Struggling with partner and their lack of communication

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I love my partner to bits (he’s also an Aspie) but I have to say I’m finding it hard that he seems to have issues communicating and expressing himself to me. It’s somewhat of a LDR but we can see each other often, however when we’re apart our main form of communication is text, which as of late seems to of dwindled, and me being the way I am, I don’t do well with text as I need to see, hear or feel people’s emotions and text is void of all of that.

I’m not sure what to do because he’s said how he’s fed up of us talking about feelings and the negativity, cause it puts a damper on things, so I’m starting to feel like I can’t talk to him, so I’m here now asking for advice.

It sounds like your partner may have a problem with alexithymia. It's not a condition as such, but a set of character traits characterised by difficulty identifying emotions, including or even especially one's own, and difficulty in finding words for them. It can occur in anyone, but is known to be generally more prevalent, and more severe when it is present, amongst autistic people.

I score highly for it myself; and you're right, it does make relationships difficult. When I'm asked how I feel, I often genuinely don't know; and then I get very anxious that not being able to describe how I feel might be misinterpreted as evasion, lack of concern, or even passive-aggression (this does happen, and may have happened in the past to your partner). It's not unknown for people around me to read my emotional state quite accurately before I become aware of it myself. At the same time, I don't fully comprehend other people's labels for their emotions - I struggle to relate them to any feeling that I've had. Over time, I became extremely reluctant to talk about such things at all, and would do my best to avoid it.

The main thing I would advise, is not to rush your partner into answers when you do need to talk about these things. Very often recognition does come to me after a while - even seeing a kids cartoon where a similar emotion is shown can make the penny drop. If I feel under pressure, my anxiety about that simply swamps the emotion that I'm trying to identify, making it even harder. It is something which can be improved; I have seen a counsellor who correctly identified what the problem was and was able to make some significant improvements - both the emotions and the vocabulary were both present in my mind, but I needed someone with the right training to help me classify them.

There have been a few good threads here about alexithymia, and there are a few forums out there dedicated to it as well, so googling that term might lead you to some more detailed answers - I'm not sure I can say much more myself, as such relationships have been rather rare and fleeting for me!

Thanks for your response. I’ve looked into this after reading your message and to be honest it doesn’t describe him. He’s aware of feelings and stuff, he just seems to not be so expressive with them towards me. This is mainly via text btw as I’ve said that’s our main form of communication which sucks.
On the phone, and in person I feel he’s almost a different person, because he’s warm, and he’s affectionate, and we do talk about deeper things, but over text I feel like sometimes he lets this different side to him out that he can’t quite do in person, which is frustrating because he’s more open with all things, which I like.

Earlier in the relationship he did say hes not the best at showing affection but he wants to improve that, but how can I let him know how I feel if I’m afraid he will get fed up of it?