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DrewLewis
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Joined: 25 Oct 2011
Age: 36
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Posts: 83
Location: Kentucky

05 Oct 2018, 7:03 am

I'm starting to lose hope in developing a social life. I don't have true friends, let alone best friends. I don't have a girlfriend either. I'm done trying. I give up. I hate giving my hopes up. For once I want to meet people that understands me. :(



Mr.Robot
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Joined: 24 Jun 2017
Age: 38
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Location: MI, USA

05 Oct 2018, 9:00 am

I properly cope with loneliness by staying busy in- and outside of home. I try to not give my mind too much time to lament.


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BTDT
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Joined: 26 Jul 2010
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05 Oct 2018, 11:08 am

It is much easier to make business relationships that romantic ones, so you may consider a part time or volunteer job to for the purpose of improving your social skills if you aren't currently employed.



DrewLewis
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Joined: 25 Oct 2011
Age: 36
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Location: Kentucky

07 Oct 2018, 5:36 am

You guys make a great point. Thank you for the advice.



Heatsink
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 25 Oct 2018
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: Devon

26 Oct 2018, 6:37 am

I spend days, sometimes weeks alone. This is the closest to social networking I have got involved in. Occasionally I visit a homeless day centreand and I have for at least ten years. A few people talk to me but there's people there that have been going as long as I have but I know nothing about them.
Despite this I don't dwell on the feelings of loneliness when they rear up to annoy me.
The thing I've found over forty years of adulthood is that it's essential to keep the brain active and preferably to have a physical activity to do.
Not only does it keep you from dwelling on negative emotions but when you do meet someone you can bore them to tears as you describe your occupation and interests in explicit detail.
People will then regard you as the genius you are, compared to their probable lacklustre lives, and if they only ever visit to ask advice at least your loneliness is being kept away.
Loneliness is mostly a chemical reaction due to hormones, seratonin, dopamine etc.
Plus it comes from comparing others lives with our own and believing the others are all having a great time.
One of my burdens is women who pour their heart out to me about their miserable lives and insensitive partners and how their blokes and sometimes children, behave really badly towards them and others. They often have amazing social lives, going on exotic holidays and girls nights out but they cry themselves to sleep.
All I know is that I have had a charmed life and my social awkwardness has been a blessing sometimes.
I do wish I had met someone when I was younger and it would have been nice to have a family, (I have no relatives) but I've seen and done some amazing things and wouldn't have been able to if I were married and raising children whilst struggling with being different.



colossalfailure
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 30 Dec 2018
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31 Dec 2018, 11:41 am

Once method is to lose yourself in a medium like anime or video games, but then coping is very unhealthy. Eventually you will snap out of it and feel 10 times worse, you should focus on fighting the root cause of your problem