How do stop fixating on someone or something?
remind yourself often of all the bad things he or she may have said to you, or how they made you feel. do this especially when you find yourself in a moment of idealization or particularly strong fixation. meet new people. try to avoid things that remind you of him or her.
any more details?
_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.
any more details?
Went out a couple times with a casual friend about a month ago. Mutually decided there was no chemistry. Enough to be friends but not an emotional connection. I kept fixating on it afterwards, and after hanging out with her one on one i psyched myself into thinking i either liked her or that i was doing things because maybe somewhere inside i liked/wanted to like her. Then i told her. Agreed to be friends still, but its just awkward you know? Need to stop fixating on it
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Good advice in here so far.
Usually it’s not cool to focus on people’s flaws, but like reminding yourself of bad things they said to you, remind yourself of every flaw they have that you overlooked during your obsessive crush. It helps to remind yourself that that person is far from the perfection you viewed them as.
Or wait until a new person of interest replaces them in your mind. Or force yourself to replace thought of them with thoughts of a loved one (not a crush) & remind yourself that those connections you have with other people in your life are stronger, better, and more valuable than any crush.
Or just wait.. Time will eventually take care of this situation, as Time heals all. This thread reminds me how little I now think about the last person I thought a lot about. (Or the ones before them.) So, IMO, this holds true.
_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
Usually it’s not cool to focus on people’s flaws, but like reminding yourself of bad things they said to you, remind yourself of every flaw they have that you overlooked during your obsessive crush. It helps to remind yourself that that person is far from the perfection you viewed them as.
Or wait until a new person of interest replaces them in your mind. Or force yourself to replace thought of them with thoughts of a loved one (not a crush) & remind yourself that those connections you have with other people in your life are stronger, better, and more valuable than any crush.
Or just wait.. Time will eventually take care of this situation, as Time heals all. This thread reminds me how little I now think about the last person I thought a lot about. (Or the ones before them.) So, IMO, this holds true.
I just can't stop perseverating over this, and it's making me embarrassed and awkward, and I've ruined every chance at would could have been a potentially good friendship. I feel so ... impaired, by the whole situation
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,740
Location: the island of defective toy santas
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,740
Location: the island of defective toy santas
i know. i agree completely. i just cant stop fixating.
then consider actively searching for one or more that are even BETTER. better is the enemy of good.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Usually it’s not cool to focus on people’s flaws, but like reminding yourself of bad things they said to you, remind yourself of every flaw they have that you overlooked during your obsessive crush. It helps to remind yourself that that person is far from the perfection you viewed them as.
Or wait until a new person of interest replaces them in your mind. Or force yourself to replace thought of them with thoughts of a loved one (not a crush) & remind yourself that those connections you have with other people in your life are stronger, better, and more valuable than any crush.
Or just wait.. Time will eventually take care of this situation, as Time heals all. This thread reminds me how little I now think about the last person I thought a lot about. (Or the ones before them.) So, IMO, this holds true.
I just can't stop perseverating over this, and it's making me embarrassed and awkward, and I've ruined every chance at would could have been a potentially good friendship. I feel so ... impaired, by the whole situation
Been there, done that.. and guess what? Life goes on.
_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
Usually it’s not cool to focus on people’s flaws, but like reminding yourself of bad things they said to you, remind yourself of every flaw they have that you overlooked during your obsessive crush. It helps to remind yourself that that person is far from the perfection you viewed them as.
Or wait until a new person of interest replaces them in your mind. Or force yourself to replace thought of them with thoughts of a loved one (not a crush) & remind yourself that those connections you have with other people in your life are stronger, better, and more valuable than any crush.
Or just wait.. Time will eventually take care of this situation, as Time heals all. This thread reminds me how little I now think about the last person I thought a lot about. (Or the ones before them.) So, IMO, this holds true.
I just can't stop perseverating over this, and it's making me embarrassed and awkward, and I've ruined every chance at would could have been a potentially good friendship. I feel so ... impaired, by the whole situation
When the feelings are not mutual, you cannot be friends or have any contact at all as long as you have a crush. Won't work. Once you have come over the feelings you can return to being friends if that's an option at that time.
do you work together/go to school together/some other scenario where you can't avoid each other? if not, i find i can't stop fixating on someone unless i ghost them. how hard you have to ghost depends on how attached you are. you can try unfollowing on fb, but you'll probably still profile stalk and thus have to either delete or block. but if you work together you can only unfollow without creating tension
Yeah I did those things and it 100% made it worse. However I stopped taking my antidepressants and annoyingly now I'm fine. Annoying because when i went out with this person I started taking them to avoid this kind of situation, and this time i think they were part of why it happened in the first place.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Alright. This needs to STOP. |
02 Apr 2024, 10:14 am |
How do you stop rabbits from multiplying? |
09 Mar 2024, 10:11 pm |
How do you stop over-analyzing situations? |
23 Mar 2024, 4:02 am |
Contact the FDA to “Stop the Shock” |
28 Mar 2024, 7:59 pm |