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Lady at work keeps interrogating me 0.o

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hurtloam
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08 Sep 2018, 12:28 pm

Anxiety and low self esteem.



AnonymousAnonymous
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08 Sep 2018, 1:30 pm

If this lady keeps talking to you in ways that make you uncomfortable, just say to her (in a polite way, so you won't come off as rude) that you're "not interested."


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08 Sep 2018, 2:16 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
If this lady keeps talking to you in ways that make you uncomfortable, just say to her (in a polite way, so you won't come off as rude) that you're "not interested."
OR accept her invitation, go out with her (and maybe some of her friends), and have a good time!


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hurtloam
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08 Sep 2018, 2:17 pm

Fnord wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
If this lady keeps talking to you in ways that make you uncomfortable, just say to her (in a polite way, so you won't come off as rude) that you're "not interested."
OR accept her invitation, go out with her (and maybe some of her friends), and have a good time!


Yes



AnonymousAnonymous
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08 Sep 2018, 2:42 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Fnord wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
If this lady keeps talking to you in ways that make you uncomfortable, just say to her (in a polite way, so you won't come off as rude) that you're "not interested."
OR accept her invitation, go out with her (and maybe some of her friends), and have a good time!


Yes


I concur. If you do accept her invitation and go out with her, DO NOT talk about anything that may make her uncomfortable.


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sly279
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08 Sep 2018, 3:33 pm

Meistersinger wrote:
The LAST thing you need is to get involved romantically with someone at your place of employment. Management, at a lot of businesses, take a very dim view of workplace romance: so much so that you risk termination. Only thing I suggest is give her, and anyone else who wants to engage you romantically “the brush-off.”

Lots of my coworkers are dating. They even promoted a bf of another coworker to manager position, so now he’s above her. So I don’t think they care.



sly279
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08 Sep 2018, 3:34 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Uuummm....

That's called "making conversation," and it's pretty normal.


So normal that no other woman at my work does it?



sly279
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08 Sep 2018, 3:37 pm

Fnord wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
If this lady keeps talking to you in ways that make you uncomfortable, just say to her (in a polite way, so you won't come off as rude) that you're "not interested."
OR accept her invitation, go out with her (and maybe some of her friends), and have a good time!


Don’t kniw it’s an invitation. She’s not asking me to go anywhere.
If she’d come up and asked he want to go get some food after we close that’d be invitation and sure sign if interest. I’ve had women hug me get excited to see me in past only for it to be not romantic interest. Do you have any idea how damaging it is emotionally to get my hopes up just to have it crushed again, and then to deal with the embarrassment of everyone knowing the loser thought that girl would be into him, at work.



sly279
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08 Sep 2018, 3:38 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Fnord wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
If this lady keeps talking to you in ways that make you uncomfortable, just say to her (in a polite way, so you won't come off as rude) that you're "not interested."
OR accept her invitation, go out with her (and maybe some of her friends), and have a good time!


Yes


I concur. If you do accept her invitation and go out with her, DO NOT talk about anything that may make her uncomfortable.

But it’s not an invitation o.0
I dont know what it is and so I’m panicking.

I’ve asked another coworker to investigate



kraftiekortie
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08 Sep 2018, 3:39 pm

It’s possible she might be interested in you, Sly.

Please don’t “investigate” her.



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08 Sep 2018, 4:24 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It’s possible she might be interested in you, Sly.

Please don’t “investigate” her.

They going see if she’s interested in me or not. I can’t tell. So it’s that or I just plain ask.



jimmy m
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08 Sep 2018, 5:29 pm

sly279 wrote:
It’s happen twice now she comes up and asks me how I am then what I’m doing after work.
And this time she asked follow up questions about my dinner and said she’s having pizza.


It almost sounds like she is concerned about you and is inviting you over for pizza after work. That may not be a romantic invitation but one about genuine concern for your wellbeing.

One of the attributes of some extrovert NTs is compassion towards others. They want to be inclusive and not exclusive and bring you into the herd because they see you all alone and want to promote friendship and belonging.


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Last edited by jimmy m on 08 Sep 2018, 9:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jimmy m
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08 Sep 2018, 5:38 pm

sly279 wrote:
Don’t kniw it’s an invitation. She’s not asking me to go anywhere.


That is the real question. Is it a feeler, a question to determine interest? So you might respond to a feeler by saying "I think a pizza sounds quite delicious." And then let her response drive the conversation. A back and forth exchange might lead to an invitation to join her and maybe others for pizza.


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sly279
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08 Sep 2018, 6:05 pm

jimmy m wrote:
sly279 wrote:
It’s happen twice now she comes up and asks me how I am then what I’m doing after work.
And this time she asked follow up questions about my dinner and said she’s having pizza.
/quote]

It almost sounds like she is concerned about you and is inviting you over for pizza after work. That may not be a romantic invitation but one about genuine concern for your wellbeing.

One of the attributes of some extrovert NTs is compassion towards others. They want to be inclusive and not exclusive and bring you into the herd because they see you all alone and want to promote friendship and belonging.


She asked what I was going do
I said go home and eat dinner
She: me too, what are you having
Me: chicken and mash potatoes
She: im having pizza

Then went about how pizza good but not if eaten too often.

I rather doubt she was meaning it as inviting a strange guy over to her house.



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08 Sep 2018, 6:30 pm

Found her on fb
She’s I relationship
Problem solved I guess
Told you all women are never interested in me



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08 Sep 2018, 6:37 pm

Oh, yeah, feelers. Gotta be understanding: if they’re gonna rob you of your privacy, gather ammo to use against you later when they need to get rid of you, and meanwhile waste your time and torment you for fun, they have to start some way or other, don’t they?


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