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Marknis
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28 May 2019, 5:49 pm

I was talking to my therapist about how whenever I interact with female strangers, my mind will cycle through thoughts like "Should I ask for her number?", "Does she already have a boyfriend?", "Has my time finally come?", "Does she even find me attractive?", and other thoughts that honestly make me crazy. Her response was basically this: "Just be friendly with women. Don't have any ulterior motives. You don't want to come off like a predator. You need to get to know them first."



Last edited by Marknis on 28 May 2019, 5:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

blackicmenace
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28 May 2019, 5:52 pm

Sounds like she gave you sound advice, you should take it.


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28 May 2019, 5:56 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
Sounds like she gave you sound advice, you should take it.
Perfectly sound advice, because (1) she’s a professional therapist, and (2) she’s a woman. Either count makes her knowledgeable. Both counts make her an expert.


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SaveFerris
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28 May 2019, 5:57 pm

Are you sure your therapist said " You don't want them to come off like a predator" - that's crazy talk

It's best not to come across desperate but the thoughts you have does not make you a predator - tell your therapist Ferris said she's a quack.


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Twilightprincess
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28 May 2019, 5:59 pm

If it seems like your mind is elsewhere when you’re talking to a girl instead of on the current conversation, it could send some mixed signals and she won’t know how to take you.

The advice is sound.



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28 May 2019, 6:00 pm

Look you should take all this pick up artist and dating coach advice with a grain of salt Marknis.



Last edited by Zack1994 on 28 May 2019, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Twilightprincess
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28 May 2019, 6:00 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Are you sure your therapist said " You don't want them to come off like a predator" - that's crazy talk

It's best not to come across desperate but the thoughts you have does not make you a predator - tell your therapist Ferris said she's a quack.


Since his therapist sees him in person, she might be more knowledgeable about how he comes across than we are.



blackicmenace
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28 May 2019, 6:00 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Are you sure your therapist said " You don't want to come off like a predator" - that's crazy talk

It's best not to come across desperate but the thoughts you have does not make you a predator - tell your therapist Ferris said she's a quack.

"You don't want to come off like a predator" Fixed.


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Marknis
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28 May 2019, 6:02 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Are you sure your therapist said " You don't want them to come off like a predator" - that's crazy talk

It's best not to come across desperate but the thoughts you have does not make you a predator - tell your therapist Ferris said she's a quack.


I meant to say that she told me "You don't want to come off like a predator to them."



SaveFerris
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28 May 2019, 6:03 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Are you sure your therapist said " You don't want them to come off like a predator" - that's crazy talk

It's best not to come across desperate but the thoughts you have does not make you a predator - tell your therapist Ferris said she's a quack.


Since his therapist sees him in person, she might be more knowledgeable about how he comes across than we are.


Why the f**k did you comment then ?


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SaveFerris
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28 May 2019, 6:04 pm

Marknis wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Are you sure your therapist said " You don't want them to come off like a predator" - that's crazy talk

It's best not to come across desperate but the thoughts you have does not make you a predator - tell your therapist Ferris said she's a quack.


I meant to say that she told me "You don't want to come off like a predator to them."


No you don't , why did she suggest this , did she say your behaviour suggested this ?


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Twilightprincess
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28 May 2019, 6:08 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Are you sure your therapist said " You don't want them to come off like a predator" - that's crazy talk

It's best not to come across desperate but the thoughts you have does not make you a predator - tell your therapist Ferris said she's a quack.


Since his therapist sees him in person, she might be more knowledgeable about how he comes across than we are.


Why the f**k did you comment then ?


Umm...that was rude.

I was just sharing my personal experience of how it feels when I’m talking to someone and his mind appears to be elsewhere. I wasn’t referring to the “predator” comment.

I’m not sure why we would question the potentially helpful advice she was offering. This could be a path towards progress for Marknis.



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28 May 2019, 6:10 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
Are you sure your therapist said " You don't want them to come off like a predator" - that's crazy talk

It's best not to come across desperate but the thoughts you have does not make you a predator - tell your therapist Ferris said she's a quack.


Since his therapist sees him in person, she might be more knowledgeable about how he comes across than we are.


Why the f**k did you comment then ?


Umm...that was rude.

I was just sharing my personal experience of how it feels when I’m talking to someone and his mind appears to be elsewhere. I wasn’t referring to the “predator” comment.

I’m not sure why we would question the potentially helpful advice she was offering. This could be a path towards progress for Marknis.


Well I was referring to the predator comment , If you think "Should I ask for her number?", "Does she already have a boyfriend?", "Has my time finally come?", "Does she even find me attractive?", are predator thoughts you're mental


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Marknis
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28 May 2019, 6:12 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
If it seems like your mind is elsewhere when you’re talking to a girl instead of on the current conversation, it could send some mixed signals and she won’t know how to take you.

The advice is sound.


I didn't date in high school and I turned 18 single while most of my classmates were dating, having sex, etc. so it terrified me that I was going to be alone forever. This was also the root of the clinical depression I suffer from. I was socially isolated, didn't have my own vehicle, and lived in the suburbs so those things only reinforced my fears.

When I reached my 20's and couldn't even get a coffee date despite "putting myself out there" instead of waiting for women to approach me like I used to do and hope it would happen, I started feeling like my time was running out.

I am 30 now and I don't want to live to my 40's if things do not get better



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28 May 2019, 6:12 pm

If you meet a girl keep it casual and ask her to do stuff a few times before asking her out