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Kitty4670
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21 Jun 2019, 7:51 pm

I’m going break up with my boyfriend, should I talk to him & tell him first before I go on a dating site?



kraftiekortie
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21 Jun 2019, 7:55 pm

I guess....if you feel some sort of commitment to the guy.



madbutnotmad
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21 Jun 2019, 8:18 pm

such a choice is yours to make
the people you meet in the world will judge you according to their own standards and behaviour

there is no right or wrong answer
unless you hold faith or moral values
or do not want to be disapproved of by others
who hold such standards

i would perhaps consider how your relationship worked
did you hold any moral values as important
for example, did you agree with your then boyfriend
to be honest, or was honesty not so important

this like i say is very subjective

personally, i am a morally rigid person with asperger syndrome
so hold honesty and justice in high regard

many years ago, i did split up with my wife after being married for a short period of time
she had been cheating, but she also was very volatile and sadistic in nature
her cheating was in particular extremely appalling, as she promoted her self as a holy'ier than thou
extreme Jehovah Witness, who spent her spare time knocking on doors to tell people off
and get them to repent and join "the only true religion"....

she also force converted me (bullied me) into joining, emotionally blackmailed me to marry her
and then committed adaultry, plus loads of other horrible stuff

in order to cover up her abuse, her and the men she was involved in tried to frame me for something
i didn't do and not capable of

so. yes. very shameful. I did have a go at her for her despicable actions
i live on a small island, and others heard that i had a go at her for cheating
and loads of people started to also bully me so as to stick up for the "poor woman"
who had done nothing wrong.... without any of them knowing any of the facts of the case

like i say, some people are only too keen to join in a lynch mob
because i guess they are just bullies by nature, and cant wait for an excuse to bully in a group
such behaviour must be a type of a psychological phenomena

nothing like group victimisation of an individual for petty criminals who are also wimps
as a method to take out those who threaten to expose them for their dishonest and devious behaviourism

but there ya go..

short answer, up to you. personally i would say yep. although your history between you and this other party
really is your business. and your judgement call.

hope that helps



Dan82
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21 Jun 2019, 9:50 pm

I would say you should tell him unless he's, like, abandoned you somehow. If he's cheating really hardcore and you know he knows you know and breaking up is just a formality or something. Otherwise at best it's a potential point of contention, i.e. it could cause a fight. If you know he's no threat and you know pretty much everyone would agree you have the right to treat him like a jerk, i.e. you're not worried about losing any friends, whatever I guess. But I think it's best to avoid unnecessary conflict.



SilentJessica
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21 Jun 2019, 10:07 pm

Telling him would be the best thing to do because it’s being honest and fair. Most people would like to know the truth, even if it hurts them.

I hope when you find someone else, he will be much better for you. :)


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Alterity
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21 Jun 2019, 10:21 pm

Uh...the considerate and adult thing to do would be to end things first.


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TwilightPrincess
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21 Jun 2019, 10:25 pm

Is anything preventing you from doing so? Is there any reason why you wouldn’t?

I know that this guy has given you some trouble, so I just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t anything else we should know before giving you advice.


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Kitty4670
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21 Jun 2019, 11:10 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Is anything preventing you from doing so? Is there any reason why you wouldn’t?

I know that this guy has given you some trouble, so I just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t anything else we should know before giving you advice.

No, there not.



Kitty4670
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21 Jun 2019, 11:12 pm

Alterity wrote:
Uh...the considerate and adult thing to do would be to end things first.


You right. I haven’t gone on the dating site yet.



nick007
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21 Jun 2019, 11:48 pm

I think it's good to be honest & tell him unless he was being very abusive or you believe he was scamming you or cheating on you or something.


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Banjo54
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21 Jun 2019, 11:58 pm

nick007 wrote:
I think it's good to be honest & tell him unless he was being very abusive or you believe he was scamming you or cheating on you or something.

This. ^