Help with relationship

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I feel like I really messed up, I had a partner that I love dearly. It's difficult for me to find partners, so when I find one my love is very intense. I can feel auras, and his feels right to me and all others feel wrong. I've been too absorbed in my special interest of staring at a phone screen to be a good partner and do what he wants. That's like an addiction for me. I also had a short temper and complained constantly, but I've been working on both of these things through meditation and it's been working. I have trouble properly expressing and reacting to emotions, but I can recognize them sometimes. But he needs to understand I'm terrible at catching hints. He's in another state now though and I know he still loves me and cares about me. He said he really wanted me to be that person. I feel like he would give it another chance if he could see I'm working on myself, but he told me he wouldn't come see me because he's scared of being on the street again. So I have to see him, but school is coming up and I can't right now until the quarter ends and I get another vehicle. So my question is, when I have the opportunity to see him, what can I do to prove myself to him? What questions should I ask him constantly to make sure I'm attending to all of his emotional needs? I'm a very lonely woman and I don't want to try to find another partner, he feels like the one as I've had some very special and life changing experiences with him and he brought me out of a very dark place. I want to be the partner he deserves. I'm sick of my differentability hampering this part of my life. Ive never felt this way about anyone and I'm not so young anymore. I'm 30

The only way to "prove yourself" to anyone is to be authentic; be your true self without artifice or pretense. If you've grown as a person, they will know. If you're faking it, they will know that, too.


Actually he's the one responsible for getting his own emotional needs met. I am fortunate to have a mate who realizes that I don't intuit anything; I don't get subtle hints, and I sure as hell am not a mind-reader. If she want's something, she asks for it; explicitly. For my part, if I value our relationship and I am truly interested in her happiness and well-being, I won't make her repeat herself.
One thing we do periodically is check in with each other; "how are you?", "how am I?", "how are we?". I think it helps us to feel like we're truly interested in each other, and that we're truly heard by each other. However, there's a difference between constancy and consistency; doing that "constantly" sounds needy, insecure, and clingy...and implies that deep down you don't trust them. Try for balance, moderation, and the 'Middle Way'; not too tight; not too loose.
More important than any question you might ask is listening to the answers. Don't interrupt. Don't miss what they're saying because you're too busy composing a clever answer in your head. And certainly don't ignore them because you're so engrossed in a little LED screen with a keyboard. Focus on them; turn your body towards them, look at them, lean towards them, uncross your arms and legs; really attend to them and what they're saying. If you're going to ask questions, use reflective questions; "What I hear you saying is _____"; "Do you mean _____?", and leading questions that encourage conversation and demonstrates to them that you're actively listening; "what do you think of ___?". You might want to read up on "active listening" and communication skills for couples.
By all means, continue to develop your meditative practice. Mine's helped me become less reactive and more mindful and attentive in general, but particularly with my partner.