Why I think I would be a good love partner

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I try to be as authentic as possible.

I am not concerned with trends or trying to "keep up with the Joneses".

I accept people for who they are if they do the same for me.

I don't judge a person's worth on their sexual orientation or if they want to pursue a career that makes them happy instead of working themselves to death.

Unfortunately, I live in an area where having these ideas is considered "weird" or even dangerous.

I think you would be a good love partner, too

But you have to get rid of the desperation. You really do. It won't get you anywhere with a person. People fear it.

This is the most self-affirming post I've seen from you, Marknis, I was very glad to see it
I reckon developing this kind of understanding of your self-worth will show through in how you interact with others and make all the difference.

To Kraftie:

Just please understand why I felt so desperate in the first place. The people my parents associated with as well as the general rough culture I grew up in damaged me on so many levels. The guys who were getting all the girls were the iron pumping alpha jocks and it made me scared that I was doomed to forever loneliness.

To MrsPeel:

Thank you. I just hope someone will eventually notice me.

I experienced pretty much the same thing, Marknis. All the jocks and musclemen and assorted other idiots getting all the girls--some of whom were redneck-like.

And I was desperate, too.

So I do understand, perhaps more than you think I understand.

Good on you. It’s great to hear you talking like this. Much respect. Keep it up.

Kraftiekortie, be thankful you did not have to grow up in the south. It is not easy to fight against the prevailing currents of ignorance.

You would be surprised how much ignorance was around me.

Many of the attitudes Marknis has encountered---I have encountered in Queens. Queens was a very provincial area in the 20th century. There were times when I was "banned" from certain neighborhoods because I am Jewish. People loved to drink beer in Queens, too. And smoke. And beat up on women. Just like in the South. There were many racists in Queens, too. You would be surprised.

I didn't grow up in Manhattan. I grew up in Queens. It's like the difference between growing up in Austin and growing up in some hokum hick town. Some people from Queens can be as "redneck" as the worst redneck in the South.

Queens is a very multicultural area these days. But in the 1960s and 1970s, there were "black" and "white areas," just like the South.

I understand we all have our own unique experiences and was not discounting your own.

They will.
Without meaning to sound pushy, have you thought about changing your avatar? Many girls will go for the sensitive look, but fewer for the more obviously wounded, I think. "Wounded but healing, and gathering internal strength" might be where you're at
Just a thought, anyway. Best of luck.

I used to be that "desperate" guy whom women avoided like the Plague.

I've had women say "ewww!" right to my face.

I know that feeling very well. I was a pariah in high school. No girl would touch me with a ten-foot pole. Most guys, too.

If you watch "Saturday Night Fever," you will see the kind of kids with whom I grew up. Not exactly intellectuals! LOL

It took place in Brooklyn. But many of these same sorts of kids lived in Queens, too.

On the plus side you got to live in New York City. Down here if you have an original thought in your head it must be satan because sky cake solves all of life's riddles.

It can get pretty close to that in Queens, actually LOL

I concede Queens is not the South. But it can get pretty close to it at times.

Even though my mother later became a psychotherapist, she was a stay-at-home mother in the 1960s, then became a secretary in the 1970s. She wasn't an "intellectual presence" by any means.

My father was a businessman who followed what other businessmen said, including their views on race. Their views on race were not progressive. They weren't into lynching---but the stereotypes just oozed out of their mouths.

They would not have been delighted had I bought a black or Puerto Rican kid home for dinner.

I learned about the "New York intellectual" from TV shows.

I got more of the "Don't come near me" scowl but it still hurts either way. I actually didn't know I had Aspergers until high school was almost over and no one really taught me the required social skills for courtship. Bible Belt culture revolves around "Just f*****g do it!" instead of something more realistic like "Learn what you need to do first." which was something I needed to hear.



I thought about changing the avatar but I've been really indecisive about it. I definitely feel wounded but I hope it's not permanent.



I remember being told by a coach in PE class "The devil tells you that you need a girlfriend to be happy." Really?
Then why do some priests molest little boys?

Now here's the positive topic that I've been waiting for! Just keep that way of thinking at the front of your mind and it should help with your self esteem. Hopefully with other things, too.

Maybe it's an NT thing instead of a Bible Belt thing. I mean NTs often learn things by doing them and watching the example of others. Learning the rules and ways of how things are done before actually trying to do them is more common for autistic people, isn't it?