Had aspie girlfriend taken from me by her parents.

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It's taken a while for me to open up about the core problem of my life over the last 3.5 months.

Long story short, I had met a girl, whom we'll call Megan, at a summer program for people on the spectrum. Like me, Megan also has aspergers. I am 18 and she is 16. We go to different schools that are about 15 miles apart from each other

Our first get-together was when I was allowed to come with her and her family to sit in one of the pavilions at a minor league baseball game. Problem was, they did not let us go anywhere what was out of their sight. Now, I would understand if they enforced that rule when we were at home, but this is a public place!

I did not see her for about 3 weeks after that, because Megan's mom likes to take away her love life whenever she shows flashes of her behavioral challenges. But luckily, she allowed her to go with me to the homecomings for both my school, and her school the following weekend.

During that time, however, they still wouldn't let her use her ipad to text me. And about a week after the second homecoming dance, they did give it back to her, but THEY STILL DID NOT LET HER TEXT!! !! !!

The following weekend, Megan had gone to her grandparents house for the weekend. Her grandparents said that I could come over, but when I asked her mom if it was ok, she said "No. She's up there to spend time with her grandparents. Then when she returns home, and asks her mom about when we can hang out in the future, she gives her the silent treatment.

A couple days later, some things happen that leads her mom to not allow us to see each other again. Megan later tells me that, whenever she does something that was a poor choice(and by that, I mean, making poor jugements that has to do with her having aspergers), they just, try to modify her behavior by taking things away, as opposed to helping her learn from it. My parents weren't too hard on me when I had poor grades in my 9th grade year. High School was not easy on me early on, and my parents understood that. Her parents would've grounded me for a looooooooong time!

I've spoken to her whenever we can since then, but, this has been really heartbreaking to deal with. These parents are ignorant to what goes through this girls mind and make life so hard on her, and because of that, the best thing to ever happen to both of us was taken. It's very unfair to have to live with this pain.

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been going through. My ex's parents also frustrated me when her and I were together, but they weren't this bad. The best thing you can do is be there for Megan when she's feeling down; be a source of positivity for her. I hope you get to see each other more eventually.

With thanksgiving tomorrow and christmas a month from now, it is making me even more depressed that I won't be able to see her for any of the holidays. I've been scarred for a long time because of this.

Love ultimately conquers all but it is a process and it's not always an easy one.

in most places 18 is considered a legal adult, so in two years her parents won't have such power over her.

(depending on whether or not you think you can wait that long, this could be a source of consolation)

I'm in the US, so yes, I'm legally an adult.

Megan and I have talked about living together after we're both done with HS. Given the way they're controlling her right now(you see that word "controlling"? She's in High School!! !! !), I don't think it's realistic that they'll automatically let her go live on her own, let alone with a boyfriend. Not to mention that's A WHOLE YEAR AND A HALF FROM NOW!! !! !

Nobody wins in this situation except her parents.

That’s a jail bait situation, I would distance myself from her and from her parents if I were you. That may bring big troubles to you.

age of consent is 16 in iowa

OP, you are in a very difficult situation. if you haven't already you should try to talk to her parents about your feelings regarding the whole situation. it seems like they don't have a complete understanding of what she's capable of and how much y'all mean to each other.

i was in a relationship with an NT girl 25 months younger than me for 3 years, she was 15 when we first got together. at first her parents would be reticent to let her spend time with me, as i did not know them well and the age gap at that point was significant. as she matured and her family got to know me, we were able to see each other more. hopefully megan is able to communicate the worries she has to her parents as well and they listen to her, but parents are naturally stubborn.

love usually conquers all, but you have to be patient. be there for her.

I actually did try doing that a few days ago, and she just said that it was because of her actions. Well, y'know what? That's what we call behavioral challenges. Megan's mom has responded to all of that by basically putting her in prison. She literally told me the other day when discussing her plans for thanksgiving break that her mom controls her schedule.

It's gonna be a long time before there's even a possibility of that changing.

Wake up, dude! She's the girl's parent, and parents are obligated to "control" their children.

And you, a legal adult "in love" with an under-aged girl, are likely seen by those parents as a predatory threat to their precious daughter. They have every right and reason to keep her away from you and to have you arrested if you come near her again.

Do yourself and her a favor: Either find someone your own age to be "in love" with, or wait until she's a legal adult before you make contact with her again.

My 1s girlfriend was 15 when I was 20 so I looked up the laws alittle bit in both our states. in some states if there's abuse against the one underage, judges sometimes allow the younger one to marry the one of legal age without parental permission. There has to be serious abuse thou like if she's getting molested or beat.

Until the girl reaches the Age of Majority, her parents can petition the Court to charge the adult boyfriend with Statutory Rape if he so much as kisses her.

Age of consent isn’t the end of the road. All a parent has to do is demonstrate that a disabled progeny is challenged to the point she cannot ever give legal consent and she won’t be allowed to leave the house before both parents are dead.

Do consider it. This isn’t the first time someone has bemoaned parental medling.

Fnord is right. Until age of majority (notice I didn’t say consent), parents for all practical purposes own their kids. So if mom says you can’t see her daughter, it’s for the best that you just move on.

However, I’ve heard at least one story right here on WP of a guy not allowed to see his gf, and she was no less than 25.

The thread I’m thinking about is fairly old. I’ll link to it if I ever find it. It was truly heartbreaking.

Another WPer I got to know soon after I joined was even married for a couple of years before he posted that his wife’s brother came and took her away. Never, EVER think you’re free and clear just because you both “age out” or even get married. As tight as I am with my wife and kids, nothing is absolutely certain. None of us have as firm a grip on circumstances as our false sense of security leads us to believe. Anything can happen. Best be prepared for it every chance you get.

Even if you are both legal adults, always beware meddling parents. Maybe they’re overprotective and want their special baby to stay pure forever. Maybe little precious is a homicidal freak and they’re trying to protect you. Either way, respect their wishes. Even if you somehow managed to rescue a girl from overbearing parents, you’re either gonna have to deal with them trying to come between you two or you’ll have to deal with her pining for mommy. There is no winning.

16 year olds just don't get controlled like that. Not even those with behavioral challenges. And not that I know that her parents have a problem with that, but 2 years apart is usually never a big deal.

this just proves parents are an obstacle to love always.

Over protective parents can ruin their children's lives! Become a grown man in his 30s or 40s who does not do anything without his mothers approval. Has everything done for him and well only has to work his mundane job and is not allowed to do anything unless his mom gives him approval. Fathers can be very overprotective of their daughter's, no guy is good enough for his daughter.