The girl I like boke up w boyfriend and wont see her again
I am in nursing school and the girl i like recently broke up with her boyfriend, but I have to leave school because I failed the clinical portion of it and the program director won't let me continue I have to reapply into the program. My dilemma is the girl I like broke up with her boyfriend and I was hoping to spend the next few months in school schmoozing her up but now that wont be possible and it makes me really sad. I sent her a message saying that I had to leave school and that she was one of the first people to talk to me and a found it very sweet. I told her I thought she was really kind and smart and thanked her for her friendship. She told me it was really sad I was leaving and that I am a great person and the nursing profession needs more people like me. My only option now is to send her a msg asking her out for coffee. This really sucks. I like her so much for the reasons I already outlined. Please help if someone can.
AngelRho
Veteran
Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
You have bigger fish to fry than trying to date this girl. You can TRY to reapply to the program and hope for the best, but...
...
...I know someone who dropped out of one nursing program, applied to another, got in, and STILL couldn't complete her degree. If you are absolutely sure you can get past your clinicals and finish school, by all means don't let me stop you. In my experience, though, nursing school teachers are bad about playing favorites and politics. If you know someone, you'll sail right through. If you are exceptionally gifted, they'll pass you. If you're just, meh, and you can't impress SOMEONE up there, you really should consider changing your major. I don't mean to discourage you, but I've seen too many people burned in the nursing and medical fields. Forget the girl. Reevaluate your life goals and see what's out there that you can really succeed at.
My best friend picked up a large number of psych electives along the way and was only short a couple of foreign language courses. She spent a summer in a language school in Mexico and walked away with a useless degree. On the flip side, it gave her a lot of good practical knowledge that she spun into various careers that spanned law, banking, and education. She is currently a school administrative assistant after 2.5 years as a teaching assistant. They are pressuring her to get her full-time elementary teaching credentials. She doesn't have all the money of nurses, but she has a job she looks forward to every day.
Refocus on your exit strategy. Salvage what you can and major in something other than nursing that suits you. Keep your nose in the books and revisit relationships at a better, more appropriate time.
Asking her out for coffee isn't your only option. You could ask her to hang out and not frame it as a date at first and then see if you can get an idea of her interest level in you romantically. If the interest appears to be there, then you could ask her out on a date after hanging out.
As a nurse myself and obviously having gone through nursing school, I would recommend only focusing on school. Studying for the exams are hard enough, and the added pressure of having clinicals every week don't leave much room for distractions if you want to pass. I don't know why, but nursing school always seems to be full of bs drama.
You have to decide what's more important to you. Passing your courses and the NCLEX to beccome a nurse or getting a gf? You'll have plenty of time for the later when you're all done.
What happened in clinicals? I had to repeat it once as well. I hated them so much!
AngelRho
Veteran
Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
Stardust: thanks for your perspective! I'd prefer to be more encouraging, but I just never saw much with the nursing students I saw flunk out that made me say, "hey, don't let ANYONE hold you back!" At a certain point you just have to decide whether a program is more trouble than it's worth.
There are many, many specialized areas that are awesome alternatives to med school and nursing. There's a demand for physical therapists and sports therapy. I personally couldn't go into chronic pain management (opioids as a first resort are too easy and insurance seldom pays for alternatives), but you might find it's a field that works well for you.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
I am surprised that none of you warned him that his failure in the course may be a turn off for her. Being a dropout with no alternative plan would kill his chance with her.
To simply put:
OP, right now, in her eyes; your future is unknown- and that would scare her. This is a really bad timing to ask her out.
AngelRho
Veteran
Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
To simply put:
OP, right now, in her eyes; your future is unknown- and that would scare her. This is a really bad timing to ask her out.
Excellent point, though this isn't necessarily true. She might go for him anyway. But dittos on having an alternate plan.
Either way, she should be the last thing on his mind right now.
There are many, many specialized areas that are awesome alternatives to med school and nursing. There's a demand for physical therapists and sports therapy. I personally couldn't go into chronic pain management (opioids as a first resort are too easy and insurance seldom pays for alternatives), but you might find it's a field that works well for you.
To be honest it really was more trouble than it was worth. I had to go to a different school. I used to think I needed to go back and get my RN (LPN), but after thinking about how hard and awful nursing school was just getting my LPN, I really don't want to have to go through that experience again. Besides, it would be useless to me anyway as I work as a home health nurse doing private duty (I can't handle working floor nursing and dealing with nasty coworkers, so I prefer to work alone taking care of one patient) and have no desire to work in a hospital or have the added responsibility an RN has.
You have to decide what's more important to you. Passing your courses and the NCLEX to beccome a nurse or getting a gf? You'll have plenty of time for the later when you're all done.
What happened in clinicals? I had to repeat it once as well. I hated them so much!
Basically it came down to my social skills (or lack thereof) and my teacher was not impressed with how I interacted with patients. I am studying practical nursing, and luckily I will be able to re-do my second semester clinical placement in September. So all is not lost on the educational front. Just hard because I like this girl a lot. I asked her for coffee and she told me that if I needed a friend she is here for me, but that sounded more like her friendzoning me.
I wish I could type some advice on how to handle patients, and maybe I’ll try to do so, but not sure how much it’d help. What I do want to say is that I’m autistic, and ironically my biggest area of strength is communicating with patients. Working in PT, we have to frequently convince patients to work with us, and there’s this whole cat and mouse game I’m good at. Also, when a patient is upset, I’m really good at comforling them. Point it, just because your autistic, it doesn’t mean you can’t communicate well.
The reason I’ve been able to handle patients was that I’ve developed scripts to handle patients. So when a patient is scared, I’ll combine humor with reassurance:
“I’m scare i’m going to fall!”
“I won’t let you fall. I only drop the patients I don’t like.”
Believe me, combining a sense of humor with comfort goes a long way. Try to relax with the patient. Remember, you are only going to see them in small intervals which is why you can get away with faking it. Because you only have to fake for a small period of time.
I agree with AspieSingleDad, it's much easier for us to interact with people in the short term and so hospital work is great for that. I was the one they often sent in to deal with rowdy patients in the ED since I tended to calm them down more effectively than the others. I think it's because they could tell I didn't judge, I was there to help them.
As for the OP, I would absolutely not concern myself with dating anyone during nursing school. If you want to succeed you will need 100% focus on getting it done first. Once you're done, there will be plenty of people and time.
_________________
I'm not a doctor but I play one on t.v.
You have to decide what's more important to you. Passing your courses and the NCLEX to beccome a nurse or getting a gf? You'll have plenty of time for the later when you're all done.
What happened in clinicals? I had to repeat it once as well. I hated them so much!
Basically it came down to my social skills (or lack thereof) and my teacher was not impressed with how I interacted with patients. I am studying practical nursing, and luckily I will be able to re-do my second semester clinical placement in September. So all is not lost on the educational front. Just hard because I like this girl a lot. I asked her for coffee and she told me that if I needed a friend she is here for me, but that sounded more like her friendzoning me.
Well, at least you didn't make any serious mistakes. I made a med error and then bent a needle when I was drawing up insulin. Ya.....lol.
That's pretty dumb they'd kick you out for "lack of social skills". Did a patient(s) actually complain about you or was it just based off your instructors "typical NT" observations? You don't have to be a social butterfly to be a decent nurse. That's why I work in private duty as an LPN so I don't have to deal with judgemental coworkers. The only time I have to deal with them is at change of shift report with the PM nurse or when the RN visits once a month or I need to call her about something.
Honestly, just forget about the girl. She's not important right now.
You have to decide what's more important to you. Passing your courses and the NCLEX to beccome a nurse or getting a gf? You'll have plenty of time for the later when you're all done.
What happened in clinicals? I had to repeat it once as well. I hated them so much!
Basically it came down to my social skills (or lack thereof) and my teacher was not impressed with how I interacted with patients. I am studying practical nursing, and luckily I will be able to re-do my second semester clinical placement in September. So all is not lost on the educational front. Just hard because I like this girl a lot. I asked her for coffee and she told me that if I needed a friend she is here for me, but that sounded more like her friendzoning me.
Well, at least you didn't make any serious mistakes. I made a med error and then bent a needle when I was drawing up insulin. Ya.....lol.
That's pretty dumb they'd kick you out for "lack of social skills". Did a patient(s) actually complain about you or was it just based off your instructors "typical NT" observations? You don't have to be a social butterfly to be a decent nurse. That's why I work in private duty as an LPN so I don't have to deal with judgemental coworkers. The only time I have to deal with them is at change of shift report with the PM nurse or when the RN visits once a month or I need to call her about something.
Honestly, just forget about the girl. She's not important right now.
All I was told was I was having trouble "putting things together," and that they didn't know how to support me in the field. Honestly, I think my clinical supervisor just didn't want to bother with me anymore. I was simply told withdraw for this term and simply re-do the clinical portion over again in September, since I was passing all the course work with flying colors.
OP, it's funny because I was in a very similar situation to you around this time last year.
I was going to school in a different state and met a girl there at the beginning of the semester and we became friends. She had a boyfriend at the time so I coudn't ask her out but she later broke up with her boyfriend but only a week before I was going to move back home. She too was also a nursing student, and she seemed nice enough.
I too thought about asking her out but I chickened out, citing that it was too early and because of the distance between us. Well it turns out, that she met a guy online more than 6 hours way just 5 months later and now they're in a long-distance relationship. So I missed my chance of ever being with her, and now I kind of regret not going for it.
Don't make the same mistake I did OP...
If you want to be with this girl, then you're going to have to be proactive, you're going to have to pursue her. Is this girl young and attractive? Then there's a good chance you may only have a 6 month to 1 year window before she's seeing someone else, that's just the reality of many of these young beautiful women. Iv'e seen it so many times to know this is common.
Now don't ask me how to ask a girl out because i'm no relationship expert, you can consult with Dr. Google. But you don't want to ask her out immediately, maybe talk to her for 3-4 weeks before you even consider it. But eventually, you want to tell her your feelings.
Another tip I can give is when you do ask her out and she says she never saw you that way, don't ever lash out at her, even if you're upset. Just say something along the lines of, "Well like I said, I really do appreciate you helping me out with nursing school, I wish you the best of luck in life." You want to end on a high note, so even though she's rejecting you, at least you appear to be cool with it.
You have to decide what's more important to you. Passing your courses and the NCLEX to beccome a nurse or getting a gf? You'll have plenty of time for the later when you're all done.
What happened in clinicals? I had to repeat it once as well. I hated them so much!
Basically it came down to my social skills (or lack thereof) and my teacher was not impressed with how I interacted with patients. I am studying practical nursing, and luckily I will be able to re-do my second semester clinical placement in September. So all is not lost on the educational front. Just hard because I like this girl a lot. I asked her for coffee and she told me that if I needed a friend she is here for me, but that sounded more like her friendzoning me.
Well, at least you didn't make any serious mistakes. I made a med error and then bent a needle when I was drawing up insulin. Ya.....lol.
That's pretty dumb they'd kick you out for "lack of social skills". Did a patient(s) actually complain about you or was it just based off your instructors "typical NT" observations? You don't have to be a social butterfly to be a decent nurse. That's why I work in private duty as an LPN so I don't have to deal with judgemental coworkers. The only time I have to deal with them is at change of shift report with the PM nurse or when the RN visits once a month or I need to call her about something.
Honestly, just forget about the girl. She's not important right now.
All I was told was I was having trouble "putting things together," and that they didn't know how to support me in the field. Honestly, I think my clinical supervisor just didn't want to bother with me anymore. I was simply told withdraw for this term and simply re-do the clinical portion over again in September, since I was passing all the course work with flying colors.
Ya the exams were easy for me too! I struggled with clinical.
Is it possible you could ask them to be more specific about what they meant when they said you had trouble putting things together? It would be important to know these things so you know what you need to work on when you start clinical again and are prepared. If they can't even do that, I'd look for another nursing program. Unfortunately a lot of these schools have a "sink or swim" mentality.
Anyways, I was talking to her today and she asked me a question about our lab test we had and just as I was about to explain myself she cut me off and said "oh yeah I know that already." Come to think of it, she does this a lot - asks me questions and then as I am about to answer them she cuts me off - almost to say I am talking too much.
