What is 'success' to you?

Post Reply New Topic

I think I might have asked something similar a few years ago, but I'd like to see what the current gang here think about this.

If you were to refer to someone who is 'successful' in love & dating, what do you mean?
Can get dates?
Can get sex?
Is currently dating someone?
Is in a long-term relationship?
Is happy with their situation?
Something else?

I know that different people have different ideas of what it means to have success. For example, I think of myself as successful and that's why I try to offer my advice and insight here, but there are people who disagree that I am because their notion of success is different to mine.

So I'm curious to know your viewpoint on this.

To seduce you into my bed.

<—— ⌐■-■

Fulfilling your natural goal as a living being—passing your genes on to the next generation, rather than letting them be weeded out. Not that I think I have the slightest chance at all, since it basically requires everything in yellowtamarin’s list, except being happy with your situation, and each of those points by itself seems well beyond my reach. On the other hand, being happy with my situation would only mean I’ve given up for good. I’d rather die trying, no matter how miserable it made me.

Of course, knowing how to try would help a lot. Not being officially declared mentally defective, and hence, presumably, already disqualified for reproducing and even for any kind of intimate relationship, would, too.

Is happy in their situation.

A relationship doesn't necessarily equal "success."

I'm in a marriage---I feel "half successful."

Interesting. So I'm curious - do you feel that people who don't want to (and don't) procreate can never be deemed successful? Do you value the opinions/advice of such people here in the forum, or are they not of much use to you? That is, perhaps they have advice on how to get a date, but as their end goal is not success in your eyes, does that change the value of their advice on getting dates?

Just being honestly comfortable around someone.

When I think of success I think of someone who is content with their lives and how it is progressing, despite any shortcomings.

I don't think how someone relates to others is what necessarily makes them successful.

Some people dream of being beautiful, being famous, being rich, being emotionally stable or even just being able to wake up with a fully functioning body.

Success really is in the eye of the beholder

As far as I am concerned, what they have doesn’t count as success. It should go without saying I don’t expect them to care about my definition of success.



I value them when they shed some light on any of the huge number of issues I’d have to deal with in order to achieve what I want. This is the case almost as often as with opinions or advice from people who do have children for two reasons:

1) Most people who don’t have children do still achieve most if not all of the partial goals I’d need to accomplish and which seem all but impossible to me.

2) Most people who do have children rely on having made a lot of accomplishments at a young age that I didn’t, so it’s way too late for me to follow any semblance of their steps.

This said, I’m not interested in advice on getting into any kind of relationship known in advance to preclude having children. One-night stands would be fine as long as noöne has to cheat on anyone and I don’t have to choose between them and a long-term relationship with the possibility of having children. Needless to say, to me, this is like talking about what I’d do if I won the lottery: completely useless, because it won’t happen.

After reproducing, you’ve really fulfilled all of your biological purpose, so there’s nothing left except to wait for death. So, yeah, I’d have to agree that passing the old genes down is the best objective measure of success.

It’s just different for everyone. For me it’s about the LDR. Marriage and family is the ultimate goal. Well...I have that...so now my focus is more on creating a legacy. Molding and shaping my kids into my image before they fly the nest. It’s not that I’m confident of absolute and total success but rather trying my best and getting as far as I can with them.

I think I’d like to live long enough to see my grandchildren get married.

certainly something i feel like i'm missing.

i really wanted children, until i realized i could not have any and i now don't care anymore. i may achieve a lot on my own, but i still will have made a far smaller impact on the world that someone who continued his bloodline.

To be successful in love in dating they’d have to be in a long ter, relationship since that’s the end goal of dating.

Depends on what they want. For a normal person, being incapable of dating and sex is usually a pretty unsuccessful situation.

You can't have any due to a biological issue or the idea scares you?

I would say someone who's able to get what they want easily weather it's just getting laid, getting lots of dates, having a long term realtionship or something else.

How long is a piece of string?

It all depends on the person, for some it is money, cars yada yada. For me it is having a good life, a nice job that you look forward go to the next day and no or little worries.

I think it depends on the butt shape.