Strained Marriage

Post Reply New Topic

So the main problem I am having is understanding my S/O emotions.
It’s nigh impossible for me to see her position in emotional situations. Of course this makes her feel as if I don’t care. I really don’t know what to do, my life is much better with her than without.

In addition, I have a hard time with small talk, apparently that’s important. My main struggle is knowing what to say or react in certain situations. I.e- Asking about her day and asking relevant questions.
She has told me a few times I don’t care about what she goes through each day or what was interesting to her. Admittedly I often don’t genuinely care about them, I do care however that she cares about this.

Sorry, a bit long winded, just looking for any advice that can potentially help my situation.
Relationships and such have always been extraordinarily difficult for me.

What kind of struggles does your wife go through?

What kind of struggles do you go through?

Does your wife understand why you struggle? Half the battles might be avoided if it's understood that you aren't behaving this way intentionally. Small talk can be fun, can build on intimacy, but it's not essential. What truly matters is that you both make each other aware of how much you mean to one another. "Use your words" as they say, but also simply "Do" for each other. Show you care for each other by being there for each other when you're down or unwell. Spend time together "doing", watching a movie, playing games, going on adventures, sharing hobbies/interests, planning the future together. Dreaming together... All relationships, marriages and/or friendships, can have their good and their bad times, but so long as you remain committed to each other, and let each other know that no matter what, you've got their back, and will continue to work on issues that arise, then that should count for something. It's coming through the hard times and out the other side, longevity, and showing each other how you feel, that matters. Even if it means asking your wife what she needs to hear, what words make her feel the most connected to you, if finding the right words is a struggle. Never forget those words and use them. If she likes a paricular flower or rose, or anything simple, yet symbolic of your history together, maybe surprise her with this occasionally, hopefully she'll reciprocate. It's the little things than mean so much more than the bigger things... Life and love can be snatched out from under you when you least expect it. Never stop making an effort.