Dating someone with BPD

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I should probably note that my g/f disagrees with the label BPD (I'm no expert). And that she thinks the concept of a personality disorder is fundamentally flawed.

If I had known more about BPD, I would not have married my first wife.

One day she's all lovey-dovey, and the next she's accusing me of killing her father, who had died of congestive heart failure 7 years before she and I met. Than the next day she's denying the whole thing, even in front of people who witnessed her violent rage. Then she's awake for 36 hours baking cakes and cookies.

The mood swings were bad enough; it was the near-psychotic behavior that wore me down.

f**k, haha.

How convenient for her

people with BPD deserve to le loved and to have a chance to be understood just like everyone else. i don't like this attitude of BPD being an immediate death sentence to any relationship, though i can see why it could be one later on.

My girlfriend's mom has BPD & my girlfriend has borderline BPD. She is pretty moody but some of that is due to other disorders like depression, anxiety & having fibromyalgia. She gets stressed easily & can get mad or just shut down. Her moods fluctuate a lot & I can feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her sometimes. This said, I'm more attracted to people with things like BPD because I have LOTS of issues myself. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was going through a psychotic depression. Some of the symptoms went away when my depression lifted so I doubt I'd get that diagnoses now. Anyways I can relate to her issues better than anyone else. I like being supportive within a realtionship & think that's my strong point because I don't have much else to offer other than loyalty & devotion. I have an idea of what would of helped me when I was going through that depression & I want to use my experiences to help Cass. BPD people can be a handful but like Kiprobalhato said, people with BPD are people & I would also say they can be different from each other & some can handle relationships with the rite people. If the person recognizes that he/she has issues & is working on it like my girlfriend is(she's seeing a psychiatrist & a counselor). Cass also tries to not take things out on me so much & make things up to me when she's in a better mood. She can be very affectionate & she does a lot to take care of me.

My son has BPD. He was in his thirties before it was diagnosed. There have been some horrible times both before and after the diagnosis. His father no longer will have anything to do with him. I love him and see him as often as I can. We live pretty far apart. He has a great sense of humour, is smart and is a pretty good artist. He has a wonderful understanding patient wife. They’ve been married three years now. I hope it lasts. Suicide has been close many times and that is hard when there is love.

Thanks guys. The girl is the most caring I've ever been with and also the most mentally ill. There's a message in there somewhere about how terrible society is to the people who really care. She is very aware of her own issues and tries to protect me from them (she's done this for years as a friend prior to the relationship and has promised to continue it).

I know it's probably not the typical BPD experience, but my oldest friends ex-girlfriend had (she died tragically aged 33) BPD, and was probably the kindest person I've ever met. I once witnessed what I presume to be a minor episode, and it amounted to her randomy yelling at me and my friend, for some reason convinced that we were very angry with her. Then she caught herself, went to sleep for a few hours, and then woke up and apologized profusely.

Of course they do. But a BPD diagnosis should not be treated as a "Get Out of Jail Free" card when they start harming others and destroying property.I don't like it either, but if it ever again comes down to a choice between enduring the behavior of a person who has BPD and leading a normal, peaceful life all alone, I will choose the latter.

For me, it was pretty rough...but I'm pretty sure that girl didn't know she had BPD. I could see things being much better with a girl who knows she has BPD and is trying to work on herself, rather than the situation I was in, where it was constantly an emotional "push and pull".

I've done it and there were a lot of emotional demands, that's all I'm going to say.

Thanks for the responses everyone.

I have Bipolar Disorder myself and believe me when I say it is hell to live with for both the sufferer and their friends and families.

I cringe at the things I had done before I got any real help. Things like stealing, running away from home and getting picked up by the police while I was scared and exhausted, violently shoving my Mom in anger, screaming at my 80 year old grandmother, attempting suicide, and other things that I think I'm better off not thinking about.

I made a decision when I found out that my brother was having a baby that I will never have kids of my own because even though I would have liked to I don't trust myself to be a parent because of my mental illness. If I ever hurt one of my own kids out of uncontrollable rage I could never forgive myself.

I still would like to try to find someone to be in a relationship with some day and I really hope that they are as understanding as you seem to be with your girlfriend.

Oh wait is this talking about Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder? I'm confused.