I blew it!FB request too early scared her

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Bad news. After a great day where I walked a charity walk with work in the morning, maybe got socially overconfident, and chatted by text with a girl who took my friend request on Facebook after meeting on OKCupid, I requested a girl who had requested ME on OKCupid weeks ago and had seemed receptive but for diet issues to a Cinco de Mayo thing.

The girl who requested me says nothing in return, on OKC or FB, but accepts the request within minutes, as did the first girl who had no qualms with it whatsoever AFAIK. This morning, I suggest a date idea for next Saturday, nothing too fancy, just a park walk and taking pictures maybe (she works as a photographer). I sign it Alex from OKC and your future, maybe a bit presumptuous but I thought cute. She replies "How do you think this is an OK way to ask for a date?," says she's busy that weekend, tells me not to contact her, unfriends me (but doesn't block me), and messages me in OKC asking me how I found her and why (name, pictures similar, photo studio) and that it was "scary."

I replied telling her my picture from OKC (she complained they don't match) is on my timeline but the FB profile is one from when my old friends knew me, that I'm sorry I didn't ask her for her FB first, and that I have an autism spectrum disorder and may have poor instincts sometimes. I just thought she was genuinely into me at one point, and if it weren't for her I may never have contacted her in the first place, but I'm scared my 6 mutual FB friends, at least one of whom I work with, will distance themselves from me, that FB or OKC will deal me negative consequences, or even that I'll face humiliating legal consequences I can't afford for one little mistake. I don't usually get forgiven for this kind of thing, but she seemed like a nice girl and it hurts to know I've scared her.

She replied that she's sorry for being rude, would like to talk on FB and just wishes I'd asked her, and is very busy until surgery (which she told me about before, very intimate for someone uninterested) and recovering after, but would feel more comfortable meeting in a few weeks. I feel a little better hearing back, but still wish I didn't put my foot in my mouth like that somestimes. I told her to add me back if she wanted, message/meet when she can, and wished her well on recovery.

Any advice?

This was so ultimately stupid from your part, AS doesn't excuse you in this.

I am a guy and I suspect stranger girls who quickly request for a FB friending (I suspect that they may want to lure me to say something sexual and blackmail me).

Just wait for her to message. If her surgery time comes before she messages you again, then maybe message and say something simple like "I hope your surgery went well & your recovery goes smoothly," or whatever just to show you remembered & care. Before that, though, others are correct.. don't message her - let her chill out and then if she wants to communicate she'll be in touch. It's also a bit of a reverse psychology sales negotiations thing.. he who speaks first loses, so, if you cave to your desires to message her she'll think you're being creepy or desperate and won't reply. If you give her space, she might have a growing curiosity about you and send you a message. Playing hard to get is still a thing in 2018.

IMO, so far you've handled it pretty well! And it's a good sign that she responded to your message. I bet now she's a lot more understanding of why you communicated how you did. Maybe she'll come around and get in touch with you.. wait and find out. Don't message her. Maybe she won't message you, and if not, oh well, life happens.. but at least you know she read your message and knows about your ASD and won't think you're a creepy jerk - just different.

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