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I've met a SECOND aspie girl (need help)

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ehymw
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01 Jul 2018, 10:14 pm

Ok I didn't ask her if she had aspergers but I have my suspicions and we found each other interesting/awkward and exchanged numbers. 8O

I watched her add me to her contact list. 8O 8O

Later that day I even sent a test text to see if we did it right and she responded. 8O 8O 8O

I know I'm supposed to wait a couple of days before contacting a woman I've just met but just how long is that and does it remain the same for Aspie girls???

I feel like a clueless 12 year old just discovering girls.



hale_bopp
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02 Jul 2018, 4:50 am

Why are you supposed to wait? Stop playing games and just text her.



Sabreclaw
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02 Jul 2018, 5:26 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Why are you supposed to wait? Stop playing games and just text her.


Not waiting gives the impression that you're clingy and desperate, which is a mighty person repellent.



hale_bopp
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02 Jul 2018, 5:31 am

But you’re not really being honest then. If you’re desperate she will notice it sooner or later.

It’s more don’t keep texting if she doesn’t reply.

Playing mind games is worse than being desperate and honest, but I can’t speak for other people.

Someone usually decides if they want to date you or not before the after date texting stage.

I’ve had guys I’m not interested in text right away, but that had no effect on my interest.



Sabreclaw
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02 Jul 2018, 5:41 am

hale_bopp wrote:
But you’re not really being honest then. If you’re desperate she will notice it sooner or later.

It’s more don’t keep texting if she doesn’t reply.

Playing mind games is worse than being desperate and honest, but I can’t speak for other people.

Someone usually decides if they want to date you or not before the after date texting stage.

I’ve had guys I’m not interested in text right away, but that had no effect on my interest.


Having some self control isn't playing mind games.



hale_bopp
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02 Jul 2018, 5:45 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
But you’re not really being honest then. If you’re desperate she will notice it sooner or later.

It’s more don’t keep texting if she doesn’t reply.

Playing mind games is worse than being desperate and honest, but I can’t speak for other people.

Someone usually decides if they want to date you or not before the after date texting stage.

I’ve had guys I’m not interested in text right away, but that had no effect on my interest.


Having some self control isn't playing mind games.


Fair enough. When you’re wondering if doing it will make her text faster then it is.



SilverStar
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05 Jul 2018, 7:51 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Why are you supposed to wait? Stop playing games and just text her.


I agree. If she is the right one, you won't have to play games, anyways.



Peacesells
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07 Jul 2018, 6:24 am

Didn't you have a girlfriend already?



ehymw
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07 Jul 2018, 4:47 pm

Peacesells wrote:
Didn't you have a girlfriend already?


I had one.

She sexted with her x and now we're considering just being friends.....with benefits.

8O :? 8O :?

First date with the new girl was a smashing success.

I'm sure her body language said she wants to have sex with me and we've agreed to get together at a time and place to be determined.



Peacesells
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07 Jul 2018, 5:07 pm

ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Didn't you have a girlfriend already?


I had one.

She sexted with her x and now we're considering just being friends.....with benefits.

That confuses me. The "I had one" part makes me think that you two broke up, but the "we're considering" makes me unsure. Are you still technically together?



ehymw
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07 Jul 2018, 5:12 pm

Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Didn't you have a girlfriend already?


I had one.

She sexted with her x and now we're considering just being friends.....with benefits.

That confuses me. The "I had one" part makes me think that you two broke up, but the "we're considering" makes me unsure. Are you still technically together?


I don't want to be without a girlfriend but her sexting another guy is kind of a deal breaker.

I'm not sure if the new girl is right for me and I also kinda feel sorry for the other one.

The first girl was the one who suggested maybe we should just be friends with benefits. :?



Peacesells
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07 Jul 2018, 5:18 pm

ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Didn't you have a girlfriend already?


I had one.

She sexted with her x and now we're considering just being friends.....with benefits.

That confuses me. The "I had one" part makes me think that you two broke up, but the "we're considering" makes me unsure. Are you still technically together?


I don't want to be without a girlfriend but her sexting another guy is kind of a deal breaker.

I'm not sure if the new girl is right for me and I also kinda feel sorry for the other one.

The first girl was the one who suggested maybe we should just be friends with benefits. :?

If it is a deal breaker, break up. You can't just date other girls while you have a girlfriend until they accept to be your new girlfriend and then you dump the old one, it's very wrong against both girls. Also it can really ruin your relationship with the new one.
You should first clean up the mess with your girlfriend and only then consider going out with other girls and having sex with them.
Moreover keep in mind that when and if you become exclusives with the new girl, you can't keep the fwb relationship with the old one.



ehymw
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07 Jul 2018, 5:28 pm

Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Didn't you have a girlfriend already?


I had one.

She sexted with her x and now we're considering just being friends.....with benefits.

That confuses me. The "I had one" part makes me think that you two broke up, but the "we're considering" makes me unsure. Are you still technically together?


I don't want to be without a girlfriend but her sexting another guy is kind of a deal breaker.

I'm not sure if the new girl is right for me and I also kinda feel sorry for the other one.

The first girl was the one who suggested maybe we should just be friends with benefits. :?

If it is a deal breaker, break up. You can't just date other girls while you have a girlfriend until they accept to be your new girlfriend and then you dump the old one, it's very wrong against both girls. Also it can really ruin your relationship with the new one.
You should first clean up the mess with your girlfriend and only then consider going out with other girls and having sex with them.
Moreover keep in mind that when and if you become exclusives with the new girl, you can't keep the fwb relationship with the old one.


Just to be clear I didn't have sex with the first one though we enjoyed intimacy and I'm not planning to have sex with the new one any time soon.

New one may get sick of me on the second date and the first one lives an HOUR drive away.

I'm thinking I should plan date 2 with the new girl tomorrow and if she's interested try to be kind when I end it with the other girl.



Peacesells
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07 Jul 2018, 5:41 pm

ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Didn't you have a girlfriend already?


I had one.

She sexted with her x and now we're considering just being friends.....with benefits.

That confuses me. The "I had one" part makes me think that you two broke up, but the "we're considering" makes me unsure. Are you still technically together?


I don't want to be without a girlfriend but her sexting another guy is kind of a deal breaker.

I'm not sure if the new girl is right for me and I also kinda feel sorry for the other one.

The first girl was the one who suggested maybe we should just be friends with benefits. :?

If it is a deal breaker, break up. You can't just date other girls while you have a girlfriend until they accept to be your new girlfriend and then you dump the old one, it's very wrong against both girls. Also it can really ruin your relationship with the new one.
You should first clean up the mess with your girlfriend and only then consider going out with other girls and having sex with them.
Moreover keep in mind that when and if you become exclusives with the new girl, you can't keep the fwb relationship with the old one.


Just to be clear I didn't have sex with the first one though we enjoyed intimacy and I'm not planning to have sex with the new one any time soon.

New one may get sick of me on the second date and the first one lives an HOUR drive away.

I'm thinking I should plan date 2 with the new girl tomorrow and if she's interested try to be kind when I end it with the other girl.

I am sorry but this, if it is true, doesn't really make it any better. My advice still stands and it's the only correct way to behave in this situation, otherwise you're fooling them both.



ehymw
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07 Jul 2018, 5:49 pm

Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Didn't you have a girlfriend already?


I had one.

She sexted with her x and now we're considering just being friends.....with benefits.

That confuses me. The "I had one" part makes me think that you two broke up, but the "we're considering" makes me unsure. Are you still technically together?


I don't want to be without a girlfriend but her sexting another guy is kind of a deal breaker.

I'm not sure if the new girl is right for me and I also kinda feel sorry for the other one.

The first girl was the one who suggested maybe we should just be friends with benefits. :?

If it is a deal breaker, break up. You can't just date other girls while you have a girlfriend until they accept to be your new girlfriend and then you dump the old one, it's very wrong against both girls. Also it can really ruin your relationship with the new one.
You should first clean up the mess with your girlfriend and only then consider going out with other girls and having sex with them.
Moreover keep in mind that when and if you become exclusives with the new girl, you can't keep the fwb relationship with the old one.


Just to be clear I didn't have sex with the first one though we enjoyed intimacy and I'm not planning to have sex with the new one any time soon.

New one may get sick of me on the second date and the first one lives an HOUR drive away.

I'm thinking I should plan date 2 with the new girl tomorrow and if she's interested try to be kind when I end it with the other girl.

I am sorry but this, if it is true, doesn't really make it any better. My advice still stands and it's the only correct way to behave in this situation, otherwise you're fooling them both.


If it's worth anything I told the first girl about the new one before the latter and I went on a date.

You sound right though.

If the second one wants to go on a second date I should wrap it up with the first girl.



Peacesells
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07 Jul 2018, 6:19 pm

ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
ehymw wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Didn't you have a girlfriend already?


I had one.

She sexted with her x and now we're considering just being friends.....with benefits.

That confuses me. The "I had one" part makes me think that you two broke up, but the "we're considering" makes me unsure. Are you still technically together?


I don't want to be without a girlfriend but her sexting another guy is kind of a deal breaker.

I'm not sure if the new girl is right for me and I also kinda feel sorry for the other one.

The first girl was the one who suggested maybe we should just be friends with benefits. :?

If it is a deal breaker, break up. You can't just date other girls while you have a girlfriend until they accept to be your new girlfriend and then you dump the old one, it's very wrong against both girls. Also it can really ruin your relationship with the new one.
You should first clean up the mess with your girlfriend and only then consider going out with other girls and having sex with them.
Moreover keep in mind that when and if you become exclusives with the new girl, you can't keep the fwb relationship with the old one.


Just to be clear I didn't have sex with the first one though we enjoyed intimacy and I'm not planning to have sex with the new one any time soon.

New one may get sick of me on the second date and the first one lives an HOUR drive away.

I'm thinking I should plan date 2 with the new girl tomorrow and if she's interested try to be kind when I end it with the other girl.

I am sorry but this, if it is true, doesn't really make it any better. My advice still stands and it's the only correct way to behave in this situation, otherwise you're fooling them both.


If it's worth anything I told the first girl about the new one before the latter and I went on a date.

You sound right though.

If the second one wants to go on a second date I should wrap it up with the first girl.

Always glad to help.
Your girlfriend knows that you're seeing other girls and is fine with it? I didn't see it coming, maybe she sees the relationship as dead already and/or is thinking about someone else too. :?
Actually I didn't mention it because it seemed so weird but another correct way to behave would be to tell them both how things are with the other girl and see if they accept the situation. I wouldn't really recommend it or like it myself, though.