How to survive dates in public?

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I apologize for my awful social skills, but please try to follow me if possible. My wife is NT and is a very social person. She wants to go on a triple date with 2 of her friends and their boyfriends. That makes a group of 6 people including myself. I avoid social situations at all costs. My sound sensitivities make almost all public places impossible to navigate. To make matters worse, I have intense Misophonia. I absolutely cannot be in any situation where I can hear or see people chewing. Especially gum. They want us all to go to the movie theater. This is the absolute worst place for me. People will definitely be chewing popcorn or gum, and the movie theater is so loud. And what if they want to go out to eat? Nobody has proposed a detailed plan of this outing and it sounds like my worst nightmare. I do not even know her friends or their boyfriends. Just thinking about going on this adventure makes me almost melt down. I have been with my wife for 8 years and we almost never go out. I feel very guilty for this, but it's just way to much for me to handle. I am terrified of going on this date, but I am equally afraid of embarrassing her by making her miss out. Or even worse embarrassing her by melting down in front of everyone. She is very upset with me for not wanting to go. She understands my ASD, but I feel like she is getting increasingly frustrated with how if affects her life. I'm starting to think I should just get a divorce so that she can live a happy life with someone who doesn't have the problems I do. Does anyone have experience in a situation like this? How do I survive this outing? Please help!

I think you two should talk about some scenarios that may be possibilities after the movie so you're a bit more mentally prepared. Perhaps you two can take the initiative to suggest ideas for the group thereby controlling the situation a bit more. A restaurant you know and can tolerate. Or do a "dry run" and go someplace first, just the two of you so it's familiar and then suggest that place. Or...she can suggest some ideas to her friends before the evening and pin down some plans that you'll be aware of.

I would NEVER go to the movies without foam ear plugs. I would assume with your sensitivities you've used ear plugs before? If you're self conscious, go to your seats, at the coming attractions, tell your wife "I'll be right back.", go put them in in the bathroom and no one is the wiser. Tell your wife beforehand that you'll be wearing ear plugs during the movie.

Restaurant: Are you extremely shy and anti-social? Can you "fake it" for an hour or so knowing you only have to do it for a relatively short period?

I can "fake it" as much as possible. But at best I am incredibly awkward. And I have a closer relationship with earplugs than I do my wife. I just know I will be embarrassing to her. She already told her friend we can't make it. I feel guilty but also relieved. The whole situation just sounds like such a nightmare. Thank you for your comment, though. The dry run sounds like a very good idea to consider for next time.

Can you talk to your wife about possibly setting up a time where it can be the two of you and just one other couple at a location of your suggestion?

I went to a child's birthday party with my wife and kids at someone else's house a few months ago. I was dreading it. I did not wear earplugs. There were about 15 kids there and all the rest were moms except for the father of the child having the birthday. He and his wife were the hosts. He and I talked in the kitchen the whole time one on one (I'm much better at that).

My point in bringing that up is that if I saw him again at another function, outing, etc, I would be more comfortable talking with him again than if it was the first time we met.

Yes there were some issues at the party. The kids, at times, were so loud I almost yelled out in discomfort. And it was hard for me to follow the host in conversation when the background noise and chaos became overly intrusive. And, when I got home I had to hug a pillow and rock back and forth in a stationary chair for about ten minutes with my wife saying she never saw me that bad....but hey, I did it. I would do some things differently if there is a next time, but I survived and I know my wife was appreciative that I was there.

I am curious, do you have Tinnitus?

The OP?

Yes, what about you?

I've had tinnitus all of my life.

I am having similar issues with my gf, I can no longer go to cinema, no concerts, no loud parties.
Most of the nightlife activities are loud activities, and I think I am depriving her a big chulk of socialization.

Do you have tinnitus? I have the "double whammy": tinnitus & hyperacusis.

Maybe talk to your wife about what she was looking forward to about going to this with you. Was it just that she would get to go at all, and needed you so that she would qualify as being part of a couple? Was it that she was excited to be out in public with you and see you interacting with her friends?

If you talk to her, you might be able to find a compromise that gets her the element that is most important to her, but doesn't push you too far. For example, if she just needs you to complete a couple, maybe she could take a platonic friend instead of you. If she wants you to interact with her friends, you could compromise by going and briefly interacting with them before the movie starts, then leave for the rest of the movie.

Yes, in one ear since august, reason unknown.

Yes, I have tinnitus. I really would like to buy some in ear white noise machines but they are far too expensive.

Could you know the reason of your Tinntus?

I did 3 audiograms with 3 different ENTs, and 2 of 3 told me I have a normal hearing, but I can seen on the chart that I have a slight dip in 4k frequency.

Dentist suspect that I have bruxism, I am wearing a mouthgear when sleeping, spikes are much rarer now but it’s not gone.
Salt causes me terrible spikes.

I have T only in the right ear.