I'm scared of men touching me. Advice??

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Okay, so as a rule I don't like being touched when I'm not expecting it/don't know the person. But I have no problem being tactile with my close friends.

The problem comes in with men. I can't stand them touching me. It terrifies me. My friends convinced me to go to a Halloween party at our university and a guy tried 'dancing' (if you can call it that) with me. I'd met the guy before, and I had no problem with him. And he was really nice. But even him putting his hand on my waist made me want to cry/hyperventilate. I couldn't stand it and ended up dragging my friends out of the party. Then I cried.

I have no idea why this happens (sometimes even just talking to men is distressing for me). I know I'm attracted to men, so it's not that (I'm bisexual). Does this happen to anyone else?

It really worries me. Because I like men and would like to maybe have a romantic relationship one day. Does anyone have any advice? Similar experiences? Just want to talk about it?

(If any men have similar issues I'm open to their comments too.)

Maybe you just don't trust the person enough, or they move to fast. I know that with dogs you are suppose to keep your hand visible and scratch on the side of the neck. If all else fails you could try dating a double amputee.

As a general rule, women tend to be a little more picky about their sexual partners than men are. A certain amount of aversion, at least in some cases, is fairly normal. So, let me ask if you've ever been touched by a man you find yourself very attracted to? And have you ever been touched to the point of being really aroused by a man? I don't mean to get too personal or graphic, but if not, letting yourself get good and aroused might begin to allow you to see things a little differently. I would suspect your best chance to see things differently is if you were touched semi-intimately by a man you feel attracted to. I would also recommend gradually building up, meaning allow a man to touch you a little more intimately each time you are together.

Finally, while my experiences with women aren't that extensive, I've never been intimate with one who didn't have desire and concurrent aversion to undressing all the way for a man the first time.

Good luck.

I haven't been touched in any intimate manner by a guy I was attracted to.

Other than what happened at the party I've always done my best to avoid physical contact (other than with those I'm close to)

I have such a difficult time talking to guys that I've never really been close to one. I can 'chat' with them, but never really have meaningful conversations.

Sometimes even when I'm talking to a guy and he shows any sort of interest in me, I get really nervous. And not: "omg a cute guy is talking to me" nervous, but: "when is he going to go away, please let him go away" nervous. For some reason I am actually scared of men.

So, I guess to try your method I'd have to talk to a guy first...But your suggestions are definitely helpful for if I ever have a relationship. Thank you for your advice!

I'm not usually super keen on men touching me either, I'm not homophobic or anything, in fact if it didn't bother me so much I'd probably be bi. Except women are prettier imo.

There's very few hetro men that are good physical seducers - meaning bringing a woman to a point of wanting to move on before moving on, this process could take hours (but it's so much fun!) Men aren't usually known for sexual patience.
And it certainly doesn't start at the waist! imo.

Oh yeah, Hi ya and Welcome!

Some dude was grinding on you i'm guessing. Let's face it, men are dogs.

I have a very all-or-nothing approach on this that I wonder if serves its purpose.
on a scale of 1-10, how much I like being touched = 1000000000000000000
on a scale of 1-10, how much I don't want to spend it in the wrong place = 1000000000000000001

It sounds like, rational or not, part of you is afraid the man is going to overpower you and do some kind of violence on you. And as much as you tell yourself it's ridiculous you can't tell your emotions that. You might need to talk to someone to get to the root of the issue.

Just gonna respond to a whole bunch of things in one post:

i think its normal that some aspie women don't like to be touched by men, and it might work the same for aspie men who are asexual and don't like to be touched at all

its usually about trust issues

Men & women touching in the right circumstances is perfectly fine, and can be be very enjoyable.

So that means the issue here is in you. Maybe an unreasonable fear has taken up house. It may be one of those things that can be approached by controlled exposure, a little at a time, but this is not an easy area to come up with controlled environments. Something perhaps like co-ed dance classes? There must be more possibilities if you think on it enough.