Do women like or dislike effeminate men?

Page 3 of 7 [ 103 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

ltcvnzl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,311
Location: brazil

28 Aug 2018, 11:24 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
You can still be a male yogi and be incredibly masculine, yogis have traditionally all been male. I don't see why having long hair would be considered feminine either, men have traditionally had long hair. The vikings had long hair.

It has more to do with attitude and how you carry yourself. A feminine man in my opinion, is a man who's submissive to other men, but also to women. A man who women won't sleep with and other men have no respect for.


this commentary brings to me an important point: we must define what we understand about femininity. some people will necessarily get as a negative, weak trait... others won't.



Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

28 Aug 2018, 11:36 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
You can still be a male yogi and be incredibly masculine, yogis have traditionally all been male. I don't see why having long hair would be considered feminine either, men have traditionally had long hair. The vikings had long hair.

It has more to do with attitude and how you carry yourself. A feminine man in my opinion, is a man who's submissive to other men, but also to women. A man who women won't sleep with and other men have no respect for.


this commentary brings to me an important point: we must define what we understand about femininity. some people will necessarily get as a negative, weak trait... others won't.


I'm not passing any judgement, it's just an observation.
I've never met a woman who lusted after submissive guys, it's common sense.
I've also never met a submissive guy that other guys look up to.

My point is simply this: most men and women prefer guys who are individuals, rather than someone who constantly caters to others.



cberg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,183
Location: A swiftly tilting planet

29 Aug 2018, 12:19 am

Individualism just consists of being honest & uncompromising about oneself, it has nothing to do with gender identity.


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


ltcvnzl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,311
Location: brazil

29 Aug 2018, 12:31 am

Closet Genious wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
You can still be a male yogi and be incredibly masculine, yogis have traditionally all been male. I don't see why having long hair would be considered feminine either, men have traditionally had long hair. The vikings had long hair.

It has more to do with attitude and how you carry yourself. A feminine man in my opinion, is a man who's submissive to other men, but also to women. A man who women won't sleep with and other men have no respect for.


this commentary brings to me an important point: we must define what we understand about femininity. some people will necessarily get as a negative, weak trait... others won't.


I'm not passing any judgement, it's just an observation.
I've never met a woman who lusted after submissive guys, it's common sense.
I've also never met a submissive guy that other guys look up to.

My point is simply this: most men and women prefer guys who are individuals, rather than someone who constantly caters to others.


but femininity doesn't equals to submissiveness. or it does, it's subjective. i'm not making a judgment over your commentary but i'm just saying that mostly people will have different opinions on the topic based on their own perception of femininity – as in people who think that yoga or long hair are feminine traits, or people who perceive submissiveness as femininity, or people who think it has to do with a slender figure and lack of facial hair or maybe sensitiveness and artistic interest... the list goes on. and all of that can be less or more attractive.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,561
Location: Stalag 13

29 Aug 2018, 12:59 am

I prefer effeminate men. I find them less intimidating.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

29 Aug 2018, 2:32 am

ltcvnzl wrote:
I think on average women prefer masculine men – and that's probably the reason for the existence of those stereotypes. But there is an amount of women who will prefer more effeminate men, both considering only looking wise (I guess it makes a lot of sense because we tend to associated femininity with beauty, so a lot of people may consider feminine looking guys more attractive) and personality – it may be easier to deal with a feminine man and some may get overwhelmed by some masculine traits.

But how many of those women are there? Enough for all the effeminate men? Not in my area it seems.:(



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

29 Aug 2018, 2:47 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Asian cultures, like Filipino and Thai are by far more tolerant toward homosexuality in general than other cultures(in some survey results it shows way more acceptance around ~70%

That's surprising given that the Philippines is predominately Catholic.


It is! Actually they are among the highest; here my source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Societal_ ... osexuality

1 – Homosexuality should be accepted by society, #2 – Homosexuality should not be accepted by society."

Philippines score is 1- 73% 2- 26%


Philippines is predominately Catholic but they still have strong beliefs inherited from their ancestors' faiths, such as animism and buddhism. I am sure their tolerance toward homosexuality doesn't come from Catholicism.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

29 Aug 2018, 2:56 am

Closet Genious wrote:
A feminine man in my opinion, is a man who's submissive to other men, but also to women. A man who women won't sleep with and other men have no respect for.



No, it's not as simple as that; it's far more than that.

It's often about things which are more tangible, like the way you walk, the way you talk, your voice tone, the way you look, the way you behave, the way you dress, the activities you do, your interests, your body shape, your face shape, your posture, the way you sit, the way you eat, the way you drink, even your beverage choices, your body language, your interests.....etc

All these are radically and strongly genderized, there's a typical 'female' and 'male' of every thing listed above. Most people think in term of "men" and "women" instead of "people" and it starts right from there.

Being submissive is just one of these things too.

Look what this fella says about women on male yogis:


https://manflowyoga.com/blog/women-on-yoga-men/

Quote:
1) What is your gut reaction to a guy walking into a yoga studio dominated by women?

The bad: Many women who are new to yoga often assume that a guy doing yoga is either gay or trying to pick up women. They also may be concerned that he is are not wearing deodorant.

The good: Most women who regularly practice yoga realize that the men practicing do so for the same reasons that women do, and those women are completely comfortable with other men in the studio with them. Also, with the spread of yoga among men, people have become more open-minded in regards to the sexual orientation of the male yogi, meaning that they do not automatically assume that he is gay anymore. Lastly, women are intrigued by males who do yoga. They want to see what they can do. Men – show ‘em whatchu got.


The issue is the "The bad" part, it shows that this thinking does really exists among the average populace.


In your Swedish society, do males talk in the same manner even if there's a female presence among them exactly as if there's no female presence? (and vice versa) If not, then things still polarized.



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,123

29 Aug 2018, 7:23 am

Don't forget that women find wealth and confidence sexy in most cultures around the world.

It is much easier to be confident if you don't have to hide who you are. And genuine confidence often opens the doors to avenues of wealth. If you aren't confident you won't even get to the doors, much less be given the opportunity to open them.

The idea of changing who you are to get in a relationship may have worked in my parents day, when people didn't get divorced. Not gonna work these days, unless you can stay changed throughout the relationship. A common joke back then was women would immediately change back to who they were, even though their new husbands had the fantasy that they would never change. And the wives had the fantasy that they would change their new husbands into the guys they really wanted to marry.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

29 Aug 2018, 8:16 am

BTDT wrote:
Don't forget that women find wealth and confidence sexy in most cultures around the world.

It is much easier to be confident if you don't have to hide who you are. And genuine confidence often opens the doors to avenues of wealth. If you aren't confident you won't even get to the doors, much less be given the opportunity to open them.

The idea of changing who you are to get in a relationship may have worked in my parents day, when people didn't get divorced. Not gonna work these days, unless you can stay changed throughout the relationship. A common joke back then was women would immediately change back to who they were, even though their new husbands had the fantasy that they would never change. And the wives had the fantasy that they would change their new husbands into the guys they really wanted to marry.



What does this have to do with the topic?



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,123

29 Aug 2018, 8:52 am

As this is the Love and Dating forum, some people may get the idea that they ought to study what women want to guide how they present themselves to women.

Most women actually want "normal" men without any "issues" but they typically don't come that way.
I think I first saw this concept in Moonstruck, a 1987 Romantic Comedy starring Cher



DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,687
Location: Northern California

29 Aug 2018, 9:34 pm

ck990 wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
Just be comfortable with yourself. This whole debate of what men want and what women want is only good at dividing people. Different men want different things. Different women want different things. Do you want to fall in love with a person or a gender?


You seem to have the most realistic answer. Some women like effeminate men, some don't. We all have different needs, desires and values. It seems that I have unconsciously generalized both men and women. My premises are flawed because I didn't give a second thought.

The question "Do women like or dislike effeminate men" cannot be presented as a yes or no question because this is a invalid question.


I am glad that you figured out the question is flawed.

There is no answer to a question like that because different people are attracted to different things. It all varies a LOT. Keeps us all from falling for the same guy.

I can't believe you got 3 pages on the thread anyway.


_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


Windigo
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2015
Age: 36
Posts: 105
Location: Netherlands

29 Aug 2018, 9:39 pm

My man has long hair, wears kilts, is sensitive and caring and kind. He is not typically ''masculine'' but to me he is the ultimate male just because he is true to himself and absolutely wonderful as a person.

I don't think it is possible to make a statement about what women find attractive, as there is no such thing for males either. In the end it is all about a balance of chemistry, personality and compatability.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200


rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,089
Location: Sweden

30 Aug 2018, 6:36 am

Closet Genious wrote:
I'm not passing any judgement, it's just an observation.
I've never met a woman who lusted after submissive guys, it's common sense.


I suppose you never met a dominatrix (a woman into BD/SM as a dominator) then? I don't think this is confined only to that scene, rather it is not uncommon. Then, of course, there are women that don't care, and guys that are neither submissive nor dominant.



Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

30 Aug 2018, 10:45 am

rdos wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
I'm not passing any judgement, it's just an observation.
I've never met a woman who lusted after submissive guys, it's common sense.


I suppose you never met a dominatrix (a woman into BD/SM as a dominator) then? I don't think this is confined only to that scene, rather it is not uncommon. Then, of course, there are women that don't care, and guys that are neither submissive nor dominant.


Nope, never. Every woman I've ever talked to about this quite liked being dominated.
Obviously neither of us have any stats to support our claims, but I very much disagree with you, I think it is very uncommon. Find me an erotic novel which is popular amongst women, wherein the female is very dominant.



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,089
Location: Sweden

30 Aug 2018, 12:39 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
rdos wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
I'm not passing any judgement, it's just an observation.
I've never met a woman who lusted after submissive guys, it's common sense.


I suppose you never met a dominatrix (a woman into BD/SM as a dominator) then? I don't think this is confined only to that scene, rather it is not uncommon. Then, of course, there are women that don't care, and guys that are neither submissive nor dominant.


Nope, never. Every woman I've ever talked to about this quite liked being dominated.
Obviously neither of us have any stats to support our claims, but I very much disagree with you, I think it is very uncommon. Find me an erotic novel which is popular amongst women, wherein the female is very dominant.


At least, BD/SM is more common in neurodiversity, but I don't know about the reverse roles. Still, I know a few ND women that are dominant in the BD/SM scene.

However, I think the most common in NDs is to not care about the dominant-submissive stuff at all. After all, the desire to dominate others is just a special case of the status hierarchy that predominantly neurotypical males are deep into.