Tired of The Dating Game

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Joined: 22 May 2018
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Location: Altoona, Iowa, USA

22 May 2018, 7:45 pm

I've never understood "the dating game". I mean, I understand it, but it feels wrong and is completely counter-intuitive to aspergian thought. I see relationships as layered, only diverging at the end and almost woven together. I see a romantic interest not being separate to a friendly interest but a friendly interest & a romantic interest. I couldn't see my partner as not also being a best friend because a partner should be a best friend and more. I don't see why an intimate relationship can't be both of deep romance and of deep friendship. I guess I'd just like to meet a woman who doesn't dichotomize men into "just friends" or "hot guy" and instead treats men as a potential friend and build from there.

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One who consistently finds humility from hardship will become a hero, while one who consistently finds self-righteousness from hardship will become a tyrant.

Last edited by Michael Bone on 22 May 2018, 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SilverStar
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22 May 2018, 7:54 pm

Some people just like to "have fun" with different people, until they find the one. Some people never want to settle down. Some people are only looking for a long-term relationship (friends, and romance), and some people just like being single...everybody is different.

yellowtamarin
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22 May 2018, 9:30 pm

What you are looking for exists, and there are people who feel the same way as you. Yep, even women

Michael Bone
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Location: Altoona, Iowa, USA

22 May 2018, 9:36 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:

What you are looking for exists, and there are people who feel the same way as you. Yep, even women

Thanks, I don't think it's too much to ask to be treated like an equal rather than objectified or stigmatized.

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One who consistently finds humility from hardship will become a hero, while one who consistently finds self-righteousness from hardship will become a tyrant.

Canary
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22 May 2018, 10:17 pm

I think it's good for people who are dating to be friends in a sense, too. To be able to listen to each other honestly, enjoy activities together, and trust each other. I get confused when people say "friends", but mean "friends right now, dating later". I take it to mean I should still be looking to date others.

Michael Bone
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Joined: 22 May 2018
Age: 30
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Location: Altoona, Iowa, USA

22 May 2018, 10:22 pm

Canary wrote:

Yea I get that, it might just be the way we use words more literally. I also can't help but feel like being on the spectrum sort of takes one out of that dichotomous thinking a bit.

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One who consistently finds humility from hardship will become a hero, while one who consistently finds self-righteousness from hardship will become a tyrant.

hale_bopp
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23 May 2018, 3:37 am

What you want is healthy. I’m sure that’s what most people want.

Canary
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23 May 2018, 10:42 am

Michael Bone wrote:

Canary wrote:

Yea I get that, it might just be the way we use words more literally. I also can't help but feel like being on the spectrum sort of takes one out of that dichotomous thinking a bit.

That, and the ambiguity of it bothers me. If friends means dating, and I'm not attracted to someone, I reject their friendship offers or... ?

I don't see what's wrong with dating without commitment for a while or being open-minded about friendships that started off platonic.

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