Sweetleaf wrote:
We would have never met if we didn't meet on okcupid, probably. So yes after failures I met someone on there and well its ended up in a lasting relationship. So IDK that is why it hard for me to believe that its 'impossible' for guys on the spectrum to ever get a relationship. Like my boyfriend is not some social guru, I mean he doesn't even have any friends though we are trying to make some.....yet he attracted me just fine. Just saying I am not the only woman out there who wants someone to fall in love with rather than a provider. The way it is now we will help each other survive..both putting in what we can.
I have even had second thoughts because I think I cannot put enough in.....like I am still working on getting work and such. But thing is he really loves me, so like he wants to be with me even as I work through that...If I broke up with him he would be devastated so I certainly am not staying with him for him to provide for me. I really love him and I think in the hypothetical situation that someone came to do us harm in our apartment....I'd defend him if need be, though logically he is bigger so he might do more defending. But that is the point if everything goes to s**t, which could happen in this country we both have each others backs.
With all honesty, do you think your male version (unemployed too, aspie, same non conventional looks, same shortcomings...etc) would be able to win the female version of your boyfriend?
As a start, the hypothetical 'female version of your boyfriend' would have faaaaar more options on okcupid than what your boyfriend had on okcupid - because that's a one reality of online dating: men outnumber women by far, and women receive tons more offers than men.
On the other hand, your hypothetical male version, would have faaaar less options on okcupid than what you really had there.