Where to meet girls

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Playing the numbers game seems to be essential. I think only meeting a couple of girls every few years isn't going to result in anything unless you are really lucky. I want to be meeting a new girl at least once per week so maybe one day one of them will like me. Problem is I don't drink and going to clubs and such on Friday night seems to be just for sex hookups. There's gotta be a better way I just don't know what. I've had people say just go sit in a pub and something might happen. No idea how though. Being alone in a crowd makes me feel even more alone. I think social clubs might be more the answer. Too bad they're just full of older people. Where are people in their twenties? Just working and then sitting at home? Seems they don't do anything but still find someone.

What do you lot do to try meet potential love interests? I guess friends too but I'm really not that interested in just that as a bisexual I end up falling for them after a while.

If you want to try social clubs you could give this a go https://www.rotaract.org.uk

Never done it myself but I knew a couple of people that met their partners through this a few years ago

Social groups rarely work for that though.

You get acquaintances, not friends, let alone girlfriends.

Most adults stick to their social circles and past a certain age they don’t see interested to expand it.

I met my wife online, through a local app. I was surprised how down to earth alot of people are. I'd try the apps, perhaps other forums/ facebook?

Hobbies.
The succesful couples I know met in things such as choirs, church groups, popular science projects, sports, hiking clubs, etc.

Same here. My husband and I met in a school where we both volunteered. In the past I met other people though shared interests (language classes, diving, climbing, travelling) or through education and work. Also some of my best friends came as suggestions from other acquaintances - where the acquaintances said "you guys are so perfect for each other, because you are both the same type of person" and they were right and whilst I lost contact with the acquaintances 10-20 years later I am still friends with the people they suggested I would get on with!

Well I met my boyfriend on a dating site called okcupid, some will say that kind of thing is useless. But I thought it made the initial meeting people easier because I could describe myself on my profile. Of course I edited it multiple times to improve it. Of course some people on there are more interested in hook ups, and leading people on for a time or there are sometimes even scam profiles...so be wary of that.

Also though nothing wrong with meeting various girls, however don't make it too much of a habit because than you might miss out it if one starts to like you. That can happen quickly, I mean when I met my boyfriend he had talked to other women on the site and had potential plans to meet them even when we had our first date. But we had a good time and felt a pretty strong connection so starting then we didn't meet other people. If we had we might have passed each other by.

Another thing though if you aren't having much luck still keep the profile open, you never know someone youve messaged may get back to you even if they don't respond at first. I actually didn't respond to the first messege my boyfriend sent for a month...because at the time I was frustrated about getting led on by a guy I had met and I needed some time to get over that, because it made me pretty bitter(it wasn't the first time). But once I felt better I did respond and he was still interested in meeting me.

I’m a big proponent of the numbers game. Maybe THE proponent on WP, I dunno.

The idea is simple: the odds of getting a date are pathetically bad for anyone. Odds favor rejection almost every single time.

ALMOST.

Let’s suppose you have 100 women you personally know that you might ask out. Let’s suppose given the status quo out of that 100 you’re only going to get a date with ONE woman.

You do NOT know the actual odds of any one woman accepting a date with you. You do NOT know how your odds might improve over time.

That’s a lot of uncertainty given that ONE woman you can be sure to get a date with. Even more daunting is you do not know which one she is. Needle in a haystack.

What this leaves you with is asking 100 women out one by one until someone accepts your offer.

By process of elimination, the odds increase to a near certainty that a woman WILL accept. As you gain experience, you begin to “game the system.” Work on your appearance. Take good care of yourself (join a gym, get an hour of vigorous exercise a day, brush your teeth and use mouthwash, good eating habits, get help for that skin condition, etc.). Record yourself speaking and tweak your speech patterns. Adjust your walking gate. Learn how to show interest in someone by getting them to talk about herself. Be generous with compliments without being too obvious. Give appropriate gifts on birthdays, etc. You will do things that make you more attractive to more women and you’ll meet the kinds of women who are more like you and who more likely wouldn’t mind accepting an offer.

“Just friends hanging out for lunch/coffee/beer” is perfectly acceptable as a legit date in my definition. It might seem creepy to call it a date, but it’s still a date. A date is any get together for the purpose of entertainment and getting to know someone better. Group dates even count.

If you’re on track for asking out 100 women, you will likely find it doesn’t actually take very long to find someone up for an easy lunch date. I used to be on the local symphony board. If I’d been single, what I might have done is find a girl who likes classical music and talk her into volunteering with me at the ticket booth. Do something awesome for the community, get a free concert. You can’t lose.

Eventually it stops being about getting a date and about getting a relationship. The reason why is as your odds of getting a date increase over time, you find getting at least one date over the weekend isn’t really a problem. You’ll find you hang with one of, say, three girls at any given time. So you go with whoever you feel closest to and ask if taking it to the next level is in the cards. If not, you have two other options. If none of those work out, review your list, see who’s dateable material, cross out any potential psychos, etc., and start back over. Because out of 100 women you might actually get a date with, there is AT LEAST one among those who is LTR or marriage material.

Rejection is your friend, not your enemy. This is key to remember. In the end, you only end up with one. If you date 100 women to get a relationship with ONE, that’s 99 women you rejected if they didn’t reject you first.

And don’t be afraid of what happens afterwards. 100% of romantic relationships WILL END. Always, without exception, one way or another, you will lose her or she will lose you. Don’t feel bad about breaking up. Each breakup is just one step closer to something that will make it for the long haul.

I haven’t said anything about WHERE to meet anyone. I think everyone else has covered this well. Bars/clubs were never my style. Never could figure out that scene. Wouldn’t know where to start. The last time I met a “random
woman off the street” it was exercising in the park. I’ve been IAR for quite a few years now, but just meeting someone is unavoidable, as it should be. The last person I kissed who was NOT my SO was a girl at the community theater. I played the part of her love interest. I won’t lie—I was attracted to her, we had good chemistry, and no doubt there was “emotional cheating” on my part. But that began and ended with the production. Had I not been in a serious relationship at the time, that might have turned into something off-stage. Lately, though, being committed as I am right now means I pretty much keep my distance from women. And I’m no longer interested in dating at this point in my life should the unthinkable happen.

So...can’t comment much on the hookup scene with bars/clubs. I don’t think hookups are ever a good idea. The reason why is ONS often ends up NOT being ONS. Sex will almost always breed emotional attachment. When I was younger, I found my love life dissatisfying, and suddenly I was surrounded by girls who felt exactly the same way. So I tried the ONS thing a couple of times. Three separate times, three different girls, and all three seem to want more of me. I was honest about not wanting to lead them on or mess things up for them, so I ended up having to bring that to a close. But, of course, if I’d wanted to, I could have spun a hookup into something real.

“Just friends” same thing. You know someone casually that you’re close to and something more develops over time. It takes more patience than most people have to make this work, but I feel like the stronger relationships come out of friendship. I just don’t see the likelihood that two friends could NEVER fall in love. But that goes back to the numbers game when you just meet someone and it goes further. It’s just too unlikely that you’d get rejected by every single girl on the planet, and it’s similarly unlikely that you’d NEVER have a female friend who’d fall for you.

You can meet people anytime, or any place, but I agree, that your best chance at finding someone compatible, is when you are doing something you love.

I have met several people where I work, but this can be good, and bad. It's a great way to get to know people, without all of the pressure of dating, but there can also be a lot of problems associated with doing so.

Networking, through friends and family, can also be a good way of meeting new people.

Online dating usually isn't a great place for men to meet someone, especially Aspie men, although you might get lucky finding someone.

What about the guy's standards in this equation? It seems he's asking out everyone hoping for getting ANYone.

I meant social clubs*

According to that online survey, social club is a rare case of meeting someone:

https://www.bustle.com/p/where-people-a ... oday-45616


And I bet most of these 8% had mutual friends among the social club, I am totally sure that it would show very badly and desperate if you are a loner guy joining a club for the intent of meeting girls - no matter how much you try not to appear desperate. (unless if you are super hot looking, but since you're still single then chances you are not).

And women are unlikely to be happy knowing they are just ANYone, they prefer to believe to be THE one.
Yeah, it's tricky.
That's why I recommend getting to know someone before entering dating zone with them.

But here's the trickier thing, your husband for example may have picked you as THE one because EVERYONE else rejected him and you're the only who accepted him , but if he was a hot Playboy chased by hundreds of babes he may not have picked you at all.

No?

If he was a hot Playboy chased by hundreds of babes, I wouldn't bother with him I dislike crowds and competition.

It’s not an issue. If you don’t have trouble getting dates or being IAR, then you are basically doing the same thing, anyway. You don’t need someone telling you how to get women. If you only ask out a certain type of girl and hold your dates to a certain standard, it stands to reason every date you have and every relationship will hold to that standard.

It’s not about having high standards or low standards. It’s about having reasonable standards. Someone completely inexperienced or deficient in the dating field doesn’t really need to be concerned with marriage proposals and fighting fear of being alone for the rest of his life. He just needs to worry about getting a date. If you have no idea what you’re doing or you aren’t comfortable around MOOS, then you want a wide-open playing field. You don’t know what standard to set. As long as she isn’t psychotic or obviously harmful, go for it. Unless you LIKE psychotic, but just know psychotic people are difficult to get rid of.

Besides that, dating is all about trying out different relationships at different levels while you decide who will work out best long-term. Later on, you ask am I really in love with this person? Will I always feel this way? Do we mutually benefit each other? How do friends/family feel about him/her? And whatever questions you think are important and what level of satisfying those questions you find acceptable.

Just starting out and not having good luck with dating, you really have no clue. Someone who isn’t as pretty as you’d like, whose personality you find abrasive at first impression, or whatever may actually be someone totally different than you expect right at first, which means you only do yourself a favor by giving her more chances. If she complains, gossips, or curses your mother on the first date, I’d say never see her again. But aside from that, I’d say keep on with those you generally get along with until it’s do or die time.

Reasonable standards CAN be high, too. But you do yourself no favors by making things impossible. See who is out there, keep an open mind, and stay safe from the crazies. If you don’t know what that’s going to be for you, don’t sell yourself short by writing off too many MOOS.

I'm married and have been with my wife for over 15 years, but I agree with the others on here when they stated hobbies are a great way to meet like-minded people. Not only do you have something you love in common, but that will help as an ice breaker and give you something to talk about and do together if you hit it off and get a date. Besides fitness stuff, I really love playing video games and am a Tolkien junkie. I met my wife online because she's also a video game nerd and likes Tolkien too. We were able to BS about all of this and things just went from there. Bars and such were never my thing, and I rarely went to them and even then it was only because friends wanted to go. Good luck to you!