More Thought on Incels.

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So in the real world 99% of involuntarily celibate males (NT or non-NT) aren't a member of any online hate group, We are talking about a small but vocal minority who hate women.

I went through an Incel phase in my 20s and early 30s (I think many NTs do) and managed to dig myself out of the hole I dug for myself. I never swapped notes with other men in my position and dealt with it myself.

The only regret I have (If I do have one) is that my late teens/20s I was a good looking-fit dude and I look back and women liked me but I had low self-esteem so never took things further. I probably missed out on p****.

Incels make things worse for themselves when they spend time in echo chambers with other men who also have poor self-esteem as they just reinforce bad ideas about women.

What “better ways” are you referring to?

So you are suggesting I look for autistic s rather than nt, and I look in real world rather than online. What real-world places are you alluding to?

I'm not that naive, I know full well that trying to actually date her is a complete waste of time and she isn't interest.

Considering the nut jobs who've been interested in me in the past, she's actually considerably better.

Who would you respect more? A woman who's a religious crazy, never looks after herself, very easily offended, expects you to look after her financially and tells you that you'll never find another woman better than her because you're autistic and worth nothing in the dating game.

Or:-

A woman that doesn't care whatsoever if you have autism or not, doesn't want to be looked after and doesn't belittle you, even if it's for a few minutes?

No need to slut shame. I have infinitely more respect for a woman who falls into the latter category.

The prostitute is not thinking of you any more highly than other women, she simply doesn’t care. For all you know, she might buy into a stereotype that autistics are selfish just as much as anyone else. But she is fine with that since she is here to serve the selfish. Heck, maybe she even thinks autistics are as bad as bank robbers. But that’s fine with her since she serves bank robbers too. That doesn’t sound very uplifting if you look at it this way.

"The prostitute".......she never asks people for money and she appears to know most of the people there.

If she really thought people with disabilities where irredeemably horrid in some way shape or form, I imagine she would be vetting people first.

She's probably a swinger and in all honesty, I don't have any problem with people like that, man or woman, they're causing no harm.

My original post was predicated on the notion that many incels think that women are picky, arrogant and only looking for "chads". Many incels are also self defeating and are strangely obsessed with virgin women while spitting venom at the "sluts" or "prostitutes" as you called them.

The reality (though I was only there for a few hours) is a women they no doubt would have vilified, literally their apex enemy, turned out to be very approachable, friendly, non judgemental and actually would have probably ended their "incel" that night regardless of how socially awkward or ugly they think they are.

There are two primary methods:
1. Use the offical autism support groups and go to their real life meetings
2. Learn how to detect autistics in real life and use that to detect autistics in nornal real life settings.

If you go for 2, then you can join ordinary sub-culutures that you enjoy and that are likely to attract autistic women.

Probably none of them. I need strong long-lived connections, so a few minutes of "fun" is not my idea of a potential partner. I do wish her to be independent though, and so the first is not that good either.

Where is this location....(only asking for research purposes )

Neither is a long term solution, but I know which if the two I would prefer to be in immediate proximity with that's for sure.

Sometimes it's the most innocent who turn out to be the biggest morons going and other times is the self absorbed bed hoppers who turn out to be the most friendly and misunderstood.

Well. Over the years I've heard a lot of rumours about a particular area in Wales being a type of lovers lane/dogging spot. I was heading to town after work which happens to pass through the area (a large area with a main arterial road for surrounding towns). I pulled over to make a call and there were a disproportionate number of people also pulled over heading in and out of the woods. It didn't take me long to realise what was going on.

I popped up last Saturday again but in the night
to the epicenter of the supposed mythical "social" event.

Within half an hour that woman approached me and in an hour cars started flooding in. It wasn't the wild affair the rumors suggested and was instead very discreet, no peeking allowed, keep 5 yards away but don't be shy and wait to see what happens type of thing. It was a big notch up from lovers lane but none of them were dogging or had any interest in it. They all seemed to know each other and we're all very chilled out folks. One even took me for a tour of the area.

It was amazing that this stuff was happening right on my door step by the people who on first appearance you would least suspect.

I guess I done the research for you lol.

That is NOT true for me. My first girlfriend at age 18 was blatantly UNattractive, and not fun to be around to boot. And yet, I was still grateful to have met her, and still felt in love with her. So what does that make me?

The only reason we didn't work out is that I acted overly clingy and desperate, causing her to quickly lose attraction. When we went to the winter dance on campus, she didn't want to dance in an embrace (presumably because the event took place after she stopped liking me). I basically ghosted her after that night. Our interactions became limited to awkward hellos.

Ironically, current platonic female friends and women I just met on cruises let me get away with a lot more than my first girlfriend did. I mean little things: like, pressing into each other and giving each other bunny ears in pictures, and doing raunchy dance moves. Although in case of the latter, I got good at dancing in 2005, which made a world of difference in how women treated me.

I wasn't slut shaming. Her behavior is atypical even for a slut.

I worked with a guy who volunteered as a fireman. One day, there was a minor fire at a mental health facility, and all the patients had to exit the building. He started chatting up this nice lady who he assumed was a nurse. She was polite, articulate, told him about the facility. Then, in the next breath, she asked him, "So, do you want a BJ?"

It was then the real nurse came over to fetch her. She was very popular among the male patients there for obvious reasons.

When I was driving a cab, this one lady told me she was going back to school to become a social worker. She was doing a lot of fieldwork in mental health centers and said what surprised her the most was how overtly sexual many of the clients can be, but they don't know any better and really don't have the mental faculties to consent to sex.

Also, anecdotal story: A man came home to find his wife in bed with another man. He was shocked and angry. The wife seemed to think nothing of it. The other man was a stranger she had met that same day in the supermarket. She didn't realized she'd done anything wrong, sleeping with a complete stranger in her own bed after couldn't understand why her husband of 20+ years was so upset. Turns out, she was in the early stages of Alzheimer's.

Point is, there are some people who really are mentally impaired. They may become hyper-sexual, but really aren't in position to be conscenting to sex. I could never take advantage of someone mentally ill (though I'm sure many people can).

As Aspies with our own social deficits, we might be too naive to realize we're dealing with someone not in control of their mental faculties, which is what I think might be happening in your scenario. You assumed I was implying she was a slut and shaming her for it. I'm saying she's not right mentally and all these men are basically taking advantage of her.

There are women out there who enjoy doing stuff like that and often they're not mentally ill. With a population of many hundreds of thousands in my area, there are certainly going to be a few women who frequent decades old and well known lovers lanes to specifically look for multiple men.

Can you imagine if the sexes were reversed and it was a horny male who knew of an area where a lot of women eager for sex are hanging around? It'll be like a paradise for him and hell probably be seen as a true alpha male by other men at least.

It's not correct to assume all women who enjoy sexual activities outside the social norms are mentally ill. She seemed a heck of a lot more capable than a typical aspie and I don't see aspies getting sent off to mental hospitals on a regular basis.

I'm just saying. There are women out there who don't care about what disabilities you have, your looks or your wealth and surely that's not a bad thing if everyone goes home happy? Sometimes it's the women who you would least expect (or in an angry incels case, utterly despise) who might actually be the one most approachable and least judgmental.

Regarding 1, does wrong planet have real time meetings? And if so, do you think I am out of luck because I whined here too much? Should I look for a different autism group where I can have a fresh start?

Oh okay, and I was just asking of course, to try to figure what the problem could be as to why incel people do not get sex.

What about women, are there any incel women who cannot get it either, or is it true that they say some men will do anything, but not the other way around?