Men and Woman aren't compatible. How to find a compromise?

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For a while I though I could just have relationship with woman because man are so hard to deal with but I honestly feel more attracted to guys... but at the same time, it is so hard to deal. We really want and function in a very very different way, and I always end up hurt even when they are trying their best to be nice to me.

ok actually i feel i can't express myself well... but like, how do people end up in good relationships? how woman deal with the fact that man are often less emotional and feel attraction towards other woman/??

I don't think men and women as a whole aren't compatible. I think people on the spectrum are less likely to be romantically compatible with other people.

but a lot of media/common sense says woman want something and man another

You basically find that person who's about the same level of f***ed up as you are.

And I'm only slightly kidding. Birds of a feather and all...

i'm sorry but i didn't understood

Yeah, this. Not all men are created equal, so you can try to find one who is similar to you.

I'm not a typical female, and I've dated men more emotional than me (and more emotional than the typical male). You just* have to shop around to find a suitable guy.

*says the most fussy woman on the planet, who can't find anyone quite suitable enough

Also, if you date gay women, you might find they tend to be less emotional than the average female anyway (and they can feel attraction towards other women too), so you might not find what you are after there either.

What is it that you want, exactly?

I think the solution is for both people to lower their expectations of each other & of what they want & try to compromise. There is NO such thing as a perfect person because there is always a chance of finding/meeting someone better but at some point you have to settle for the best you can get or spend the rest of your life on a futile search

i want to be able to understand what my partner is thinking/feeling

And that's why I say to find someone who is like you.

Have you ever met couples who finish each others sentences? Like they seem to share a brain? That's partly why. When you meet someone who is very much like you, they have a lot of the same likes, the same thoughts about things, you won't necessarily ALWAYS know what they're thinking, but you'll have a pretty good idea, because YOU'll already be thinking the same thing.

It's also helpful to find someone who is fairly open and willing to talk to you and listen to what you have to say. And in return, you have to be able to do the same for them.

my ex-boyfriend was quite similar to me and he had a lot of patience
but whenever it came to love/sex things, we seemed unable to really understand each other even if we had quite honest talks. :/

Well, like what exactly?

Depending on what those things are, a lot of couples have issues with sex. It's not uncommon.

The main difference between NT men and Aspie men: Nt men do everything their women want even at their own expese, in other term....they pretend.
While Aspie men have a harder time to pretend.

he seemed to have a bit of impersonal understanding of sex, as it he did it because he needed to but it was quite unrelated to me. i feel a lot of guys have it. while for me, it was deeply connected to the person i was having sex with. it hurts me a lot to feel that we just had sex because i was an option available and if there was other option he would go for it?? ok it doesn't mean that on practice he would have sex with whatever person but in his way of thinking, this was a plausible thing.

he also had an idea of love as an strong feeling that just happen and last only while this feeling goes, and it's going to fade at some point. while i feel it has a lot to do on choosing to be with someone and actually compromising a lot of stuff to maintain it. it was very strange with us because he said that his feeling for me had come and go many times and it seem that i should learn how to deal with it?? but i couldn't understand how it worked and couldn't predict it. it was very stressful.

Men and women aren't incompatible. They're just different. And sometimes differences can actually make people more compatible. Someone who wants to be a stay-at-home parent would be more compatible with a career-driven person, for instance.

Moreover, it's not like there's only one man in the world. There are many different kinds of men, and you'll be more compatible with some than others. If you aren't compatible with men you've been with, that doesn't mean you won't be compatible with any man. It's just a matter if finding the right one.