This is so important.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
I've said it here before, but thought this FB meme was well worth sharing:
Twice in a span of just over a week I heard the words "I love you," and neither was from a romantic partner. One was from my oldest God daughter (16) after we spent a night out to see "A Star Is Born," and the other was from my youngest God daughter (11) after I spent a night out with her, her little brother, and their parents on my birthday. Both were genuine, sincere, and very touching heartfelt expressions of love and I feel very grateful to have heard them. IMO Far too many here overlook the love of their friends & family around them as they dwell on a lack of a romantic partner. There's a lot more love in this world than that that comes from a significant other.. let it into your lives, you'll feel better for it. (And also give it freely to those you love! Whether you say it or just express it via your actions, we can all love others who aren't our partners.)
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
The Greeks had a bunch of different words for love. The most well known is Eros (erotic/sensual), also being the name of one of the Greek gods.
Agape was their word for selfless love, and is commonly used today to mean a sort of unconditional love for all other people.
Contrasted with that is Philautia, their word for self-love. I found that one amusing since it's etymologically derived from autos from which we also get the word autism.
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Secretly he hammers the earth.
Even ex-moderators here have posted a lot of nasty things to the contrary of this thread lately.
I'm only posting to say how stupid that is, otherwise I'm too shy so I'll just lurk.
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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0f5ZG9LG6k
Now I will retreat back to my dark hole and hide. Be well and take care.
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“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell
Just imagine you can't form any romantic or sexual connection with members of your desired sex and think about whether family or friend love will fill that void.
They're two different emotional/psychological needs. They're not interchangeable at all. Otherwise there would be no reason to classify them differently.
What if you're depressed about being a virgin or your lack of a sex life? I'm sure hanging out with friends will fix that right up.
The problem with your perspective is whilst you don't have relationship experience, you engage in a lot of casual sex, which would make being single A LOT easier to accept for people who desire sex. When you get nowhere despite trying you can only feel like you lack worth, and you never get any kind of validation or indication that you're a worthwhile romantic and sexual partner, or that you have the ability to attract people to you that you are attracted to (or at all). You're out of touch with what life is like for a single, lonely, sexually and romantically isolated straight male. If you couldn't get sex OR a relationship I bet youd change your tune real quick.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
They're two different emotional/psychological needs. They're not interchangeable at all. Otherwise there would be no reason to classify them differently.
What if you're depressed about being a virgin or your lack of a sex life? I'm sure hanging out with friends will fix that right up.
The problem with your perspective is whilst you don't have relationship experience, you engage in a lot of casual sex, which would make being single A LOT easier to accept for people who desire sex. When you get nowhere despite trying you can only feel like you lack worth, and you never get any kind of validation or indication that you're a worthwhile romantic and sexual partner, or that you have the ability to attract people to you that you are attracted to (or at all). You're out of touch with what life is like for a single, lonely, sexually and romantically isolated straight male. If you couldn't get sex OR a relationship I bet youd change your tune real quick.
Actually, know what I'd be doing if I couldn't get laid rather easily?
I'd be spending more time with my God kids & nephews who love me.
I don't have romantic love in my life, never have. But, that doesn't mean I'm going to dwell on it 24/7 & shut out every other form of love that comes my way. Nor does it mean I'm not going to love my friends & family and express it how I do - whether by directly saying so, or sacrificing my time to help them with something, or giving the perfect Christmas gift.
One day I'll be an undesirable old man who can't get laid when he feels like it. It's inevitable. Hopefully I'll still be spending most of my time on work at that point, but as for love & relationship interactions - my God kids will likely have kids to spend time with by then and I'll act as pseudo grandpa to those ones.
There's always love to give & receive in this world, even without romantic relationship love, or sexual activity. Ignoring that as if romantic love is the only love in existence doesn't do anyone any good.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
Actually, know what I'd be doing if I couldn't get laid rather easily?
I'd be spending more time with my God kids & nephews who love me.
I don't have romantic love in my life, never have. But, that doesn't mean I'm going to dwell on it 24/7 & shut out every other form of love that comes my way. Nor does it mean I'm not going to love my friends & family and express it how I do - whether by directly saying so, or sacrificing my time to help them with something, or giving the perfect Christmas gift.
One day I'll be an undesirable old man who can't get laid when he feels like it. It's inevitable. Hopefully I'll still be spending most of my time on work at that point, but as for love & relationship interactions - my God kids will likely have kids to spend time with by then and I'll act as pseudo grandpa to those ones.
There's always love to give & receive in this world, even without romantic relationship love, or sexual activity. Ignoring that as if romantic love is the only love in existence doesn't do anyone any good.
I'm not ignoring other kinds of love. They're just not at all relevant to my lack of fulfillment romantically or sexually.
Everybody will age out of their looks, but not everybody has to struggle to get love when they're young, so when you're in that position and most people aren't, it feels more like a personal attack.
I would encourage you to reconsider the screencapped posts in the OP.
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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
They're two different emotional/psychological needs. They're not interchangeable at all. Otherwise there would be no reason to classify them differently.
What if you're depressed about being a virgin or your lack of a sex life? I'm sure hanging out with friends will fix that right up.
The problem with your perspective is whilst you don't have relationship experience, you engage in a lot of casual sex, which would make being single A LOT easier to accept for people who desire sex. When you get nowhere despite trying you can only feel like you lack worth, and you never get any kind of validation or indication that you're a worthwhile romantic and sexual partner, or that you have the ability to attract people to you that you are attracted to (or at all). You're out of touch with what life is like for a single, lonely, sexually and romantically isolated straight male. If you couldn't get sex OR a relationship I bet youd change your tune real quick.
Actually, know what I'd be doing if I couldn't get laid rather easily?
I'd be spending more time with my God kids & nephews who love me.
I don't have romantic love in my life, never have. But, that doesn't mean I'm going to dwell on it 24/7 & shut out every other form of love that comes my way. Nor does it mean I'm not going to love my friends & family and express it how I do - whether by directly saying so, or sacrificing my time to help them with something, or giving the perfect Christmas gift.
One day I'll be an undesirable old man who can't get laid when he feels like it. It's inevitable. Hopefully I'll still be spending most of my time on work at that point, but as for love & relationship interactions - my God kids will likely have kids to spend time with by then and I'll act as pseudo grandpa to those ones.
There's always love to give & receive in this world, even without romantic relationship love, or sexual activity. Ignoring that as if romantic love is the only love in existence doesn't do anyone any good.
Sounds like you're good at defining things for yourself, which is a quality I always admire. Too often we try to live up to some image of what we should be, or how we should feel.
Though, if you're offering different kinds of love, can't you find love for Trump supporters??? That is your ultimate test.
I get what you're saying goldfish. Other types of love are very rewarding. My family are nuts, but we really do love each other. I have a handful of really good genuine friends too. It is rewarding.
But, sexual desires are a natural thing humans feel. And even with these great people in my life, there's still a bit of my existence missing.
That's not superficial. It's life.
Impulses notwithstanding, I think Goldfish's OP ia about expanding our ability to relate to others instead of routinely freaking out about what kind of relationships we experience.
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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
Become a homosexual by choice or accept a life of being forever alone? So you are an unattractive guy Aspie or NT and have struck out with all females and you have no options. There are many unattractive male NTS that never attract females. Being unwanted by females is not just an Aspie issue it effects NT men too. Being unwanted is like being dealt a losing hand in poker but unable to change that hand
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
I'd love it if they all stayed home on November 6th & again in 2020. Besides that.. No.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
I'd love it if they all stayed home on November 6th & again in 2020. Besides that.. No.
Then what does one do if you're supposed to get the bulk of your love from your family but the majority of them are Trump supporters?