broke things off with someone and keep spiraling anxiously

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My friend and I went through a lot over several weeks, when we tried to start dating each other. I was going through a lot, and felt like I turned into a different person. Bad situation. But not completely related to us actually, although clearly there are some things that I need to work on.
I'm not sure if I have feelings or if I'm just not over the pain, or over the relationship we could have had. But every time I run into her, I get triggered. Sometimes then, sometimes after. Old pain and memories keep coming back. Sometime it's completely fine, sometimes less so than others. But often times I'll be messaging her and I'll get really anxious and I'll project that onto her and spiral out of control. Thursday night we had a great conversation on the phone and things were fine between the two of us. It felt like things were going to be fine, even though I clearly still had more feelings than I had thought just before. But then, yesterday morning, I spiraled out, and ended up telling her to run away from me and she blocked me on messenger. I'm not sure if we'll be friends after this, but I do know that if we are in the future, I need to know how to avoid these kinds of spiraling. Like, usually I'm fine but I'll spiral and then I'm completely different.

GOOD. You see that you're not a victim of external circumstance; that you have issues which can be resolved, or at least ameliorated. Therefore you have not just hope, but a reasonable chance for success.

Perhaps focusing upon managing anxiety better would be a good way to go; learning some relaxation techniques, or some cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or rational emotive behavioral therapy (REBT) skills. Maybe some introspection; identifying your triggers and what to watch out for, and establishing some ground rules for yourself (for example; when not to text).
It's not a failed relationship unless you didn't learn anything from the experience.
Be at peace.