The purpose of relationships

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When a relationship finishes l feel deep and awful loss and pain, but this is nothing whatsoever to do with the other person. I'm mourning a loss of not being on my own. (Excuse double negative but that most accurately describes what I mean).

I absolutely can't stand being on my own; I'll try to keep a relationship going as hard as I can, regardless of how well it's going.
I treat singledom as an urgent problem that needs to be fixed asap.

And I think this is because I use the other person for a lot of support. For dealing with people so I don't have to, while I do the background organisation. For constant reassurance.
I wonder if this is an aspie thing or if it's just peculiar to me, and completely unrelated?

It's completely natural and common, most people, especially NTs, get frustrated in singledom; especially those who were used to be in relationship all the time.

So no, it's not an aspie thing.

It’s human nature.

There are some Aspies who can go for a long time without a relationship. The ability to live along without any sign of anxiety may be a sign of autism. Keep in mind that autism is a spectrum that includes individuals that are markedly different.

I'm like that after I stumbled into my 1st realtionship. I was single for about 8 years after that thou despite my best efforts to find someone. I fell into a psychotic depression after my 1st realtionship ended & I was diagnosed Codependent along with lots of other things. I don't think I'd meet the criteria for Codependency nowadays but I am pretty dependent. Some of my dependency is related to having other physical & mental disabilities. I cant handle living alone & I HATED living with my parents. My current girlfriend has issues herself & cant handle living alone either. Our relationship is interdependent.

i didn't know the Stig felt pain.

I don't really have relationships, I have spending time with a man I like who then decides he doesn't want to spend anymore time with me or that he wants to date someone else instead, but when I get that clear indication that he does not want me, yeah, I understand tghat feeling of its not so much the loss of him, because we weren't right for each other, It's more the emptiness that hurts.

No one ever wants me and it just seems like no one ever will. The no is another affirmation that I'm not good enough. The "no" hurts more than the actually losing "him".

I'm fine all by myself. That means I can but more demand on a potential relationship.

Link: Why Being In A Relationship Makes Your Life Better

1. You act less selfishly.

2. Your stress levels are lowered.

3. Your risk of depression is reduced.

4. You feel happier.

5. You feel invincible (e.g., oxytocin levels rise).

6. You feel like someone gets you.

7. You learn about yourself.

8. Your world is expanded.

9. You learn to compromise.

10. You can stay healthy together.

Might be that people in relationships are happier, but being desperate is not a good way of getting into one. Besides, many of the traits are more related to infatuation. Having a crush can be a lot better than a relationship.

Well, people who are in a relationship with the right person are happier. Rushing into something for the sake of just not being alone is a bad idea. You can create more problems in the long run.

I can't really give any advice on the right kind of relationship. Hasn't happened for me yet. I'm getting more and more cautious as I get older. I still get that dizzy high of infatuation, but I find it hard to believe now that it will last.

But being around someone you feel comfortable with is precious and does make you feel happier.

I haven't had anyone to be healthier together with. I will admit that I'm struggling on my own. I work full time to keep a roof over my head and I'm exhausted. My health has been worse this year than any year in my life. I'm not coping with working and trying to keep a tidy house. I would like some support. But I made the mistake once of rushing into a roommate situation, so, not gonna rush into a relationship.

For me, being married to a woman with dreams and ambitions of her own has been gratifying. I can look at her accomplishments and feed a sense of pride in knowing that (1) I married and intelligent and ambitious woman, and (2) I helped her achieve her goals. We support each other in every way. She completes me.

My views of relationships have evolved throughout my life.

I had some very intense (physically and emotionally) relationships from 15-25 age range. These coincided especially up to ages 22-23ish with the fact that I was a hormone with toes and which contributed to the intensity.

I sometimes think its hypocritical for me to say that I would have no problem being single and solitary because I'm fortunate to be married. So, I'm not single and solitary. However, God forbid something were to happen to my wife and I was single (again), I don't see myself as wanting to be in a relationship again. There are so many relationship specific "bucket list" things that I've done in my life, I don't have the yearning for those things nearly as much or even really at all anymore.

My ambitions are very different from those my age and I cannot even imagine settling down and doing all those boring things peers dream about. I have a lot more in common with people in their 30s.