Am i the only one?

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Appearantly no one really has it like that.

I want to have (preferably aspie) girls, just i somehow really instead of going the seemingly normal way i want to be genuine long term friends with them before even considering a relationship like that. Not for typical more concious reasons, i just feel like i want it. Yeah i tend to go very deep with friends but that seems sort of normal.

As i read it i think i described it wrong, maybe somebody who knows better can describe it properly.
No i had not the chance to really get experience yet.

you're not.

it can take me up to a year, before i realise "oh s**t, i actually really like this girl", by which time any sort of chance i might have had... is long gone.

There is a difference between wanting to and doing so

Besides, i rather want both, but i want the first part much more and the second part more optional.

I'm a girl and I want this too. In my past relationships it never really went anywhere physically and I think that is because the relationship happened too fast, it gave me no chance to really get comfortable with the person first and feel like we're both best friends and a couple.

I'm talking to a guy currently whom i've explained this too and he said it was a good idea but he's already talking about having a sleep over, wanting to kiss me, calling me nicknames like i'm already his girlfriend etc... Friends don't do that.... Or have I gotten something wrong?
I notice my aspie guy friends seem to not rush relationships either so sometimes I think maybe I should just date aspie guys if us aspies are like this in general and want to take things slow? I wish there was an aspie dating app!!

I tend to go really deep with friends, but won't really get physical from that. For me my natural feelings for girls which will trigger easly and can be annoying, liking somebody as a person and such love kinda relationship are distinct.
Also my perception of most things seems to work differently.
Just, i cannot imagine engaging or wanting to in such a relationship without already being very familiar and happy with the person.
Generally without getting such relationship i would be happy to get rather different friends anyway.

What i am curious about, how did you search/ find aspie guys?
While imo time period and actual progression in that is pretty independend, how long was it with that guy you felt was rushing?
Also, there are dating websites for aspies specifically, but the problem as i see it is that they do not seem to have a focus on that, and that in my rather rural area in germany espcially aspie girls remotely in my age range would not really go out of their way to really try to do that at all, partially because they have a feeling that they don't get what they want. But i actually have no idea.

Some of the qualities I like most in a friend are loyalty, dependability, compassion, sincerity, directness and honesty. These are the qualities of an Aspie. So it is quite logical for an Aspie male to court an Aspie female. They can find a common bond. So seeking an Aspie girl for romance, marriage and family makes sense.

You said that in Germany, they have dating networks for Aspies but many of the girls are from distant rural areas. This approach might work. It takes a lot of dedication to make a marriage work and to raise a family. So how can you measure your resolve for a relationship, if you discount the possibility because of a few miles (or kilometers).

No, in general there are (i found only english) dating networks, reffering to the person who wished there would be a dating app for that.
I am in rural parts of germany and not able to travel far away, and have no idea at all where aspie girls are, and would generally be happy to get friends without relationships too. What bugs me about the dating networks is that it seems that those look like those aren't made for that, and considering what i know i feel like in general they wouldn't at all do this.

Looking for aspie women specifically is a waste of time. You're basically searching for needles in a haystack and shutting down all sorts of potential partners. I reckon you should broaden your horizon there.

You're certainly not. I'm actually incapable of falling in love with someone unless I'm at least friends with them. Which definitely wouldn't help my case on dating sites. Funnily enough, I did use dating sites at one point, but that realization wasn't the reason I stopped using them.