Having Male Friends in a Relationship

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Kitty4670
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24 Mar 2019, 12:34 am

I really don’t understand why girlfriends can’t have guy friends? The guy friends are only online & they understand my Cerebral Pasly & Aspergers. I talked to my boyfriend twice about this, he said something new time, he said I can talk to them, he also said he want a woman friend.


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Child of the Universe
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04 Apr 2019, 10:35 am

You absolutely can have as many male friends as you want in a relationship, as long as you don't engage in romantic or sexual activity with them, which I assume you don't. If your man is trying to control who you can be friends with, that's abusive and you need to either tell him it's not okay or leave him.


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Kiprobalhato
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04 Apr 2019, 11:05 am

of course you can

would you feel jealous if he had many female friends?


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04 Apr 2019, 2:03 pm

Having friends of the opposite gender tends to invoke insecurities and jealousies inside of insecure partners, if someone acts out on these insecurities it is a MASSIVE red flag that they are not ready for a relationship.

If your BF said it's ok, that's a good sign that he has strong self-esteem and is not afraid of any potential threats, but ultimately you are the person that needs to keep men who have other ideas at bay, if your male friends are being flirty you are the one that needs to set a boundary with them or cut them loose.



magz
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04 Apr 2019, 2:44 pm

I always had almost exclusively male friends.
Our boundaries were always very clear.
If someone wanted to be my boyfriend, he had to accept it or else I would think he wasn't interested in a relationship with me. Being true to yourself is more important than having a relationship, imo.
My now-husband took the best approach: he made friends with my friends so now we have a nice (well, small but comfortable) band of mutual friends :)


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Kitty4670
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04 Apr 2019, 4:57 pm

Child of the Universe wrote:
You absolutely can have as many male friends as you want in a relationship, as long as you don't engage in romantic or sexual activity with them, which I assume you don't. If your man is trying to control who you can be friends with, that's abusive and you need to either tell him it's not okay or leave him.



You are right, I met them before I met my boyfriend. There three guys from here that I PM & talked to on Facebook messenger, there were two more guy, but they disappeared. I met a man in my city, we talk on Facebook messenger, all of these guys understand me better than my other friends.


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Kitty4670
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04 Apr 2019, 5:07 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
of course you can

would you feel jealous if he had many female friends?


When he said he talking to a woman, I was a little jealous, then he told me I’m only woman for him, I felt better. Relationships got to have trust.


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magz
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05 Apr 2019, 2:38 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
Relationships got to have trust.

Definitely. Both ways.


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Tim_Tex
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05 Apr 2019, 11:03 am

Nothing wrong with opposite-sex friends if you’re in a relationship.


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Kitty4670
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05 Apr 2019, 5:39 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Nothing wrong with opposite-sex friends if you’re in a relationship.



I love talking to you on Facebook messenger, we are the same cuz of our Aspergers :D


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