Struggling to connect with boyfriend

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Sunnymoon
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02 Aug 2019, 12:28 am

Hello to whom is reading this. I'm in a relationship for about 2 months now with a man. We started talking online and had a great connection. He is very sweet but does it take aspies longer to connect and fall in love? I feel like I love him, but after hanging out more im not so sure:/ but I feel like I would know. I feel like I have love feelings but thats probably inflation or w/e. eye contact is still uncomfortable for me, I struggle so much with intimacy. I'm going to be brave tomorrow and have us look each other in the eyes for like 20 seconds. that's some advice I got last time. just looking for any input. thanks :heart:



breaks0
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02 Aug 2019, 12:58 am

What do you mean by inflation or do you mean infatuation?



Teach51
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03 Aug 2019, 10:08 am

Sunnymoon wrote:
Hello to whom is reading this. I'm in a relationship for about 2 months now with a man. We started talking online and had a great connection. He is very sweet but does it take aspies longer to connect and fall in love? I feel like I love him, but after hanging out more im not so sure:/ but I feel like I would know. I feel like I have love feelings but thats probably inflation or w/e. eye contact is still uncomfortable for me, I struggle so much with intimacy. I'm going to be brave tomorrow and have us look each other in the eyes for like 20 seconds. that's some advice I got last time. just looking for any input. thanks :heart:


Sweety take it one day at a time, be yourself always and stay in the relationship as long as it feels good and comfortable. Think about your personal boundaries, and decide how quickly you are willing to move forward. Pay attention if he is honest and considerate, or not, and see how you feel. Love takes a while to develop and usually it's infatuation in the beginning, physical or emotional attraction, but that's okay. I always tell myself that the fact that someone wants me does not necessarily mean that he is worthy. Have fun and take care.
Shared experiences good and bad create a deeper bond.


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rdos
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06 Aug 2019, 4:23 am

In my experience, it takes a lot more than two months to build a connection. I'd say it takes more like two years. :wink:

I'd also say that our connections build more effectively without a lot of talking & conversation, and I definitely would not consider this "eye contact" game.



nick007
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06 Aug 2019, 9:51 am

rdos wrote:
In my experience, it takes a lot more than two months to build a connection. I'd say it takes more like two years. :wink:

I'd also say that our connections build more effectively without a lot of talking & conversation, and I definitely would not consider this "eye contact" game.
I developed a connection pretty fast with both my exes & current girlfriend but developing a connection is one of those things that can vary by the Aspie. It may also of been cuz me & my 1st girlfriend had a lot of common interests & we also both have dyslexia & AD[H]D & my 2nd & current girlfriend are on the spectrum.

I don't think you should try pushing yourself to make eye contact with your guy Sunnymoon. Us Aspies tend to have problems making eye contact correctly even when we push ourselves to. We tend to do it for too long at a time & come off as creepy or something. It's better to just explain to him that eye contact is one of those things you have problems with.


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