Ran Into Someone I Dated Years Ago

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Over the weekend I was at a sporting event and someone on my team looked familiar but I couldn't understand where I knew her from. Once I saw just her face it was unmistakable: it was someone I went on a date with about 4 years ago. At the time she seemed like a dream girl: attractive, friendly, intelligent, ambitious, the whole 9 yards. I thought the date went well but she later flaked on me and I assumed it was because I didn't 'measure up'.

Fast forward to today and she has gained at least 50lbs, had the personality of dried toast, looked like she forgot what hair care meant, was dreadfully bad at the sport and most importantly is still single. In short, I thought to myself how crazy I must have been to be the least bit attracted to her back then. It goes back to my point that if a woman (or man) on a dating site looks too good to be true it's probably because they are. She was obviously 'acting' on that date and her true colors were showing at this event.

It's not nice to knock somebody....perhaps this person has had trials.

I guess I would do the same thing if I were in your situation. I'm not "judging" you.

But still...there are better things to think about. Like how much YOU'VE progressed. You've gotten over being bullied. You've gotten married.

Perhaps, you can be an example for this person---who knows?

True, but you would have had to have dated her to understand: despite the positive qualities I mentioned she had a very stuck up, arrogant attitude like she was doing me a favor by talking to me 1 on 1. In other words a typical OKcupid date. Being an idiot at the time I believed that I was 'inferior' to her and put her on a pedestal.

Which is precisely my whole point. I see all these negative posts about how hard it is to find someone and I am pointing out that you will eventually get to a point where these "dream" matches are nothing special. They are FAR from perfect and they are not "out of (your) league".


I will point that I was by far the best player on the field: I surprised everyone least of all myself. Normally I would have made a cocky statement about how I guess I am not a loser after all but I realize that was the old GHF. Besides, I couldn't care less whether she likes me or not.

Did she recognize you in return?

Da fuq did I just read?

Sounds like sour grapes to me. Poor girl.

If you’re married, I don’t see why this has affected you. Just someone you used to know who happened to age badly.

I don’t think making dick comments about someone like that because they weren’t interested at the time is necessary, an unaffected person would just go “meh”.

What did you gain from telling us she’s fat, useless, ugly and boring? Something, obviously.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 15 May 2018, 4:00 am, edited 2 times in total.

People change with age, even you or your wife may become fat and ugly one day.

Or even, God forbid, dreadfully bad at the sport.

She did not.

How on Earth is that a dick comment? She spent the date going on about how athletic, healthy, in shape she was and so on and had an ego so bad a pin could have popped it. I never once said there was anything wrong with her rejecting me (although the ghosting WAS a dick move) and that wasn't the point of my post at all. My point was that people on dating sites aren't nearly as "perfect" as the image they project.

After spending my life being bullied (particularly for being tall and underweight) it's nice to see some of these stuck up types get their just rewards.


I had no problem with her appearance per se and have seen far more unattractive people. I DID have a problem how she boasted constantly about her appearance both on her profile and on the date.

So you dated her when? Several years ago. That might have been true, at the time.

So she aged badly and became fat and ugly. And? It’s not your problem. Let her be, don’t make a mockery of her on the internet.

She rejected you. It happens to all of us. Being nasty about people who rejected us who became fat and/or ugly seems like a waste of energy. I can think of much better reasons to hate someone’s guts, like being raped or having your stuff stolen.