Advice on dating?

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Hi,
I’m new here. And I have a friend with Aspergers, or somewhat more than a friend. We’ve been dating off and on for the past 16 months. I’m always the one to end it, because he never commits to me, always says he will never love me and it will never work, that we aren’t really dating. But he never lets me go, whenever I break up with him, he starts it back up again, so we always end up back together. Two weeks ago, we started dating again. I love him and I accept that he’s different. But I can’t keep doing this if he’s actually never going to commit.
He says he misses me when I’m not around, that he doesn’t sleep well when I’m not with him and that he wants me to move in with him. He is affectionate with me, and he acts like he loves me, and even needs me, but tells me the opposite.

I know all aspies are different, but is this common? Maybe no one will know the answer to this, but is there anything I can do, or am just I chasing something unattainable? Is there something I’m doing wrong, or not doing? Or is this whole relationship just going to eventually distroy me?

I feel under-qualified to respond, but will add my opinion for what its worth.

Lots of folks on the spectrum wish they could get closer to someone relationship-wise but might struggle to express that. But actually voicing discouraging signals, I struggle to put meaning to that.

There may be more to it than face value, after all, I've heard that phrase "behaviour is communication", and I'm left wondering what underlying truth he may be trying to communicate.

Still, for the relationship to have long term prospects, there will come a point where he has to honour the relationship with commitment and effort of his own, in order to continue deserving your commitment and effort. It's ok and probably the best move to spell out some guidelines as to what you will and won't stick around for.

Perhaps he needs to reexamine his approach, what he's got now and what he'll miss if his behaviour doesn't support your sticking around.

Wishing you both all the best with this.

He wants you to be his FWB.

Thanks everyone.
He responds well to compliments.

However he is very persistent in saying that I don’t love him. He always says I’m wrong, and that I obviously don’t love him. I usually try not to express my feelings towards him. It always results in him either withdrawing from me for a few hours or an argument where he’s trying to convince me that I don’t feel that way at all.

Starting to sound like insecurity..

Has a professional gone through the detail of this with you two?

I bet my psychologist would have more to add on this.

Because it's a recurring theme for adults on the spectrum, she runs relationship programs. I wish you were close enough that I could recommend you attend those.