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Hi Everyone.

I don't know where to begin really, i just feel a bit down at the moment. I basically met this guy online around nine months ago now, he approached me on youtube and we got chatting for a while, then their was this talk on potentially meeting up and he was willing to meet and speak to my parents and he even said that his sister and his mum were willing to speak with them too. My family went mental and when i spoke to him twice on the phone, they would snatch the phone off me, have a go at me for talking to him and then the second time they contacted him, using my phone. My brother shouted out pervert for him to hear too. They text him and then warned him to end all contact with me after the second time they snatched my phone. Shouting as well, saying they'll get the police and social services involved. They gave me ultimatums that if i was to meet him, i'd be chucked out and they would have a go at me, saying that i was groomed and he might've raped me and was probably impersonating someone ect. I met him on webcam after he approached me and i wouldn't of ever met up with anyone on my own and would've met him in a public place, we spoke for months and got to know one another before we discussed meeting, we exchanged numbers after a while too. I understand that my parents didn't approve of anything but the way they dealt with it traumatised me, they've told me to forget all about it and move on now. They went from considering it to just warning him off and going on about online grooming and they didn't meet nor spoke to him or his family, when this chap said that he was willing to meet and talk to them, same goes with his mum and sister. There was a misunderstanding in regards to age, he mistakenly told me he was 13 years older when he's actually 19 years older than me, he never told me he was an uncle and that his sister was married, only said he had a sister and she had a partner, due to communication errors, it looks as if he wasn't whom he said he was, even though he can prove whom he is. He said he respected his sisters privacy, that is why he didn't mention that fact. I found that all the time he was interested in me, he left flirty compliments on other ladies you tube videos, which he claim is "hippy talk" and just "compliments" but it's me he likes and his family and gardening clients know about me ect and he's just a complimentary person and theirs nothing more un towards. Theirs an age difference and a difference geographically, he's two and a half hours away from me and even though we haven't physically met, we did spent endless hours, talking on skype, the phone, on webcam and left each other messages throughout the day for months on end and got to know each other. He claims to be vulnerable and have AS like traits too, like me and we more or less got along. We stupidly used to exchange sex messages but i reciprocated and i've never done that before, we were two lonely single people and consensual adults but my parents found out and went mental but most of the time, we generally spoke about general and mundane things. It has still had an impact on me though, as i got to know him for months, i find it hard to meet and talk to anyone and i'm a vulnerable lady of 28. I don't go out clubbing or pubbing or anything like that, i'm introverted and socially awkward and definitely not the type to initiate anything or actively look to date. My parents are protective and i appreciate the fact they did some investigating and looked out for me but they can be extreme with the over protectiveness, like if i want to date someone in the future, i will have to be dropped off and picked up from somewhere and i'm restricted in that sense and i want that to change. They often talk about me like i'm a teenager or a young girl then a women of 28. I haven't had help from anyone but i'm currently taking kalm tablets as i have anxiety issues and suffered with panic attacks and a couple of years ago i self harmed. I just feel so low all the time and all i've done for months is with drawn myself and i just finding it hard to regain my confidence, especially when my main company was this guy online and all we wanted to do was meet for a coffee, i wanted someone to go with me for support and i wouldn't of gone alone due to my vulnerability and anxiety and plus he's someone i met online. I feel so lonely and depressed. I emailed mind and they recommended numbers for me to call and advise on how to get help with my gp and contacts for groups to potentially join but i'm wondering if theirs a way on getting some form of mediation involved and a way to build bridges, for me and this chap that still would like to meet and i've grown attached to him and still really like him.

Can i just say, this chap, despite being threatened to keep away, has stuck by me, been abiding, never forced me to do anything, was all for me meeting him with someone and not go alone, he advised me to go to my gp and get anti depressants as he was concerned for my health and wellbeing as i told him about my anxiety and depression. I've contacted organisations and places that i thought would help with mediation and helping us to meet.
He was willing to even come down to my area to see me. Support me. I've confided in him and told him about someone that bullies me and he's willing to defend me and support me. He's still willing to prove that he's genuine too.


Regards
Sorrowfairiewhisper

Why did he lie about his age....and the fact that he’s an uncle?

He said he accidently sent me that email, he didn't mean to say 13 years older, he apparently got it "wrong" even though i told him at the time of meeting, i was 27, he could've said he was 46 then that. Also he reckons that apparently, it was because his sister didn't want me to know her business, however it turns out she plasters the fact she has kids on her facebook account, my mum found that out. I've asked him this and that's what he came up with, he still reckons he can prove that he is whom he says he is but he has made people suspicious of him, due to his actions. I'm only trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, if he is genuinely vulnerable and gets things wrong.

I am really sorry for tour issues. I can't tell if their worries are warranted, so I am going to ask some questions:
Where exactly did you meet, online chat room, dating site , etx
Has something like this happen before? Or something similar to have your folks concerned?
They mentiones grooming, did they give specific information that would have them that reason?
Do you have a culture that does not allow men and women to easily mingle? Does he?
Has he made any remarks that would make reds flags? Taking about marriage so early on? Etc
Him lying about his age can be a red flag. But he may have assumed you would not be interested if he told you his real age, but most women would be concerned. Instead of being 41 he is almost 50.
Have you dated before?
And last...
You may have a level of immaturity that may be a reg flag, instead of being your soal mate, he sees a vulnerability in you he can exploit.

It’s good to give people the benefit of the doubt....but there are risks in doing that.

I’d be cautious of this man.

Your family is probably overprotective. But there might be a reason for this. Are you diagnosed with anything?

Thanks @ Redbrick1.

He approached me online. On YouTube and here but he mostly uses YouTube and we strike up a friendship, exchanged emails back and forth and spoke on skype too.
Nothing like this has happened before, i did briefly come across a catfish online when i was 17 but i blocked him the minute he refuse to meet me on webcam so i knew then he was dodgy and traced his email address, was impersonating different people. This was on bebo on some doctor who fan page.
The fact that he wanted me to delete a profile before and lied about his and the fact he's an uncle, indicated that it sounds like he took the name of someone else. Nope, not from a restricted culture or background.
Omg yes, he went on about marriage, i laughed it off and said we haven't met, he called us lovers but we didn't even have a drink together and i said, lets just keep it as friends and he said, friendship fizzles out. I went out for a drink with a guy many years ago and that was it, wasn't compatible.
Thank you. I think you're all right.

Thank you Kraftiekortie

That's true, i got the impression that maybe he was on the spectrum.

I am cautious indeed.

Thank you. I am diagnosed with Dyspraxia and AS traits, not enough to say that i am definitely autistic or not but i do have traits.

Ok yea, big red flag when a guy automatically states that you have a deeper relationship than you have. You were right to laugh it off, he could be:
From a restrictive culture where the expectation is to get married fast, (most likely not the case due to his age)
Is trying to bed you quickly, this is most likely the case, seeing that he thinks this will work
Is mentally unstable, also could be the case.
Seems like you are internet savvy, and have a sophisticated way of guessing this.
I also assume that you have your misgivings as well.
What kind of videos were you posting?

Thank you, i took it as a joke.
Got to admit we shouldn't of flirted or him joke about marriage. He claimed he had a breakdown in the past, never had a relationship, still lives at home with his parents and has AS traits.
Thank you, i wouldn't of ever met him on my own and without not getting to know him or meet him on webcam first. I used to vlog about politics and general things, such as talk about my hobbies, anxiety issues. Nothing more untowards.

It was flirting that got a bit naughty but we never exchanged pics or exposed ourselves online and i drawn the line after that and it was a bit of flirting we both admitted got out of hand and stopped.

I like playing the drums, music, art, photography.


We did, when he approached me, he complimented my artwork as he's an artist and said he liked using pastels.
We had general discussions, it wasn't till a good 6/7 months into meeting that we discussed maybe meeting up but it didn't come to it.

That's ok. I took down some videos as i did a video about mgtow and received abuse, as i said mgtow was just as bad as feminism . I have a slideshow of my recent photography on there and will put videos up on there instead now and not vlog about anything political.

Thanks for replying to my posts and for the advice.

Never heard mgtow being as bad as feminism, seems like men just dropping out of the dating game. But I don't know the subculture, maybe, especially if they are trolling you for your opinions on it.
Sorry that happened. And sorry you could not post your view points without being bullied. Seems like a common thing, and the environment is getting more toxic.
Saucy PM's are pretty typical. But still calling someone 'lover' without meeting them is pretty extreme even in that environment.
Ok your hobbies are pretty mainstream. Mine are less so.
Let me know how it pans out.

It first started out as a mgtow for life, men saying they've had enough and don't want the traditional marriage, kids and dont want to date women anymore, due to extreme feminism and would never marry otherwise they'll suffer from a nasty divorce ect and i'm all for mens rights advocates if men are treated unfairly or been victims of domestic abuse or refused access to kids ect. But Mgtow gotten nasty and just slagged off all women and generalised. Thank you. It's a shame these days, if YouTube doesn't try and censor free speech but allow other things online which should actually be banned, it's people attacking you for stating an opinion, even if it's stated with respect and in no way offensive. You're right about the environment getting more toxic.
That's true. The flirting shouldn't occurred until we met, upon reflection but i saw it as light hearted fun and wouldn't of taken that seriously nor him joking about marriage. Nothing wrong with having hobbies that are less "mainstream"
Thank you, will do.

The whole thing seems a bit creepy to me. Though I can’t judge your parents as I don’t know your vulnerability level. Just be careful.

Thank you @Hale- Bopp

I am vulnerable and need some help and support in life but not severe or that vulnerable.
With help, i can live a relatively normal life and i'm aware of dangers online. Thank you.

My parents warned him to keep away, after they took my phone for the second time, she phoned him and warned him to leave me be without my permission and my dad text him, calling him a pervert ect, if he's genuine he'll have to prove it to the authorities and i'll have to get support, for when it comes to meeting him. My parents will chuck me out if i were to meet him but then they would control me somewhat with anyone anyway. Given that i met this chap online and due to the misunderstandings, it's bound to be dodgy. Thanks for the replies

Stay away from MGTOW types