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hale_bopp
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27 May 2018, 3:22 am

I had a dream that I had a partner who I was madly into, who was also madly into me.

If it feels that good, then I guess I am missing out.

Though I wonder how common it is for people to be madly into the person they’re dating. It often seems like it’s not the case.

Maybe I should bother trying, in this case. Might start going to some meet ups.



Kiprobalhato
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27 May 2018, 3:50 am

what did he (she?) look like?


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The Grand Inquisitor
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27 May 2018, 3:51 am

I've had dreams like that in the past too. They're the kind you don't want to wake up from.

I couldn't tell you how common it is for two people to fall madly in love with each other. I'd have no way of knowing. But I think ultimately that's what most people who are looking for a relationship are hoping for.

I can however imagine what it would be like to have a relationship with such a deep emotional connection and strong physical attraction, but the way things seem, imagining will be about as far as it goes for me.

Best of luck in finding what you're looking for. Interest groups seem like a good place to start because you'll have common ground from the get-go. I find taking a friend or two to an event where everyone else is a stranger to you is helpful for not making you feel like an outsider with no real mode of entry into already-established cliques' conversations.



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 May 2018, 10:23 am

Good, so it’s time for you to stop pretending that you don’t need relationships then.

Your hormones are screaming loud in your sleep.



TheSpectrum
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27 May 2018, 6:32 pm

Wouldn't it be worth trying again to meet somebody, even if you only get to feel like you did in your dream for a little while?


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RetroGamer87
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27 May 2018, 6:53 pm

That's not such a weird dream. Lots of people have that dream. People tend to dream about the things they want.


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hale_bopp
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27 May 2018, 11:17 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
what did he (she?) look like?


I don’t know. Never remembered the details. Only how I felt. Didn’t think that was possible.

Retrogamer. Most of my dreams are about being brutally murdered. Maybe I want that, too. :lol:



hale_bopp
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28 May 2018, 8:44 am

TheSpectrum wrote:
Wouldn't it be worth trying again to meet somebody, even if you only get to feel like you did in your dream for a little while?


Well, I’ve only been in abusive relationships, so I really don’t know how common it is to be that happy.

Constantly worried about money, I probably won’t bother doing anything about my current situation, as it’s just extra money to spend.

The last thing I want is to end up accidentally pregnant, as no contraception has a 100% success rate, except avoiding sex.

Logically, the reason for avoiding relationships trumps the reasons for having one.

It was a nice dream, though.



IstominFan
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28 May 2018, 9:56 am

That would be a nice dream. I have never had a dream like that.



techstepgenr8tion
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04 Jun 2018, 8:45 pm

I tend to think the external world is so competitive that people don't know how to let up, and even if they could be wildly unguardedly into each other they'd have no idea how to go about it and keep the competition and power-games, and even worry about competition and power-games, out. In that way I don't think our culture really sets us up well for success.

With dreams like that its tough to tell whether it's an urge to find that in another or whether it's another part of you showing that affection.

If you feel inclined go out there and give it a try have at it, it'll probably take as much patience as it ever has in the past though so you probably won't want to let that dream lead your expectations too far.


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SabbraCadabra
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06 Jun 2018, 9:39 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Though I wonder how common it is for people to be madly into the person they’re dating. It often seems like it’s not the case.

I would say I've been about 50/50. Half of the girls I would say I've been mad about, and the other half...not so much. Some of them I wasn't sure why I was even with, and some of them I liked a lot for a while, but it waned. One girl, I'm pretty sure she had BPD, and that instant attraction was very intense and amazing...but her constantly pushing me away and pulling me back, I couldn't handle it anymore, and reading BPD + ASD horror stories didn't help either.

Most of the breakups were not initiated by me, so obviously the "madly into" did not usually go both ways =)

It also seemed like it was always more exciting when I was younger. As I got older, love provided a lot less butterflies than it originally did. My first real crush was in middle school, and everything about her felt like a bright, vivid, cloudy dream. One of my favorite girlfriends, we would wake up with the sun shining on us, and I felt as though God was beaming with smiles, as if He had fought so hard to bring these two souls together, and finally succeeded, and all was right in the universe.


As an aside, I am often reminded of the quote, "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."


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auntblabby
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07 Jun 2018, 4:36 pm

I can't remember the last wish-fulfilment dream I had, it's been so long now, years.



TheSpectrum
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07 Jun 2018, 5:53 pm

Love dreams are something else.
It just sucks when you wake up.

I think you're wanting to experience those feelings in real life.
Maybe it's time to give dating a try again, HB


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07 Jun 2018, 6:03 pm

dating doesn't work if one has a fundamental incompatibility with other humans.



Tim_Tex
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07 Jun 2018, 6:25 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Kiprobalhato wrote:
what did he (she?) look like?


I don’t know. Never remembered the details. Only how I felt. Didn’t think that was possible.

Retrogamer. Most of my dreams are about being brutally murdered. Maybe I want that, too. :lol:


For some reason, my dreams involve fire or rattlesnakes for some reason.

But I do have erotic dreams, often about exes or failed romantic pursuits. Not sure what that means, though.


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