Very Weird: Imaginary Girlfriend?

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I tend to have some odd habits that could be harmful. For the past 8 months or so, I have made up an imaginary girl in my head and dwelled on her. I imagine us doing various things, for example studying together, hugging each other, talking with each other, and seeing her beautiful smile and eyes, playfighting with her and she is physically stronger than me(As I like girls who are quite muscular). What do you guys think about this? I think this is just an extreme result of me being obsessed with girls, as I am usually shy to talk to girls in real life...

Does she have a friend?

No it is just mainly me and her together I think about. I think when I finally start talking to my crushes in real life more often this whole thing will go away. About half the time I think of real life girls so its not all the time

Last edited by icehouselover1984 on 17 Jan 2019, 11:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ah, pity.

So, she's all in your head, you dont introduce her to other people or talk to her out loud, etc.?

I think it's normal for lonely people to do this; I'm sure girls think about imaginary guys from time to time.

I do it a lot, although I don't usually give her a name or define her appearance. Instead, I picture her as a shadowy stand-in. I don't want to get too used to the idea of dating someone who looks a certain way, because if I do, what if I meet a potential lover who looks completely different? I do have tastes, but I'm fairly flexible with them.

Last edited by coalminer on 18 Jan 2019, 10:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I fantasized about dating a celeb alot I have a mega huge crush on. I met my 2nd & current girlfriend after I had been fantasizing about Miranda & neither one of them looks even slightly close to Miranda. I never judged either of their looks & compared them to Miranda till now. I never expected or wanted a girl to look like Miranda except for Miranda.

It’s just the pillow, dude.

Imaginary gf/bfs may sound very weird,but I think this taps naturally into the ND relationship process. There is a lot of thinking and dreaming about crushes to real people too, and so because of that, it's not that hard to make it completely imaginary.

Your imaginations are nobody else’s business, because only you can see them. It’s impossible for it to be known to be "weird" or "normal" because you can never know for sure whether any person had that sort of imaginations or not. There are no "rules" about what you are "allowed" to think because the mind is so broad and can think absolutely anything voluntarily or not. It could only be considered harmful if it’s actually affecting your health physically or mentally (that is, if it’s making you physically sick, depressed and/or it’s otherwise a danger to yourself and/or to others).

It is not some odd habit. It is not harmful. It is called daydreaming. Daydreaming is a short-term detachment from one's immediate surroundings, during which a person's contact with reality is blurred and partially substituted by a visionary fantasy, especially one of happy, pleasant thoughts, hopes or ambitions, imagined as coming to pass, and experienced while awake. Amongst psychologists daydreaming meets the criteria for mild dissociation. Research with fMRI shows that brain areas associated with complex problem-solving become activated during daydreaming episodes.

Dissociation can be a very useful tool for an Aspie.

There is such a thing called Maladaptive Daydreaming. There's a thread about it in the Bipolar & Other Conditions section. I imagine having an imaginary girlfriend could be bad. Like if your fantasizing about her all the time instead of focusing on things you need to in the real world. It could also be bad if your blowing off opportunities & chances to meet real women; like if your fantasizing about the girlfriend soo much that your not putting in any effort into trying to get an actual realtionship. That's not necessarily a bad thing but if you still feel lonely & want a real realtionship while not putting in any effort to get one because your so obsessed with the imaginary one.