the same. They have no problem with someone chubby.

[Generalisation]it’s about confidence and social skills for women more than weight.

Clearly looks matter, but to be honest with you most people are average looking, not hideous looking.

Chubby average looking guys with great social skills and a good personality, they’ll be fine.



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15 Jan 2018, 6:14 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I think as long as you're willing to date someone the same size as you or a bit bigger, you'll be fine. It's when you're fat and you wouldn't date someone as fat as you, or when your preference is for someone much slimmer than you that a problem may arise.


Most overweight people I see with overweight partners are in the minority. I think the reality for non aspies is average people aren’t as shallow, or the men have other aspects which make up for them being overweight.:shrug:

I’d never select a partner based on “how fat I am”, because being fat really isn’t a big issue for me in myself or men. I’m a normal sized woman. I don’t mind overweight men. There is more to someone than their weight.


I see lots of obese big women with thin or average guys and a ton of thin women with thin guys but thin women with big guys is a tiny amount in in most those cases the guy makes good money. I mean women and men who are twice my size but shorter.
Most women here even fat women demand a thin guy and it seems a lot of them are getting one. Guys should equally demanding but they’re not.