Decisions? One woman poss date, other texting me.

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I've been at online dating for a month now, and one of the mutual likes who lives in town (we'll call her A by initial), after a week of no contact, chatted with me the same way she had before and agreed to a date this coming Saturday when I talked to her Sunday. She's Christian to some extent, probably doesn't do premarital things I assume (platonic's fine for now, of course), and is often over playing Settlers of Catan with friends (not sure what kind of friends). She hasn't invited me to one of those get-togethers yet, but she's decent in convo now that we're back in touch. We texted each other last night, and between voter registration, shopping, and her, I've got a pretty decent Saturday out planned. I went to a meetup.com group, small with mostly older people, Saturday morning, feel some momentum for once.

Meanwhile, another of the mutual likes (S by initial), who lives half an hour away and exchanged numbers within a week of liking, lots of talk about work, her hobbies, her tattoos (on her calf, no less), texted me unprompted three times just in the last week, two times Easter Sunday (including sending me a pic of her dogs on her blanket) and once last night. People following my posts may recognize me as having been counseled by Planeteers here that S was lying when saying "I will" to "message me anytime," but the last time she said "Hey," I said "sup," and she replied "lying in bed lol." I repeat, she has texted me from her bedroom twice. I bought protection but haven't assuaged my Mom's worries by driving over yet (It's been an unusually snowy start to April here) with her and back. She's concerned about my concentration for long drives, and may be a bit overprotective in general, probably prefers I get to know this girl in person just eating or bowling or whatever.

I sense a booty call or at least sexting in my future from S, though, and want to figure out a way I can enjoy this situation without ruining my home life. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings either, but I'm not used to having options, and I think A could be as fun to talk to as S might be to pleasure. I don't have the dishonesty skills to be a "player," but don't want to miss out on opportunities due to not being "ready." Any thoughts?

Best advice is to not take it too seriously and if you want to meet more than one, go ahead. Chances are nothing will come of it (as online dating in general goes it's usually just talk and no action) but hey, why not have some fun if that's your thing? I must ask though why do you care what your Mom thinks. Aren't you an adult that's well past the age of majority?

I do mean this in the nicest way possible but you sound a lot like me when I was 29 in that you have a lot to learn.

Bumping to see if more answers. I've kept getting texts from S and went on a dinner date (not that fancy) with A. Me and A had decent conversations, though I wasn't as clever as I expected to be, and went walking at a local park afterwards. I leaned in for a hug goodbye and got one, though she was tired and I'm not sure how she really saw it in retrospect. I said I had a good time, don't remember the answer but not that enthusiastic. Hope it's just not another failure, but I don't think she would have gone elsewhere with me after dinner if I weren't on something like the right track.

I met a girl registering voters, just hanging around the same market since nobody really came over to register, she gave me her email on request for her phone (claimed she didn't have a cell), I told her about a meet-and-greet by a candidate she expressed interest in (that I'd gotten the invite for), haven't heard back since afternoon when I met her.

I'm not sure how is dating culture where you are, but I don't think there is any problem in keep contact with both while you don't really set anything. If any of them or the situation lead to some exclusivity context, then you must value where are your best chances and what option actually you want more.

Didn't you talk with A after the dinner day? And did you propose S a dinner or other activity, I didn't get this part. I wouldn't make a big deal out the fact she texted you from her bedroom, I'm writing this answer at my bedroom and it doesn't mean anything.

Hi, Itcvnzl. Dating culture in millennial America is very strange, almost no rules seem to apply other than primal social interactions that baffle me, and I often sense I either bore or offend with any attempts at flirting. My date with A ended four hours ago. I haven't gotten texted or texted since. I might say something tomorrow, don't know what. I feel like I run out of things to talk about on one date, and so I'm not sure how much more I'd kill any attraction on future ones. She goes to a game night at the local comics store on Tuesday nights, but it's when I work (until and I'd have to change my schedule to fit. She opened up about being routine-driven, even with what she orders, a few bits and pieces of autism spectrum traits come up every once in a while, so maybe I'll never get neurotypical reactions from her. Don't know how I'd broach the subject or if she's diagnosed, whether it would do good or if we both need some unattainable NT.

I haven't proposed anything to S, and frankly have no idea when she's free but suspect it's not until at least the weekend after next. On the other hand, she blew off one of her last shifts with a weekend part-time job she hates, so things may change soon. The weather's been unpredictable, but soon drives to her town will be more feasible. I did propose going to a local chain to S, which is in her town and mine, and she claimed the idea in principle might work but not in the short term. S texted me about a tattoo on her calf once, but you're right that she's not very flirtatious otherwise. She texts me like I with the frequency of people in relationships, but not the content, which I find confusing. I wish she'd just send me a racy pic or a saucy note to indicate some sort of attraction, as one girl who lived much further away did a few years ago.

I guess dating culture just became messed everywhere. As a foreigner it sort of sounded (from movies or popular culture and stereotypes) like there is a huge thing when you take a girl to a date and even if you don't have anything physical it's some form of commitment. No idea how I got this idea from. Anyway, I'm terrible with social rules and flirting and everything normal people do.

Oh, I didn't know it happened today. I guess you can value better her seemly cold reaction in your further contact. it's late now for it, but unless you had took her home, you could had texted her asking if she got home well (I'm not sure how much it's an habit in USA, but some people here tend to do it... but I guess it comes from real safety reasons but it could be a good anchor for conversation). Try to find something you talked about to start a conversation, maybe about the possibility of changing your schedule to go to the game night?

I wouldn't recommend talking about if she is in the spectrum right now. She might get offended or self-consciouss. Give it a bit of time. Had you commented already that you are on the spectrum?

About S, maybe she is flirtatious talking about being bed or her tattoo... or maybe she isn't. I think is good to not over-analyze and read too much into the conversations, it can make you create wrong assumptions. Try to remember about going to this local chain or asking if she would have another activity without putting much pressure, I think some people need more time to meet in person and you seem to have some different work schedule. If she talks a lot with you, even if it's not deep or "saucy" things, it indicates she is interesting in knowing you more. Maybe she isn't into "heavy" flirting online? (And maybe you're even expecting that from her because you build expectative because she was texting you from bed – that's why it's bad, you are getting confused from reading too much into her messages).

Anyway, you sound like you're doing well.

I don't know why you're trying to determine whether or not she's flirting with you. You met on an online dating site. It should be assumed that the two of you are communicating in a romantic context. You're going on dates.

And instead of some sort of awkward hug at the end of the date, I would suggest starting the date off with a hug. Dating is as much physical communication as it is verbal. It's possible that she's wondering why you didn't make much physical contact. Waiting to hug her at the very end makes it seem like it's not even part of the date but just an afterthought.

As far as being as clever as you'd like, the bar for conversation on a date is not very high. You basically just need to talk and not sound like a total idiot. I wouldn't even try too hard to impress her as that is less attractive than just relaxing and enjoying the conversation. You are right that the girl wouldn't have gone elsewhere with you after dinner if she didn't want to continue the date.

Also, most people I know who are online dating are going on a lot of dates and I think it's safe to assume that this is the case for a lot of people so you shouldn't be worried about having options, that is a good thing as it allows you to be more confident in your decisions. And most Christians are probably "doing premarital things" and just feeling guilty about it afterwards and perhaps praying for forgiveness or just rationalizing it as acceptable.

Hope this helps.