Been single since high school, graduated in 2006

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MayBanAsp87
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14 Jan 2018, 10:00 pm

Hello everyone,

My name is Brent,

I am 30 and am originally from Texas, I moved out to Northern California around 2013 and have been here ever since (I live with my older half brother), I have been on dates, I usually get about 2 dates in before the girl stops replying to my text/messages or tell me they don't want to see my anymore, I have literally been on every dating site out there paid and free sites, I was sort of dating this one girl when I first came out here, we saw each other off and on for a long time and it just never went anywhere, I could tell she wanted more out of our relationship but we just never talked about it and she eventually gave up and stopped talking to me and, is now married after meeting the right guy for her, I regret never trying to move forward with her, she was kind of my perfect opposite, she got me out of my comfort zone, got me socializing and meeting new people and she never left me feeling left out or running off and she was just as happy hanging out in at my or her place as she was out and about plus she actually seemed to like me for me, but I just never really felt like she was someone who I wanted to be in a relationship with, she was sweet, and smart, and all and I enjoyed her company but I just never got to that point.

Anyways she was the closest thing I have had to a GF the whole time (pathetic I know), all the other girls I have met where through online dating and one Meetup.com thing (she was an older woman, very sexy, single, no kids, laid back), she was fun, but as soon as she found out about our age gap she stopped talking to me, I have had no luck dating for years as you can see, and I don't know what goes wrong really, most of these girls have been most likely NT and Cali girls so they are far different then Texas girls, the few girls who I met that are more nerdy and the like are much easier to talk to and get along with, but no one is really warm and inviting here, at least not to me anyways.

Anyways, I feel like I am going on to long now, I am posting this mainly to see if there are any known Aspie dating sites and or groups/websites that would make it easier for Aspies to connect to one another for romantic purposes, or even just free alternative dating sites other Aspies have had luck with.

P.s. Also I am super nerdy, and a IT guy so those factors probably don't really help me either lol,

Your replies are much appreciated and looking forward to seeing your responses,

Brent



sly279
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15 Jan 2018, 2:23 am

I also graduated in 2006. But I’ve never had a second date and been alone since birth. Probably became interested in girls at 10 so been alone unwanted for 20 years.

How’d you get dates and second dates? I haven had a date in 5 years.



MayBanAsp87
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15 Jan 2018, 3:10 am

sly279 wrote:
I also graduated in 2006. But I’ve never had a second date and been alone since birth. Probably became interested in girls at 10 so been alone unwanted for 20 years.

How’d you get dates and second dates? I haven had a date in 5 years.


Well when I get dates I am usually just as surprised lol, and there are large breaks in between,

But honestly it has been lots of trail and error, learning what works and what doesn't, but as I mentioned I am a huge nerd and socially awkward, I usually try to go on dates that keeps both people busy and/or gives us something to talk about automatically (i.e. movies, museums, etc.) I don't do to well when I have to keep up meaningless chit chat I quickly run out of things to talk about or I just keep talking about the same topic making them feel uncomfortable or awkward, it has been my experience any signs of weakness (confidence, self-esteem, etc.) usually makes a girl lose interest fast which is what I think my problem is plus they probably realize that we don't really have anything to talk about, most girls are not into the things I am into, but if I could meet a girl who was into a lot of the same things I was it would make it so much easier to not run out of things to talk about and it would also be nice if they could have their own interest they could focus on as well and be somewhat independent as I will definitely want my alone time and personal space as well.

But one girl said after our second date that she just wasn't feeling a connection (at least she actually told me something though), another girl said that she didn't think we had as much in common as she originally thought, and most of the rest just stopped replying to text, it used to really bother me but now I don't really care as much, but one thing I know does not work for me is the typical walk up and start chatting a girl up thing, I don't have charisma and swagger and am not very witty especially when talking to normal girls, again I have had far more luck talking to nerdy girls as they typically are less judgemental and actually are interested in some of the things I am, and they actually seem interesting and intelligent, unlike an average girl/woman, thankfully because I have always been somewhat talkative and my job forces me to deal with people I have learned to be more "normal" when need be but it is exhausting to keep that up which is why I generally try to keep those conversations brief, but I was always labeled as weird growing up and never felt like I quiet fit in with most people but my fellow nerds and weirdos have always been more of an accepting bunch so those are typically the type of people I stick to and am usually friends with, but I also have issues maintaining those friendships especially as I get older and people get married or have kids and have their own lives, plus people try to invite me to do things but generally I don't really feel like it, or even if I do go I usually don't enjoy myself, and they eventually stop inviting me.

But I digress, I have gotten way off the point now lol, I hope at least part of what I wrote helps..



CubsBullsBears
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24 Jan 2018, 12:53 am

Three words: Match.com

Yes, I'm 17, but I'm looking at this as you having an advantage that I don't.

Get on there and find someone.


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