Hey Guys,
I just found out a few years ago that I have Aspergers. I have been dating for many years and have gotten a lot of great first dates but nothing set in stone. I actually haven't had a girlfriend now for 8 to 10 years. It's been difficult, I have felt very lonely. It seems that any girls I date "just want to be friends." Its been this way the last 10 years but I just can't figure out what I'm missing here. I have a close friend who was my very first girlfriend at 16 years old. She has never gotten over me and I still talk to her in tough times. She keeps telling me that the girls I am dating are really missing out every time they say they just want to be friends. She says they wouldn't say that or be so quick to judge you if they knew you the way I do. I asked her through texting, what is it that she sees in me that all these other girls miss or just don't see? She said "You are kind, gentle, polite and the list goes on and on." I'm trying dating sites such as Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, and now more serious ones like Match and EHarmony. I have not had any success yet. I have come so close but it always ends up as "I just want to be friends." In Highschool I felt I didn't need a girlfriend and I had girls asking me out like crazy. I was too shy to doing much about it though. I dated a girl I knew since Elementary School and we were together for 4 years. It was a rough relationship though as she could be very mean, she liked hanging around her Guy friends and pretty much let them do anything they wanted to her. She had no problem flirting with them in front of me. After 4 years I asked her to move with me which she thought about then refused. Since then I just haven't been able to find/ have a steady girlfriend. They all "Just want to be friends." One girl who I dated recently, we had a great date but at the same time she did a few things I didn't like, she talked about a male co-worker in front of me, she said I was socially awkward, when I mentioned my Aspergers she laughed and said "Like Sheldon." On the positive side, we kissed, hugged, cuddled, she said she loved kissing, hugging and cuddling me. She was so pretty. She couldn't take her hands off me during the date. Then two days later she said she didn't think we were a good fit and once again, we should just be friends. I tried talking to her, saying "Are you sure we couldn't try just one more time? I really like you." She then blocked me on Facebook after I sent 5 messages. I had said stuff like "Please don't forget me. If you ever change your mind, I'm right here <3" Where am I going wrong? People tell me that I didn't do anything wrong but I just don't understand why this keeps happening. I have also had girls say that I was the nicest and most polite guy that they ever met but I wasn't what they wanted. There have been times too that I have gotten desperate over the last 10 years from being so lonely as well as from OCD. Guys, where am I going wrong? - Nick
23 Apr 2018, 6:36 pm
