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DevilMayAsian
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18 Aug 2018, 1:51 pm

I’m friends with a girl, and seeing other guys interact with her just causes this BS emotion to come up. It even happens with my guy friends to. The closer I am to the person (guy or girl, it doesn’t matter) the worse it is.

I’ve dealing with this since I was a kid. Yes, I am working on this, and I don’t have a normal brain. Any tips to overcome, I just got hit by a bad bout of it.



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18 Aug 2018, 9:23 pm

Jealousy and insecurities occur for a number of reasons. Some of them are due to a lack of confidence, self-worth, a feeling of inadequacy, and/or a fear of being alone.

With romantic partners, sometimes people feel that their partner has a better connection, and/or is more attracted to another person than themselves. Sometimes this may be true, and they have a legitimate reason to feel that way, but other times, it is unwarranted, and can become a serious problem. Also, some people can even cause jealousy around them (that might not have been there previously), by the way they behave with people.

That being said, a little jealousy sometimes, is a perfectly normal human emotion, and everyone has felt it at one time or another, but you shouldn't let it take over your interactions with other people.



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18 Aug 2018, 9:34 pm

DevilMayAsian wrote:
I’m friends with a girl, and seeing other guys interact with her just causes this BS emotion to come up. It even happens with my guy friends to. The closer I am to the person (guy or girl, it doesn’t matter) the worse it is.

I’ve dealing with this since I was a kid. Yes, I am working on this, and I don’t have a normal brain. Any tips to overcome, I just got hit by a bad bout of it.


Yes. Stop it. Relationships are dynamic and that is a good thing. Most of my friends are social people with a lot of friends. If they were not social people who took interest in new people, I would have very few friends because I am not very good at forming friendships and I...and probably you as well, need other people to do most of the work. Let your friends come and go freely. If you are possessive you will push people away.

I have a friend who was social. He put most of the work in to forging a friendship with me. We were close for many years...he had many other friends I had not met, and then someone new came along and he started spending more time with this new friend than me and that is ok. We are still friends. I can still call him on the phone and ask if he wants to meet up and because he has not had any unpleasant experiences with me he would probably say yes.

His new friend eventually moved out of town. I am sure he has made many new friends since. He can tell me about them when we meet up.



superaliengirl
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19 Aug 2018, 8:00 am

I am exactly the same... Ever since I was a kid. It's like I want people I like a lot entirely to myself otherwise I feel i'm gonna lose them to their other friend(s). I guess it has a root in insecurity and fear of being forgotten because your friend has other friends and i'm trying to work on it.

I am starting to think more and more that having social friends is better because then I could be introduced to their other friends and that way gain more friends naturally which would be great as i'm terrible at making friends on my own. I think that is a good way of overcoming the jealousy... See your friends other friends as potential new friends of yours and be happy for your friend that he/she has those other friends. I've often times in life had only one friend at a time which I have realized is something that never works because a friendship can end any time or your friend can move far away or you simply grow apart and then you're all alone so having more than one friend is always a good idea so be happy for your friends that they do. This is how I think when jealousy hits me now.



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19 Aug 2018, 7:26 pm

superaliengirl wrote:
I've often times in life had only one friend at a time which I have realized is something that never works because a friendship can end any time or your friend can move far away or you simply grow apart and then you're all alone so having more than one friend is always a good idea so be happy for your friends that they do.


I agree. Friendships come and go throughout most people's lives, and people can consider themselves lucky if they have any long-term friends (especially close friends). Aspies usually have a limited group of friends though, so in a way, it is understandable that they wouldn't want to lose the other person.

Like you said, instead of focusing on your current friend(s) abandoning you (possessive behavior might even cause them to abandon you), try making new ones, while keeping your current ones healthy.