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Someone liked and messaged you. Stupid OkCupid

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Kitty4670
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23 Dec 2018, 2:04 pm

sly279 - Couldn’t you go to your likes & go to who likes you, if just one woman, click on it, I know you not paying. Or you can swipe the DoubleTakes until a message pop up for you.



sly279
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23 Dec 2018, 11:42 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Tinder, pof,bummble have me doing 30ish a day.


~30 matches a day you mean? That's not bad at all.

No swiping 30 profiles a day.
I don’t get matches.



sly279
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23 Dec 2018, 11:44 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
sly279 - Couldn’t you go to your likes & go to who likes you, if just one woman, click on it, I know you not paying. Or you can swipe the DoubleTakes until a message pop up for you.

Men on OkCupid can’t see who likes them unless they pay.
I only get one profile to swipe if any a day on OkCupid. They have no one I haven’t swiped on left it seems. I’ve liked every single woman in Oregon that’s on OkCupid.



Rodland
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24 Dec 2018, 1:11 am

If somebody has messaged you, his/her photo blinks as blue when you see it on the "browse matches" page.

So if you know you have been sent a message you should go browsing matches. Often "special blend" selection puts message senders to the top. Naturally, if you browse only local matches and the message has come from elsewhere, you do not see it. Any selection which rules out matches can rule out a message sender.

I got a picture that this "seeing messages requires a like" policy came around because some users got so much messages that it discouraged them to use the site. However, this policy is problematic for those users who do not get many messages.

Note: I use only the desktop version of the site. Mobile version may be different.



Kitty4670
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24 Dec 2018, 1:19 am

sly279 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
sly279 - Couldn’t you go to your likes & go to who likes you, if just one woman, click on it, I know you not paying. Or you can swipe the DoubleTakes until a message pop up for you.

Men on OkCupid can’t see who likes them unless they pay.
I only get one profile to swipe if any a day on OkCupid. They have no one I haven’t swiped on left it seems. I’ve liked every single woman in Oregon that’s on OkCupid.



Can you try another dating site? Don’t they have free dating app still? I wish you can get to talk to a woman for Christmas.



Sabreclaw
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24 Dec 2018, 2:11 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
sly279 - Couldn’t you go to your likes & go to who likes you, if just one woman, click on it, I know you not paying. Or you can swipe the DoubleTakes until a message pop up for you.

Men on OkCupid can’t see who likes them unless they pay.
I only get one profile to swipe if any a day on OkCupid. They have no one I haven’t swiped on left it seems. I’ve liked every single woman in Oregon that’s on OkCupid.



Can you try another dating site? Don’t they have free dating app still? I wish you can get to talk to a woman for Christmas.


Yeah, from what I've seen of OkCupid it's not a good site. Everyone is either hideous or extremely picky and out of your league. There's no middle-ground "average" girls on there.



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Dec 2018, 2:52 am

^ all sites are the same.



Sabreclaw
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24 Dec 2018, 2:58 am

:!:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ all sites are the same.


On all of OkCupid I found one lady who I think might be kind of compatible and I actually find passable in looks. Due to the nature of OkCupid though, I couldn't message her unless she likes my profile. So just to start a conversation with her, I'd need:

1. A profile that instantly impresses her. If she were to hit the "pass" button it's game over, and there's no way of knowing that's happened.

2. Figure out the answers to her questions that will get a super-high match rating so I show up at all.

3. Just get lucky and actually show up, even considering #2.

This is what's required just to get a first message off. Never mind convincing her to see you in person, not to mention getting to see her more than once.

There's no point even trying to just "like" every woman's profile and seeing if anyone likes me back, because virtually every woman I've found on there is clearly not my type from the get go. So I have very little desire to make a legitimate OkCupid account there now.



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Dec 2018, 3:28 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
:!:



I mean that all dating sites have exactly the same problem: extreme sausage fest, men way more than women; and dating sites' owners create (or "allow") fake female profiles to make it look more balanced.

The most gender-balanced dating app is probably Tinder, actually it's the only dating app that went mainstream among women that broke the dating app stigmas.



Sabreclaw
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24 Dec 2018, 4:55 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
:!:



I mean that all dating sites have exactly the same problem: extreme sausage fest, men way more than women; and dating sites' owners create (or "allow") fake female profiles to make it look more balanced.

The most gender-balanced dating app is probably Tinder, actually it's the only dating app that went mainstream among women that broke the dating app stigmas.


At this point I'm not even worried about competing with other men. I looked at their profiles on OkCupid as well, and even I'm better looking than most of what I saw. And that's saying something, because anyone who's paid attention to my posts here knows how poor my body-image is.

Even if I was a total sex god, these women on OkCupid are just awful. Maybe if I moved to a different area I'd get better results, but yeesh, I'm staying away from dating sites after seeing this crap.



sly279
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24 Dec 2018, 5:03 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
:!:



I mean that all dating sites have exactly the same problem: extreme sausage fest, men way more than women; and dating sites' owners create (or "allow") fake female profiles to make it look more balanced.

The most gender-balanced dating app is probably Tinder, actually it's the only dating app that went mainstream among women that broke the dating app stigmas.


At this point I'm not even worried about competing with other men. I looked at their profiles on OkCupid as well, and even I'm better looking than most of what I saw. And that's saying something, because anyone who's paid attention to my posts here knows how poor my body-image is.

Even if I was a total sex god, these women on OkCupid are just awful. Maybe if I moved to a different area I'd get better results, but yeesh, I'm staying away from dating sites after seeing this crap.


Most the women here are young and gorgeous



Sabreclaw
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24 Dec 2018, 5:30 am

sly279 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
:!:



I mean that all dating sites have exactly the same problem: extreme sausage fest, men way more than women; and dating sites' owners create (or "allow") fake female profiles to make it look more balanced.

The most gender-balanced dating app is probably Tinder, actually it's the only dating app that went mainstream among women that broke the dating app stigmas.


At this point I'm not even worried about competing with other men. I looked at their profiles on OkCupid as well, and even I'm better looking than most of what I saw. And that's saying something, because anyone who's paid attention to my posts here knows how poor my body-image is.

Even if I was a total sex god, these women on OkCupid are just awful. Maybe if I moved to a different area I'd get better results, but yeesh, I'm staying away from dating sites after seeing this crap.


Most the women here are young and gorgeous


Can you post a screenshot of your matches page? I'm curious now.



Jono
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24 Dec 2018, 5:37 am

Homer_Bob wrote:
That's how they try to get you so you pay to see likes. Online dating 101.


For other online dating sites yes, but OKCupid does not ask you to pay before being able to reply to a message or see messages. It's completely free except for the so-called A-list features, that's why I registered on it initially.



Kitty4670
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25 Dec 2018, 12:31 am

sly279 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Tinder, pof,bummble have me doing 30ish a day.


~30 matches a day you mean? That's not bad at all.

No swiping 30 profiles a day.
I don’t get matches.


Don’t OkCupid send you matches to your email?



Kitty4670
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25 Dec 2018, 12:43 am

sly279 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
:!:



I mean that all dating sites have exactly the same problem: extreme sausage fest, men way more than women; and dating sites' owners create (or "allow") fake female profiles to make it look more balanced.

The most gender-balanced dating app is probably Tinder, actually it's the only dating app that went mainstream among women that broke the dating app stigmas.


At this point I'm not even worried about competing with other men. I looked at their profiles on OkCupid as well, and even I'm better looking than most of what I saw. And that's saying something, because anyone who's paid attention to my posts here knows how poor my body-image is.

Even if I was a total sex god, these women on OkCupid are just awful. Maybe if I moved to a different area I'd get better results, but yeesh, I'm staying away from dating sites after seeing this crap.


Most the women here are young and gorgeous



Did you see pictures of me? Do you know what I look like?



Kitty4670
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25 Dec 2018, 2:20 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
:!:



I mean that all dating sites have exactly the same problem: extreme sausage fest, men way more than women; and dating sites' owners create (or "allow") fake female profiles to make it look more balanced.

The most gender-balanced dating app is probably Tinder, actually it's the only dating app that went mainstream among women that broke the dating app stigmas.


At this point I'm not even worried about competing with other men. I looked at their profiles on OkCupid as well, and even I'm better looking than most of what I saw. And that's saying something, because anyone who's paid attention to my posts here knows how poor my body-image is.

Even if I was a total sex god, these women on OkCupid are just awful. Maybe if I moved to a different area I'd get better results, but yeesh, I'm staying away from dating sites after seeing this crap.



OkCupid has fake women? When I swipe on the DoubleTake, some men can be tired of these women cuz they have pictures up against the wall wearing wings, wanting guys over 6 feet tall, asking for something, wanting men to see them naked. I did ALOT of likes & I messaged them, but I got nothing in return :cry: I wonder if they busy with the holidays, I know I messaged a few men with kids, I know they must be busy. Or they think I’m a fake too, cuz I’m 48, but I look nothing like my age :( I do get alot of messages or in their profile saying, you beautiful or even gorgeous (I don’t see myself as beautiful) some want sex with me :cry: :cry: