I think I'll never get a bf. :(

Post Reply New Topic

There's atleast some probability that you're less attractive than you think, though, I would say that most girls tend to be fairly attractive if they're not overweight. I've never been to the death star though, so I don't know what the guys there are into, there's the odd chance that the beauty standards are completely different...
There's also the possibility that you push people away with your interest in religious philosophy, though I tend to think that most people don't have any problem with that, as long as you know when to pull back so it doesn't turn into long winded monologues.

I was very shy when I was young. As a result I rarely even thought about asking a girl out on a date. I had assumed rejection before I even tried. So the first bit of advise is - Try, Try, Try Again. And just don't give up.

There are different approaches to communications. Many times I will speak about my favorite topic and eyes will gloss over and I essentially drive people away. But there is another approach that is very powerful. It is the approach of asking intelligent sincere questions. You can say things and make points just by asking the right question. Just throw out a good question and be very patient and listen. So you might give this approach a try. Ask a boy 10 good questions in a row and try not to insert yourself too much into the conversation.

Also the two topics to avoid in conversations at least in the beginning is religion and politics. These are hot button issues. NT individuals identify with things. Maybe they are a soccer fan for a specific team. So if you say anything derogatory against their soccer team, they interpret this as a personal attack against themselves.

Thanks.

I've posted pictures of myself online, and I've always been met with affirmations that I'm attractive. I've even had cute guys send me...um...….interesting pictures.

But irl, I don't know. It's possible that I'm not picking up on cues. I know that I get cute guys sometimes glancing at me in class, but I don't know how much of that is normal. I get guys trying to make conversation with me, but I think that might just be being friendly. One of my brother's friends was always teasing me and messing around with me, even said that I could jump to him while we were watching scary movies and stuff, but he was also just a really friendly guy. Some guys I kind of know smile at me when they see me, but that's definitely just friendliness. I just now realized that I've sometimes had guys blatantly look me up and down and smirk at me, and one guy grabbed me and tried to show me a magic trick, but he scared me a little.

I also don't really get out much. I basically go to class or go to my dorm alone. I don't go to parties because I'm not looking to "hook up." Still, I see other girls getting attention sometimes in class. I see my crushes pass me up for other women. Or I think I'm getting somewhere with a guy and he just turns cold for no reason.


I don't know if my standards are too high? I've been rated a 6-8 depending on the day, but idk. I've read stories of attractive girls who guys label as "crazy"... those girls are said to be only good for hooking up with. I don't want to just have sex, I want a boyfriend and eventual partner to share that with. So maybe I'm hopeless.

You're 19. Don't stress too much about it. Learn or fake to be more "human". Or dont and find a cute guy on the spectrum and revel in your shared weirdness.

It will eventually happen...just be patient!

You're probably right....but I wouldn't preclude myself from a connection outside of said "town."

I got my first boyfriend at 18 so only a year younger than you and I also have pretty bad social anxiety. I also get told that i'm pretty a lot and I put a lot of effort into looking pretty.
I also thought i'd never get a boyfriend because I was bullied for 9 years straight and that really takes a toll on your confidence, everyone thought that I was quiet and weird. Then when I came to a new school everyone was much nicer but I was still lonley because I was afraid to bother anyone from my past experiences of nobody liking me. I got my first boyfriend at that school though eventually, he was quite popular and I had a crush on him for a long time before we started texting and eventually going out. He wasn't a very good person though unfortunately but it was a good experience nontheless and after I got out of that relationship I started dating via online dating.

Online dating is not hard. Dating apps are full of lonley people and i've even met some guys in their 20s who's never gone out with a girl before even though they are good looking because they're so shy so they've never made contact with one and just like you they've been hesitant to try online dating. I can't approach people in person and get to know them due to my social anxiety so I rely on the internet for both making friends and going on dates and it's worked really well so far. When you chat in text you can think through what to say first and you can take your time to search up topics and a lot of people feel awkward when chatting to a stranger but you can't let that get in the way. Just be nice and show interest for the other person by asking a lot of questions - i've noticed if there's anything a guy likes it is getting a lot of questions and some even seem offended if you don't show interest by being curious.

So please try online dating, you'll notice that a lot of people on there are "weird" in different ways pretty much everyone is. The only people who will judge you for being yourself if that means having a "weird" personality is those popular guys who wants a girlfriend who is pretty much perfect in all ways all the time - if they're even on those apps for a relationship... So avoid them at all costs, they will only see your pretty face and not care about you as a person.

You're young so don't worry about it too much. Like I said earlier i've come across good looking people online older than you who haven't dated yet either. It's not as uncommon as you think.

I know this won't be of much comfort to you but it's good that you don't have a boyfriend.

If you're as special a person as people say you are, you need a special person in your life. It's for the best that the usual shallow types avoid you for any reason. That kind of person you need will find you. Don't get too attached and fooled by anyone who approaches you with promises. Also, keep your expectations within mature and realistic terms.

Regards.

Sure, you can tell me.

I posted some pics on a rateme site and got 171 upvotes, some pics in return from cute guys, over a hundred ratings and messages ranging from a 3/10 to a 10/10, but mainly in the 7-8 range. The ones who rate me lower seem to be self-described as "incels." I've also gotten some sugar daddy propositions and other strange messages.


I don't know that this says much by itself. I wager any woman could probably get about as much attention. Still, I've been rated as high or higher than other attractive people on the site by the same people, and as long as no one's catfishing, at least some of the guys who think I'm cute are cute too.


I suppose I should get out more. I think my reputation as weird and introverted is hurting me. If I see a cute guy, I just don't know how to talk to him. I could use advice on what to look for/how to act, I think.

Mean no offense Milady, but even if you are attractive, being humble about it makes it a lot more attractive. Looks mean nothing if you have a bad personality. In the end of the day, with a bad personality, you are just good for a good time, and that's it. No partner or marriage material. Sorry to tell you this.