My cheating Ex texted me on dating app

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Hell no man, I won't try anything with the roommate, after all, it's her roommate and lives where my ex lives, dating her would mean bumping into my ex- which I don't want.

I disagree. He shouldn't have any contact with anyone she knows if he can help it. It's all part of the ghosting, the less she knows about him and what he's thinking, the worse for her.

Why? I think it's a crappy and cheap way of hinting at him how she "feels".

The best thing Boo can do is go on with his life & not worry about her or dwell on this anymore. They're called Exes because your supposed to X them out of your life. Treat her like she doesn't exist anymore & don't give her a 2nd thought. I know that's easier said than done thou. I really wish I could of done that with both my exes. I could of moved on a lot easier.

You're probably right about the roommate thing. It's just the kind of thing I would do is all. But if Boo's taking it this hard--and I don't blame him for that--it's probably best not. He should still go out with someone, though. Boo mentioned someone else in another post. I didn't say anything at the time because it was way early to be thinking about that. And Boo might not want to go out with her, anyway. I think if there are any prospects, though, now's the time to hit someone up.

You sure? Is it a good idea to be dating again so soon?

I don’t think he should rush into another relationship if that’s what you mean. But he could defo use the company. Maybe even find someone else who just got out of a relationship and trade war stories.

Sometimes that can turn into something. People on the rebound can get caught up in the emotion too fast and end up in a bad relationship, so I think it’s important to make it clear that the relationship only goes just so far until you’re both sure you don’t both feel the way you do only because you’re on the rebound.

It’s also important to note that it’s commonplace these days to have a new partner waiting in the background. Heck, that’s EXACTLY what his ex did. Maybe Boo shouldn’t get too attached to a new friend, but I do think he owes it to himself to at least enjoy his freedom for however long he chooses to keep it. A platonic relationship with someone he can at least dance with might be just the medicine he needs right now.

I agree with this. As long as he makes it extremely clear from the very beginning. It might be good for Boo to seek other people to swap stories with, as it were. Friendships too.

I agree with everyone else here. She wants closure from you so what she did to you weighs less on her conscience, and you not being baited into talking to her or giving her that closure is best for you because it'll be easier to move on by cutting her out completely, and in addition you leave her guilt to fester rather than exonerating her of any of it.

manipulation. Stay away.

Yuck sorry to hear when things like this happen . It’s really showing that she doesn’t care about your feelings. If she cared wdnt she know that to contact you like this, vaguely, would just stir it up again?
Just take care always is a very non commital phrase anyway . I didnt realize that you dealt with that but its smart to post here as we are all strangers in one sense but yet we understand each others mindset better than a lot of ppl in real life

This.
Not worth wasting time on.
We have already established that she is toxic in the other thread.

I am not sure it counts as ghosting if you cease communication with an ex that cheated on you. I figured ghosting is when you cease communication with someone you're dating out of the blue, with no explanation or reason.

I'd say ghosting and cheating, are right up there with each other as things not to do in a relationship.

That said I'd agree with the over-all consensus that its best not to communicate with her again after that, but I would not call that ghosting.

You're probably right. I don't consider an honest breakup to be ghosting. I defo think you should take some time for "no contact" after a breakup, though, because breaking up is $#!++y no matter how you do it. I prefer the "last date" approach to breaking up, and by that I mean your bf/gf MIGHT suspect a breakup is imminent anyway assuming you've been having problems in the relationship. The downside is breaking up that way can also be brutal because it's that one day when everything seems to be just fine because the person breaking up is making every effort to make it a special day. No fighting, no arguing, great weather, etc. And that's when you hit them with it. There's no way to drop that bomb and quietly part ways, but you do allow for a reasonable amount of time before you actually leave. After that, the other person can't say you didn't try, or that you were cold, or that you were abusive, or whatever. You can't come back crying for closure after that. And when they call begging to be back in your good graces, promising all kinds of changes and stuff, THEN you get to be cold. That's why NO CONTACT is an absolute must. They can't move on if you string them along. Of course, they can try to bully or harass, but not without running afoul of the law. Keep it up and you can have them arrested.

We don't actually want it to go that far, though.

So when he or she keeps texting or calling, it's really simple. No contact means NO CONTACT. And if they come crawling back saying "but you said we can still be friends," you calmly explain that when you said that, it was just a courtesy. What you actually MEANT was, "Bye, Felicia." So you block their texts, number, and tweets, unfriend from Facebook, and avoid all your old hangout spots. You ghost them because the old "let's just be friends" routine ain't cutting it. If they won't get off your doorstep, you explain to the cops you have no idea who this crazy person is and you're trying to leave for work.

Someone who disses your friends, disses your mom, or disses you in front of his friends--don't bother with any kind of "official" breakup. Ghost them. If he or she hits you, ghost 'em. If they are abusive towards you in any way, ghost 'em. You don't owe them an explanation. If you meet someone and you act like a turd, don't be surprised if you get ghosted. Be glad they're sparing you the potential embarrassment they COULD slap you with.

But we're not talking about a first resort for a typical breakup, here. If you feel the need to end the relationship, you do owe it to your partner to actually BREAK UP. The cruelty of ghosting is not knowing for sure you've been dumped. Once I had a gf cut off all contact with me. It came right out of the blue. What happened? She got locked up in a psych ward. So, yeah, it can get crazy when you don't know whether someone has been kidnapped, is deathly ill, been in a car wreck, taken hostage, sold into slavery, or in the looney bin. Stuff happens. So unless you have a legit reason to be afraid of someone, don't ghost.

Another one of my exes does something worse than ghosting, although I've become immune to it by this point. She submarines. Submarining is even more cruel than ghosting.

Cheating is just stupid, and I make no positive claims with regard to my level of intelligence in the past. It's immoral to sleep with someone you don't love, and yes, I include married couples in that.

Update :

She kept checking me on that dating app from another account she did, so I set a fake account with one of those computer-generated good-looking guys.

1- I texted her from that fake account, faked a voice message, faked GPS location, used a broken english
2- She replied
3- Chatted her just a LITTLE for 3 days, she said she broke up with her current bf because she found out he's married, and asked for "My" number. I took screenshots of all that.
4- I contacted the roommate, she said she's lying she didn't break up with her current bf, nor he's married, and she's certainly trying to cheat on him as well, so she gave me his number.
5- I've talked with the ex, and asked me for the screenshots.
6- The guy almost cried, he's f*****g IN LOVE WITH HER, he was shocked, not only that, she lied to him about when we broke up, she told him we broke up on december, and I showed him whatsapp conversations during january while he started dating her (he started with her on 5th january, so she cheated on him as well from 5th till 20th January, the day I discovered her cheating)
7- The roommate confirmed me that the guy ditched her ass. The guy claimed he was the one who created the fake account so in order to save me from trouble.
8- Next day she texted me (from her other account): "Are you happy now?? I hope you can sleep after what you did!". It seems she figured i was behind it, but she can kiss my a$$.
9- The guy thanked me like a 1000 times over a voice call, he said I saved his life.

She really messed with the wrong guy. Ha!

Her trying to talk to me, this was the OP subject:



first day chat with the fake guy:
https://i.imgur.com/fA6aA4w.png
https://i.imgur.com/p2oviYf.png
https://i.imgur.com/slQnOXb.png
https://i.imgur.com/PsO19kX.png
https://i.imgur.com/UMYr4lN.png
https://i.imgur.com/ftcn7Ql.png
https://i.imgur.com/rV1kZts.png
https://i.imgur.com/0ZxrsxT.png

2nd day chat with the fake guy:
https://i.imgur.com/ZLHs28b.png
https://i.imgur.com/dqG68QX.png
https://i.imgur.com/oqt4KIZ.png
https://i.imgur.com/yzYO3Dr.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/79stJY3.png
https://i.imgur.com/A2OH40X.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/XbPzoET.png

I am not sure what she meant by that, it seems she enjoys to be a home wrecker too (???):
https://i.imgur.com/1CH4jU4.jpg

And the BOOM, the chat with the BF:
https://i.imgur.com/bQW20LF.jpg

And showing him chats with her during january:
https://i.imgur.com/ne6kgKt.jpg


Someone had to teach her a lesson.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 20 Feb 2019, 5:39 pm, edited 4 times in total.

Will you be able to put this behind you now? I don't mean just move straight on but to let go of the aggro.